x’s and o’s

Summer Lovin’: Hailtothee.com’s Speed Coach Turns Activist…and Other UGA Preseason Developments…

Now, That’s A Spicy Chicken Biscuit: Hailtothee’s own Nicholas Davis and Scooter in a sweet moment of mayonnaise and pickle bliss!

 

So, hopefully you all remember our previously out of work speed coach, Nicholas Davis.  Maybe you don’t.  Here is an update to refresh your memory.

We’re all about charity here at HTT and when this beatuiful man came to us begging on hands and knees (mostly knees, though) we were happier than Sandusky in game room at a Shakey’s Pizza to give him a job.  What is he good at?  Who knows.  I’ve heard he’s been known to impersonate Bono from U2, sing a beautiful rendition of Garth Brooks ‘Calling Baton Rouge’, eat at unconventional hours, lose mercilessly to everyone else in his fantasy football league, bitches harder than Lindsey Lohan when she’s out of blow, and loves the word ‘May-yan’.

We sent this buxom bottom out to UGA’s training camp to get the scoop on the happenings of preseason.  So did he pass the test? (You have to read this out loud and in the style of a gay pageant coordinator from Dothan, Alabama for it to have its full effect)  “Sure may-yan.” He says, ” Hepatitus test, right?  I passed that I think. 2 A’s a B and a C”.  He apparently met up with one of the comment handles here, Scooter, during ‘Chick-fi-la Gate 2012’ or what we like to call ‘Nuggets and Nom Noms’.  He thought old ‘shirt over your head’ disguise would work.  He should have known better.  You can’t disguise a Grade-A piece of he-pussy of that quality….no sir…no way.

So here we go, on with the preseason break down: (Keep reading this in the voice)

“Ok may-yan.  Here is the deal.  We got a lot of depth comin’ bay-yack on both sides of the ball.  Let’s start with the DEFENSE.  Oh yeah!  Kickin’ names and takin’ ass!  Check it out: Jarvis Jones, gonna walk all over folks.  This all-america, all-sec, all-stud will be wreaking havoc all season long.  Get Ready!  But, there is another.  Yes, another.  Just like in Star Wars.  He is also a JJ.  Jordan Jenkins that is.  He will probably make a big splash in the Mizzou game, but from what I hear that kid is gonna be something special.

Looking further into the defense, as long as we can keep our guys on the field and have them not smoke the weed and drive drunk, then we should be ok.  I’m really excited to see ol’ Corni Washington (he let’s me call him that because he is cornier than a fall parade in Iowa) with his hand on the ground rushing (and demolishing) slow, man-titted lineman,

Looking at the offense: Murray will never be as good as ANY QB who has ever played for the illustrious Wisconsin Badgers, but he is pretty good.  It looks like he has been taking the advice from the knowledgeable and football gurus over in the AJC’s comment section and this 35 td, record breaking, all SEC QB will be taking lessons from the greatest QB of all time, Mr. Hutson Mason.  With his footwork much improved from a season earlier, look for Murray to have a good year and be impressive in good games.  But look to Mason to burn that red-shirt and become the GREATEST QB the world has ever seen with a 51% completion rate and 13 TD’s.

Our running back situation is just like this:

That’s right…fuckin’ in a pile.  No one knows who is gettin’ it and know one knows who is takin’ it.  Look for Ken Malcome to get the initial starting nod, but Gurley and Marshall should get some looks early and often.

Receivers look good.  Chris Conley may one day be the first black President that I would actually vote for.

Special teams?  Are you kidding?  After Blair Walsh girlfriends did one of these to him:

You can’t hit the broad side of a barn when your girl fucks with your video games stuff. Apparently Starcraft 2 Beta Key Shit is for real.

So we now have a freshman punter and kicker.  Ehhh…we should be fine.

There you have it. ”

Well, here we are my friends.  Close to kickoff…less than 9 days away now.

-Inspector G

 

Nicholas Davis Game of The Century Breakdown

Nicholas Davis, Homo, Out of Work Speed Trainer

 

This game of the century brief breakdown is brought to you by “Davis Speed Training: Two Hours A Day, 2 Days A Week, and You Can Be a 2 Pump Chump Too!!”.

Here is the breakdown Nicholas sent me:

“So we all know that LSU and Bama are gearing up for a 1 vs 2 battle of the ages.  Oh really?  Well in my opinion the Wisconsin Badgers and Russel Wilson would butt-rape them harder than a 6′-4” Bear on an unsuspecting twink.  Let’s be honst…these teams are a direct result of a weak schedule and NOT because of their aptitude on offense, stellar coaching, supreme baby-eating talent, defense fortitude, or beast mode capabilities.  No.  These teams are just ranked that way because they are in the SEC.

Now, you see man, I went to UGA.  But I always bet against them.  I would argue with the Inspector all the time about how shitty Richt is or how bad David Green was.  The only 3 players in UGA history I ever liked were DJ Shockley, Knowshon Moreno, and Joe T III.  I’m a college football realist.  And that’s why I love Wisconsin.

But, back to the breakdown.  If I had to guess, I would say LSU wins this game, man.  They are battle hardened.  The quality of opponents they have played this year is much better than Alabama.  In fact let me make this easy for you in a chart breakdown:

LSU                                              BAMA

QB’s                                       X

RB                                                                                                  X

WR’s                                     X

DEF                                   PUSH                                             PUSH

COACHING                                                                                X

INTANGIBLES                 X

TEAM                                  X

 

So in other words, LSU is more battle tested and has the better overall offense.  I look for LSU to get a couple of scores early and let their defense try to contain Richardson.  The true battle for the game, however will be the battle between Bama’s O-Line and LSU’s D-Line.  If they can’t keep the LSU bigguns off of Mccarron, it is gonna be a long night Bama fans.

Score: 24-10 LSU.   Or better yet, I’ll post a picture that will graphically represent my thoughts on this game:

Growing Up in Alabama, I've Had Access to a Plethora of Chinese Buffets

 

So there……man.”

-Inspector G

 

‘Keyes’ To The Game: Big Sucking Orange Edition

“…Voice mail recording.  1 New Message…New Message from: ‘BIIIG DADDDY KEYES, BITCH!’ …30 seconds…’Inspector, it’s me Alan.  Alan Keyes…ha!  I’m drunk at a Sonny’s BBQ in Dallas!  I’m gonna be late for our interview tomorrow, but meet me at the Gymboree in Roswell Thursday at 9!  Oh and Inspector, inspect this (farts into the phone)!….end of messages.”

Cornelius Washington, We Are Brothers in Strife!

 

Inspector G: “Honestly I can’t seem to figure out why we meet in these places.  I feel uncomfortable here especially.  Gymboree?  You’re an odd man. AND you were drunk last night.”

Keyes: “Yes, I was.  I wanna give a huge shout out to Belinda Dobbs and the whole crew at Sonny’s BBQ in Dallas for setting me up nicely and not calling the cops when I puked in the salad bar.  But, moving on…

The dawgs have a tough test this week.  So many variables.  So many possible pitfalls.  Yet so much opportunity to have their first beat-down of a team all year.  Yep, you heard me right.  If some cards fall early for the dawgs and they control the turnovers on offense, I think they are poised for a rout of the Tennessee Volunteers Road-side workers.

Let’s start with the offense.  This group has not been stellar, but has been efficient.  Lately, points have come early yet efficiently.  I know everyone is worried about Murray and the turnovers, but he still is 17th nationally in passer efficiency and is on pace to throw more touchdowns than last year.  I know the turnovers hurt, but all you can really do is trust one of the best QB’s in the Nation to lead the offense down the field.  Also, it is just a matter of time until Crowell starts breaking them off:  30+ yards TD runs.  He was super close last week and honestly, with that much talent and the amount of carries he has been getting, you shouldn’t be surprised.  UGA’s offense is much better than UT’s defense.  Scores SHOULD come often.

Defense, well, here is the biggest key lies.  Yes, they have been playing lights out the past tow weeks, but the threat level midnight of this UT offense is much greater with Bray and Da’Rick than what the dawgs have faced since Boise.  With that being said, the defense has been tested and has so far come away much improved, disciplined, and more solid from last year.  Grantham has been getting pressure without having to dial-up exotic blitzes which has left our secondary to really cover without being undermanned. Washington being out does hurt.  But hey, when a door closes….welcome to the show, Ray Drew.  I really can’t say enough about the improved secondary play and I’m really interested to see how Commings, Boykin, Rambo, Smith, and Williams do against Tennessee’s all-world mildly overrated receiving corps.  If they can cover well, get a couple of early picks, count this game up to a circa 2005 style beat-down.  If not, I hope the offense can play enough mistake-free ball to put it away.

Special Teams:  Yeah, Walsh (again) still seems to have the shanks, but I’ll bet he might have received some tips from ol’ Kevin Butler.  Let’s see if he can pull out of it.  Speaking of Kevin, his son continues to punt with great effectiveness and it will be called upon again this game to continue.  One more thing: Boykin is due.  He has been several shoe string tackles away from breaking several.  Here’s to the hope that they kick it to him.

Ok, now it’s time to go play in the ball pit!”

Inspector G: “Well at least I didn’t have to remind you about what this interview was about this time.”

Keyes: “Ok, who farted? Was it you?”

*Note:   My one wish in the game (besides a victory) is to see Da’rick Rogers come over on a crossing route, catch it, be devastatingly hit by Rambo to which the ball comes loose, and Sanders Commings picking it into that checked bullshit end-zone.

-Inspector G

‘Keyes’ To The Game: Bulldawgs vs. Fake Bulldogs Edition

Lou Holtz, You There? Quit spitting on me and donate to my campaign!

Who’s the man with the master plan?  Alan…..Keyes!   Who’s the man who will say you can (even if you can’t)?  Alan…..Keyes!  Who’s the man that takes too much time on Hardball with Chris Matthews to fully answer a question leading Chris to swap it back over to Harry Bellafonte?  Alan…..Keyes!  Here he is ladies and gentlemen!  The legend, the myth, the greatest  non Senator that ever lived!  The 1998 Junior Leader’s Of America Sponsor Winner of the Annual Meeting Hotdog Eating Contest and Tire Roll, our friend, Mr. Alan ‘Don’t Call Me Babydoll’ Keyes!!!

Inspector G: You’re late

Keyes: It’s a relative term.

Inspector G: I’ve been waiting in front of this Build-a-Bear for 2 hours.  I’ve seen more spoiled kids and MILFs than Tom Brady in his child’s car pool. You need to start requesting more normal meeting places.

Keyes: You don’t talk to the talent that way.  You know, Obama talked to me like that and you know what happened to him…

Inspector G: Yeah, he beat you.  He also became President, a pretty crappy one, but nevertheless.

Keyes: Well, we need a new contract with America.  More jobs, less taxes, you know….progress.  I’ve laid out this 43 step plan to reduce the deficit…

Inspector G:  For God’s sake, on with it!

Keyes:  I tell you.  Was I right about everything but the score last week, or was I right?  I WAS RIGHT.  Almost spot on.  This week is a little more puzzling.  A little more complex, if you will.  On one hand, UGA has better talent.  One the other, that hasn’t always worked out for the Dawgs.  I have 3 keys for the dawgs: Short Passing game to lure in a big play, keep Relf in the pocket and let him throw (no cheap first downs), and improve on special teams.

La Tech shredded…I mean absolutely shredded Miss St with the short passing game by a quarterback who can’t even vote for me (he really was 17).  You know the Miss St Fake Bulldogs D wont allow that for long here and will be forced to ‘cheat up’ and abandon the zone with a variation of a zone/man/robber allowing a one-on-one matchup with King or Mitchell and if Murray can land the pass….oh baby!  The running game should do well and I expect Crowell to finally have that brutal cut to send him on a 40 plus yard TD run.  I also like the backs getting some passes thrown out of the backfield.  This has been money all year, keep using it.  And if UGA doesn’t involve the TEs, it will be a tough one tomorrow.

Relf has not been a world beater better than subpar in the passing game all year.  As a result, if we can contain him in the pocket, make correct reads in the option, I see a couple of picks, a sack or two, and a lot of 3rd and longs.  If not, this could be a long day.  Mullen has been kinda pissed with his O’s performance and has probably cooked up what he belives is a fine crawfish dinner, but so has Grantham.  I’m actually really excited about that mind match-up.

Special teams: Let’s just hope Walsh got laid this week.

That’s it.

Inspector G: That’s it?

Keyes: Yep, I wanna go make a Build-a-bear.

Inspector G:  OK, well GO Dawgs!

-Inspector G

‘Keyes’ to the Game…Ole Miss Rebel Bear/Hottie Totti Edition

Again brought to you by none other than the man himself, no 62 In the East Illinois State Fighting June Bugs circa 1968 program and no 1 in your hearts, the savior of brothers in conservative altruism…without further adieu: Mr. Alan Keyes!

"The Hot-Seat Bowl? What, is Obama gonna be there?"

 

Inspector G: So welcome back, Alan…

Keyes: Good to be here, Inspector….good to be here…I tell ya what.  This crank Obama.  He is seriously using bridges for props now?  Shovel Ready?  What does that even mean?  I know that…

Inspector G:  Sir, you do realize this is a Sports site, right?

Keyes:  Of course I do.  Who do you think I am?  Anthony Weiner?  Some pale faced fool without the chops?

Inspector G:  No sir.  Just give me your ‘keyes’ to the game so I can get the hell out of this Chinese Buffet.  I find it rather appauling you insisted on meeting here.

Keyes: Look, this Moo Goo Gai Pan is the shiat.  Hold on a sec…waiter!  (Snaps fingers)   Waiter?! (shakes empty glass with ice and a young man of oriental descent approaches).  Look here, (while doing some weird hand motions and speaking to the waiter in a typical American assholish manner) Youuu make meee crab rangooonsss?  (The waiter simply answers, with no accent, ‘Sure.  I’ll be right back.)  Hmm..that guy apparently spoke engrish….hahaha.

Anyways Inspector, I’ll get to the point.  This Georgia team has been a confusing one to say the least.  We have that debacle in the Dome.  Then turn around and have a good showing against a very legit South Carolina team.  It could’ve been great but we couldn’t take care of the ball.  I honestly see a lot of promise in this team.  I wont go on record to say they will be world beaters by the end of the season, but they might.  This game really shouldn’t tell us too much overall (unless they lose).  I’m kinda expecting a blowout, actually.

Here’s how they’ll do it: A very balanced attack on offense.  I know that is kind of cliche when speaking of the offense lately, but I really feel that this will be one of those game where we will have 240 passing yards 200 rushing yards and score 42-48 points.  I see Crowell getting the call for the corner several times early and if we can just slow down their OLB’s he should be off to the races.  I can also see Murray letting it rip.  He’s been above average this year, but not stellar.  I think this game is primed for him to become that QB we all wanted to see.

Look, Ole Miss Rebel Hottie Bear Admiral Ackbars took one in the mouth last week against Vandy.  They may be playing for the Nuttsters job, but whose to say the underclassmen even want him there anymore.  He’s like Les Miles Lite: All the calories, half the flavor.  I think this team is fragile and on the brink.  This is quite an advantage for the dawgs in my opinion and I think they are just the team to push them off the ledge.

For the defense I anticipate another above average game.  Maybe a turnover mid-way through, but I don’t see the defense pick 6-ing like Vandy did.  Why you ask?  Because poor QB play for the opposing team doesn’t seem to ever be the norm for UGA since Reggie Ball left Tech.  I see very strong showings on third downs, as has been the case all year.  But where I’m prediciting something new is in the sack department.  This Quarterback Ole Miss has is screwed up mind fucked after last weeks debacle.  After throwing so many picks last week, he will be uber prone to hold hold hold onto the ball versus throwing it into the grasp of our safeties.  I predict 6 sacks for the game a la a corner blitz, jones blitz, and John Jenkins bone crusher bullrush.

So there ya go.

Inspector G:  Well, thanks Alan.  That was great.  Appreciate you taking the…

Keyes: Now for something super special: my talking points for meet the press tonight…

Inspector G: OK, cut.

-Inspector G

‘Keyes’ to the game…

Run that I, You'll Be FINE!

…brought to you today by none other than Alan Keyes.  The failed Republican Senate candidate that ran against Premier Obama in the 2004 Illinois Senate election. He was also featured in the smash vom-in-your-mouth hit, “Borat” (but I couldn’t find the clip…shit).  Here are his keyes (if you will) to the game Saturday against the Cocks.

Inspector G: “Alan, thanks for being here.”

Keyes: “Glad to be here…uh…Inspector G is it?”

Inspector G: “Yes it is.  These are prepared questions, so I hope you answered them.”

Keyes: “Oh yeah, I answered them, better than Obama answered his birthing issue.  Or better than he answers teapartiers at townhall meetings.  Or better than he can answer the question about reducing our debt. Or better than…”

Inspector G: “Please, get on with the questions…ok, great, thanks.”

Keyes: “Well, I will give you three keys to the Dawgs winning the game for offense and defense.  Let’s start first with the defense.  First off, we need a strong fiscal front.  I would imagine that the ‘Cocks…hehe I said Cocks…would come out and try to exploit some underneath screens and crossing patterns over the middle much like the Boise St offense did last week.  Although with a running back like Lattimore, I imagine the Visor will think about doing that, but won’t go to that look until UGA has proven they can stop first, Lattimore, and second get pressure on Ashton Kutcher Garcia.  Once the dawgs do so (and I think they will and probably cause at least one turnover) I see the Visor going to that underneath stuff.  The question will be then is whether Grantham will put the D in a Nickel or Dime to stop it.  Since we will not be out of our base 3-4 as much this week I think he will.  I don’t know if Rambo’s return will mean a much better secondary, but who knows.  I’ve been wrong before (see my Senate Campaign circa 2004)”

Inspector G: “That’s a pretty solid report on the D, Alan.  I’m impressed.”

Keyes: “(in a STERN almost offended voice, yet quickly delivered) Why of course it was! This isn’t amateur hour! Now for the offense.  I’m not sure what our destination was, but I look at part of this offense like Obama’s campaign slogan “Change You Can Believe In”.  Keep that change.  Although, Inspector G, I know we differ on part of the offense. You liked the no huddle idea.  I don’t I would like to see them huddle, get their bearings, and then fire away.  They took 78% of the snaps out of the shotgun and the run game was worse than an all-night coke-fest jam binger with Pelosi and Barbara Boxer with no rubbers. Hehe. Seriously, the I is a lost art and that is why the Dawgs have been so successful in this formation.  Also, I want to tell Bobo to attack what the defense gives you.  If they blitz their ass off, run a screen and make them pay.  If their corners bail on every pass play, run something in the middle underneath, or a seamer.  Look, if you breakdown the Boise game, each time UGA said, “Look her meow, I’m gonna match up one and one and tell you to beat me.” they scored a TD.  Simple as that.  Also, those receivers have to catch the ball.  No excuses for dropped passes.  Speaking of recievers, Orson Charles really shouldn’t leave the field. What did he have over 100 yards and a touchdown or two?”

Inspector G: “Actually it was 109 yards and one touchdown”

Keyes: “Whatever.  Also, I would like to see Boykin and Smith take some snaps, just to see what happens.  Fastest players, most explosive players, touching the football=good idea.  Raising taxes, not cutting spending, masking additional “stimulus” to the tune of 450,000,000,000 (yep, that’s BILLION) by stating it is ‘job creation money’ = bad idea.  You know, back when I was running for…”

Inspector G: “Ok, that’s all the time we have.  Thanks Alan. We’ll see you next week…maybe.”

He’s taller in person.

-Inspector G

The Most Honest UGA Preview in The World: Offense Edition

Received several requests on Twitter (@REALInspectorG) and abroad to do a season preview about what I thought about the season and the first game.  Get ready for some honest homerism.

OFFENSE:
I look around this unit and I see two things: Loads of Talent and Very Little Depth.  On the plus side, Crowell seems to be as advertised. Murray may be the next Heisman to wear the red and black.  Ben Jones eats grass and 1 techniques for brunch.  From all of the reports I have read and heard (and trust me, I’ve looked at more than my fair share) that our core looks good.  I’m hearing Samuel can still tote the rock.  I’ve been told that the receivers have been stepping up, especially Marlon Brown.  This scares me.  Why?  Because this is the same type of happy talk we hear every year and the average Chinese Buffet frequenting Georgia fan is main-lining it like fresh cut heroin.  I’ll be skeptical on this unit as a whole until we put up 40+ on Boise and the ‘Cocks.  I mean c’mon, I’ve been hearing about how awesome Marlon Brown is for the past two seasons and the only thing he’s been good for is giving humorous facebook status updates about slaying white girls.  Don’t believe me? Go ‘friend’ him.  I look at Murray, Charles, King, and the O-line and I feel like we can be efficient enough to keep us in every game, but unless all this ‘happy talk’ translates on the field, we won’t be world beaters this year.  However, if these guys do step up and start producing on a high level (damn, I sound like a coach) the big O could be scary.  I think Aaron Murray is the best QB in the SEC and if he can have some things fall his way, he may be considered one of the top 3 in the nation by the time this season ends.

QUICK HITTERS:

Best Players/Impacts (in order of importance)
Aaron Murray- Absolute film rat, prepares better than probably every QB in the nation save Kellen Moore, will throw 27 TD’s run for 6 more, will still make more plays with his feet than our fan base will admit and Richt wants.

Ben Jones – ranked 1 or 2 best center (depending on what publication you read), was named the all out leader of the team by Murray and others (as reported by Radi Nabulsi), anchors the 2nd best o-line in the SEC should they all stay healthy.

Orson Charles: I would put him at no 2 but my lineman background wont let me, best TE in the nation, best TE in the nation, best TE in the nation, look for him to be flexed out in space 30-40% of the time as a full-time receiver.

MOST INTERESTED IN SEEING:
Richard Samuel: Why not Crowell?, because I honestly think he will do fine, but so much depends on Samuel from leadership, to blocking assignments, to actually toting the rock.  UGA’s best running game in the past decade was a 2-headed monster featuring Thomas Brown and Knowshon Moreno.  Moreno carried it more, but Brown laid the hammer down.  I think these two need each other to be more than just ‘good’.

PLAYER THAT WILL BE A HOUSEHOLD NAME BY THE END OF THE YEAR
Malcome Mitchell.  Just wait.

-Inspector G

Afterburner, Kentucky Edition

First things first, let me start by saying that the game was not even close and the score doesn’t reflect the complete and utter demolition of Kentucky on both sides of the ball. Now, those two late TD’s that UK got were absolute garbage and still shows me that our defense is still not there yet…but, they are still BETTER.

From the opening kickoff, to the 3 Justin Houston sacks, to Ealey’s 5 (COUNT THEM 5!) TD’s the Dawgs showed why the Ol’ Ball Coach says we’re playing the best ball in the conference right now. I hate that man, but I listen when he speaks.

Here we go, Helmet Bones and Grades:

Offense: Kept it out of reach from the start, we ran the ball well, DOMINATED the line of scrimmage (finally) and Murray plays another solid game with no INTs. On those goal line plays, we literally were blocking their DL’s out of the endzone. I would like to see the tight ends get involved more, but I can’t complain to much with any victory we get, but to continue to get them, the tight ends are too good to just let them block.

Grade A

Helmet Bone goes to Washaun Ealey. Again, 5 TD’s no fumbles, no further explanation necessary.

Defense: Had we not let up and allowed the Cats to score those last two garbage TD’s I would have given a higher grade, but then on the other hand Justin Houston was raping errrbody named Hartline, so it was a tough call. We are almost there now and I can at least say that we are much improved than a year ago and Alec Ogletree will be an absolute man-child in the near future.

Grade B+

Helmet Bone goes to Justin “Raping Errbody named Hartline” Houston. 3 sacks, 3 tackles for loss, absolutely a game changer.

Special Teams: Blair Walsh must have had a stomach flu, or found out he got hepatitis because nothing else explains him missing that field goal and PAT…hopefully whatever it is he can meditate enough to cure it. He lost the Groza last night.

But that was the only thing not ‘special’ about our special teams. As they kicked off to Boykin, I looked over at my father and said “Yeah, kick it to Boykin, he’s due” 8 seconds later he was in the endzone and I looked like Edgar Casey (famed psychic). Drew Butler punished the football like it was his bitch and kickoff coverage continues to be stellar.

Grade A

Helmet Bone goes to Brandon Boykin, and he is arguably the greatest kickoff returner in SEC history.

Coaching: As much as I’m sure some of you hate for me to say this, I’m still going to do it: We have a great coaching staff. Sure, Bobo looks hapless sometimes, but he didn’t have to do much last night because we were running the ball so well. Grantham finally has his defense clicking and it shows. Richt looks more fired up, more passionate, and under control.

Grade B+ because we still took one half of a year to get our shit together.

Helmet Bone goes to Warren Belin. He has his LB’s on a great track for success, is a smart coach, and is the reason why are special teams have improved so much on kick coverage.

So there you go. Sorry about the lack of posts this week, Captain and I are very busy this time of year and when you’re in the male escort business, you got to take it when and how you can.

Later in the week I will bombard you with info, quips, a funny video, and some more thoughts to ponder….IT’S FLORIDA WEEK!!!

– Inspector G

The SEC’s Tummy is Rumbling…Will UGA Feed it?

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we are back in the hunt.  Granted, we have to keep winning a couple of strategic losses have to help us along the way, but we are in the mix in the East, at least. After the Colorado game, if you would have told me this was even a scenario, I would have called you crazier than giving inmates power tools, but here we are.

Most of this is due to the stellar play of my new Man-Crush Aaron Murray.  I can’t believe that a Freshman is this polished, this poised, and that athletic.  Furthermore, a mere 6 months ago, I was clamoring for Mettenberger, I’m glad we’ve got Murray.  He is ranked 19th in the nation in passer rating, 3rd in the SEC in passing, and likes country music.  Might I add he is the only Freshman in those regards.

A few thoughts from Saturday:
Defense looked good.  Yes, I know Vandy dropped some passes but minus the one in the flats that would/might have gone for a long gain, they were pretty insignificant.  The play was consistent, but there were different starters.  Number one, Christian Robinson might winding up to be one of the better linebackers we have seen in forever.  The kid is instinctive, smart, quick, huge, and hell, gives a good well pronunciated interview.  Also I think Cummings and Boykin will see the starting corner roles for the rest of the year.  Watching Cummings climb the ladder for th INT was B-A-UTIFUL!

Offense looked like they finally had their shit together.  Bobo seemed to know when and when not to use Thomas, Ealey ran well, but far and away the OL finally delivered a dominating game.  Good for them, golly it only took firing a senior and starting a freshman to do it, but at least it is an open competition.  Give props to Searels. Murray was on point and honestly, watching how much respect defenses pay towards AJ this year is almost baffling…almost.

Right now I hope that the team is focused on Kentucky and Kentucky only.  We control our own destiny for the most part and can;t even get close to that unless we win on Saturday, which is no easy task.

A few keys to the game.
No 1) Run the F-ing Football!  Richt is like 67-9 when our one running back clears 100 yards.

No 2) We must block.  Kentucky gives up more red-zone TD’s than anyone in the SEC, but you still have to give Murray time and Ealey/Thomas holes.

No 3) Make returns count.  We have been excellent on kickoffs and punts, but our returns are more like pedestrians crossing the road.  A few flops in field position will not only lead to more points, but kentucky looks like this when opponents get on their side of the field:

So we should have a rape fest.

No 4) Keep our TOP up.

No 5) Knock Randall Cobb’s lights out.  I want him wishing he never put on the UK jersey Saturday night, which leads me to my fianl point…

No 6) Alec Ogletree, welcome to the show.  Now, make No 5 come true.

And for all of you pro-visually stimulated learners, this video represents exactly what we need to do:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYKH5S93hT0

Go in there, don’t take any shiot at first, or ever.  Take random things from them.  Always relentlessly push forward.  Look scary as hell. Pull out moves they’ve never seen. And be big and bad enough to execute them, even if they have seen them.

Now gentlemen, go Techno Viking their ass!

GATA

-Inspector G

Caleb King gets the Death Penalty…Sort of…

So it’s no front page news now that Caleb King has been giving a 2 game suspension for some bullshit lapse of judgement.

I agree with the penalty albeit, it is pretty harsh for failing to appear for a traffic ticket.  What I don’t understand is how easy it has seemed for the Bulldawg Nation to get so down on this kid.  Wow, speeding ticket.  He forgot to pay.  He is a kid, kids forget. An estimated 235,000 Americans get arrested over the same lapse in judgement anually.

Paul Westerdawg, over at The Georgia Sports Blog said it best, I think (and I’m jealous he wrote this before I did):

“Eleven arrest this season is complete and total non-sense.  I recognize that there’s a MASSIVE disconnect (as Blutarsky called it) between the UGA Administration and the surrounding police force for this to be an issue with Caleb.  I also recognize that at many other schools this never results in an arrest. But it doesn’t matter.  Eleven arrests is eleven arrests.  And it’s not all paperwork and boys will be boys stuff.

It’s already hurting us with recruiting as Bama is using our arrest problem to help sway Crowell.  And that’s why I care the most.

I also care because I think it speaks to the leadership of the program at the player level.  The team needs a gigantic kick in the ass, and it has needed one for a long time.  At some point, that kick in the ass has to come from a guy like Shockley, Pollack, Greene, Gilbert, etc.  There’s a black hole in terms of leadership within the team that’s existed since the 2007 season ended.

Don’t think so?  We were in a four game losing streak without a players only meeting being called. That’s incomprehensible to me. As a point of comparison, LSU was 5-0 and had a players only meeting after almost losing a game.

Teams with great leaders have fewer off the field problems, and they win more on the field.

Until our Mark Richt and our Strength and Conditioning program get back into the business of producing real leaders, I don’t expect that our on the field discipline or our arrest record will improve.  And yes…that’s what the S&C program used to brag about the most. Not the size of our players or fictitious 40 times, but the program’s ability to develop true leadership.”

I, for one, do not think this is a big deal and have the team not had 11 prior arrests, this would be a non-issue.  Keep your head up Caleb, and see ya in two weeks.

Welcome to the show Boo Malcome!!!  I am excitied to see what this guy can do.  He is running (pun INTENDED) about 6′-2″, 220 lbs, around a 4.5-4.6 40 time.  Not a speed demon, but his size and power were renown on the field and that is why he is on scholarship.

I know a lot  pundits want to classify ‘change of pace’ backs as little, scat back, open field types.  Well if the NFL with John Kuhn and more so Peyton Hillis have shown larger, pounding, athletic backs can get it done and ‘change the pace’, too.  Except this ‘change of pace’ normally occurs between the tackles and results in knocking the hell and bowling over some folks.  That’s running with purpose, and since we haven’t been able to run between the tackles well all season, who knows?  Maybe Malcome is ready to unleash a little.

Some Pics and videos of Malcome:

– Inspector G