What are our Chances?

‘Keyes’ to the game…

Run that I, You'll Be FINE!

…brought to you today by none other than Alan Keyes.  The failed Republican Senate candidate that ran against Premier Obama in the 2004 Illinois Senate election. He was also featured in the smash vom-in-your-mouth hit, “Borat” (but I couldn’t find the clip…shit).  Here are his keyes (if you will) to the game Saturday against the Cocks.

Inspector G: “Alan, thanks for being here.”

Keyes: “Glad to be here…uh…Inspector G is it?”

Inspector G: “Yes it is.  These are prepared questions, so I hope you answered them.”

Keyes: “Oh yeah, I answered them, better than Obama answered his birthing issue.  Or better than he answers teapartiers at townhall meetings.  Or better than he can answer the question about reducing our debt. Or better than…”

Inspector G: “Please, get on with the questions…ok, great, thanks.”

Keyes: “Well, I will give you three keys to the Dawgs winning the game for offense and defense.  Let’s start first with the defense.  First off, we need a strong fiscal front.  I would imagine that the ‘Cocks…hehe I said Cocks…would come out and try to exploit some underneath screens and crossing patterns over the middle much like the Boise St offense did last week.  Although with a running back like Lattimore, I imagine the Visor will think about doing that, but won’t go to that look until UGA has proven they can stop first, Lattimore, and second get pressure on Ashton Kutcher Garcia.  Once the dawgs do so (and I think they will and probably cause at least one turnover) I see the Visor going to that underneath stuff.  The question will be then is whether Grantham will put the D in a Nickel or Dime to stop it.  Since we will not be out of our base 3-4 as much this week I think he will.  I don’t know if Rambo’s return will mean a much better secondary, but who knows.  I’ve been wrong before (see my Senate Campaign circa 2004)”

Inspector G: “That’s a pretty solid report on the D, Alan.  I’m impressed.”

Keyes: “(in a STERN almost offended voice, yet quickly delivered) Why of course it was! This isn’t amateur hour! Now for the offense.  I’m not sure what our destination was, but I look at part of this offense like Obama’s campaign slogan “Change You Can Believe In”.  Keep that change.  Although, Inspector G, I know we differ on part of the offense. You liked the no huddle idea.  I don’t I would like to see them huddle, get their bearings, and then fire away.  They took 78% of the snaps out of the shotgun and the run game was worse than an all-night coke-fest jam binger with Pelosi and Barbara Boxer with no rubbers. Hehe. Seriously, the I is a lost art and that is why the Dawgs have been so successful in this formation.  Also, I want to tell Bobo to attack what the defense gives you.  If they blitz their ass off, run a screen and make them pay.  If their corners bail on every pass play, run something in the middle underneath, or a seamer.  Look, if you breakdown the Boise game, each time UGA said, “Look her meow, I’m gonna match up one and one and tell you to beat me.” they scored a TD.  Simple as that.  Also, those receivers have to catch the ball.  No excuses for dropped passes.  Speaking of recievers, Orson Charles really shouldn’t leave the field. What did he have over 100 yards and a touchdown or two?”

Inspector G: “Actually it was 109 yards and one touchdown”

Keyes: “Whatever.  Also, I would like to see Boykin and Smith take some snaps, just to see what happens.  Fastest players, most explosive players, touching the football=good idea.  Raising taxes, not cutting spending, masking additional “stimulus” to the tune of 450,000,000,000 (yep, that’s BILLION) by stating it is ‘job creation money’ = bad idea.  You know, back when I was running for…”

Inspector G: “Ok, that’s all the time we have.  Thanks Alan. We’ll see you next week…maybe.”

He’s taller in person.

-Inspector G

Charlie Sheen: American Hero (and other UGA notables)

Charlie Sheen truly is an American hero.  I’ve grown up watching him and feel like he has participated in the American Experience to the best of his ability and I am glad that he is getting the amount of exposure he is lately, because I fear the coke and the excessive binges will end his life here pretty soon.


On the UGA notes:

3 topics I will tear through like a rabid tiger (if you can’t tell this will be a Charlie Sheen flavored post, then you obviously don” t know your ass from Chuck Lorre) will be: The Crowell Infraction, Aaron Murray’s rockin’ bod, and the Dawgs in the Big Dance.

Crowell Situation:

I have lost all shreds of respect for the NCAA since the Cam Gate, Ohio State Tats for Cash, and Tressell’s Messell events.  All  were high profile programs running a muck  whose punishment (if any were EVEN HANDED OUT) was the equivalent of being sent to ‘time out’.  The point that I am trying to make is that the NCAA picks and chooses what they consider ‘rules’, how they ‘enforce’ these ‘rules’ and how they ‘punish’ those that break these ‘rules’.  The Crowell situation is no different.  Here UGA goes and self-reports a minor infraction that may be a violation of the rules, loosely interpreted, and we get hit with an ineligible Crowell (which has now been reinstated) and an April-less Richt on recruiting phone calls.  What a joke.

I want to go on a serious profanity laced tirade to tell you how shitty and obtuse the NCAA is, but I’ve already done that several times, sent them several emails and letters about how I and the rest of the Nation feels about their lunacy (to which I have received no response whatsoever), and publicly scrutinize their every move.  They kind of remind me of our illustrious Government who are so disconnected and removed from the ideas and feelings of those they govern, they forget what they are there for in the first place.

Moreover, I cannot believe the punditry surrounding ‘Crowell Gate’, especially Bill King from the AJC.  This wanna be piece of shit with coke bottom glasses and equally unattractive beard feels that he is the end-all-say-all of UGA football analysis, morality, history, and mythos.  This guy couldn’t get out of a shower of shit.  Read this refuse here. Slippery Slope? How come every time we have a relatively quiet off season with nothing more than praise for good deeds (Blake Sailors is a badass). this fuck, Bill King has nothing better to do than to opine about how ‘Richt is becoming careless” and wondering “where should Richt draw the line?”.  I’ll tell you what, Bill King, you can take your UGA hat you found on the Wal-mart rack, set it on fire and let the flames take your crappy beard, too.  You couldn’t find anything else to write about?  You sir, are pathetic and I hope you read this, get upset, and quit blogging all together.  You know, I’m sure the short-lived career you have at AJC (PRINT NEWS, DUHN DUHN DUHN) will provide such a financial windfall that you can buy a new hat and some fucking contacts.


Aaron Murray’s Rockin’ Bod:

Looks like Joe T means business.  I know hype is hype, but when we have every member of the team running faster, lifting more, and gaining good weight, you really can’t argue much.  I’ll just let this pic speak for itself.

Yes, that is OUR QB!


Hoop Dawgs; The Never Ending Story that Ended

The tale of the season was summed up in a colorful yet unsatisfying manner on Friday night.  I thought we were definitiely the more talented team, but not the smartest one on the court.  It goes to show again and again how playing smart sometimes over-rules superior talent.

It would be a shocker to see Leslie or Thompkins stay, but if they do we are well poised for another tourney repeat appearance next year.  Especially with Rockdale’s finest Kevin Ware could be on his way here.

Spring Practice update later in the week.  Stay classy.

– Inspector G




The SEC’s Tummy is Rumbling…Will UGA Feed it?

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but we are back in the hunt.  Granted, we have to keep winning a couple of strategic losses have to help us along the way, but we are in the mix in the East, at least. After the Colorado game, if you would have told me this was even a scenario, I would have called you crazier than giving inmates power tools, but here we are.

Most of this is due to the stellar play of my new Man-Crush Aaron Murray.  I can’t believe that a Freshman is this polished, this poised, and that athletic.  Furthermore, a mere 6 months ago, I was clamoring for Mettenberger, I’m glad we’ve got Murray.  He is ranked 19th in the nation in passer rating, 3rd in the SEC in passing, and likes country music.  Might I add he is the only Freshman in those regards.

A few thoughts from Saturday:
Defense looked good.  Yes, I know Vandy dropped some passes but minus the one in the flats that would/might have gone for a long gain, they were pretty insignificant.  The play was consistent, but there were different starters.  Number one, Christian Robinson might winding up to be one of the better linebackers we have seen in forever.  The kid is instinctive, smart, quick, huge, and hell, gives a good well pronunciated interview.  Also I think Cummings and Boykin will see the starting corner roles for the rest of the year.  Watching Cummings climb the ladder for th INT was B-A-UTIFUL!

Offense looked like they finally had their shit together.  Bobo seemed to know when and when not to use Thomas, Ealey ran well, but far and away the OL finally delivered a dominating game.  Good for them, golly it only took firing a senior and starting a freshman to do it, but at least it is an open competition.  Give props to Searels. Murray was on point and honestly, watching how much respect defenses pay towards AJ this year is almost baffling…almost.

Right now I hope that the team is focused on Kentucky and Kentucky only.  We control our own destiny for the most part and can;t even get close to that unless we win on Saturday, which is no easy task.

A few keys to the game.
No 1) Run the F-ing Football!  Richt is like 67-9 when our one running back clears 100 yards.

No 2) We must block.  Kentucky gives up more red-zone TD’s than anyone in the SEC, but you still have to give Murray time and Ealey/Thomas holes.

No 3) Make returns count.  We have been excellent on kickoffs and punts, but our returns are more like pedestrians crossing the road.  A few flops in field position will not only lead to more points, but kentucky looks like this when opponents get on their side of the field:

So we should have a rape fest.

No 4) Keep our TOP up.

No 5) Knock Randall Cobb’s lights out.  I want him wishing he never put on the UK jersey Saturday night, which leads me to my fianl point…

No 6) Alec Ogletree, welcome to the show.  Now, make No 5 come true.

And for all of you pro-visually stimulated learners, this video represents exactly what we need to do:


Go in there, don’t take any shiot at first, or ever.  Take random things from them.  Always relentlessly push forward.  Look scary as hell. Pull out moves they’ve never seen. And be big and bad enough to execute them, even if they have seen them.

Now gentlemen, go Techno Viking their ass!


-Inspector G

Caleb King gets the Death Penalty…Sort of…

So it’s no front page news now that Caleb King has been giving a 2 game suspension for some bullshit lapse of judgement.

I agree with the penalty albeit, it is pretty harsh for failing to appear for a traffic ticket.  What I don’t understand is how easy it has seemed for the Bulldawg Nation to get so down on this kid.  Wow, speeding ticket.  He forgot to pay.  He is a kid, kids forget. An estimated 235,000 Americans get arrested over the same lapse in judgement anually.

Paul Westerdawg, over at The Georgia Sports Blog said it best, I think (and I’m jealous he wrote this before I did):

“Eleven arrest this season is complete and total non-sense.  I recognize that there’s a MASSIVE disconnect (as Blutarsky called it) between the UGA Administration and the surrounding police force for this to be an issue with Caleb.  I also recognize that at many other schools this never results in an arrest. But it doesn’t matter.  Eleven arrests is eleven arrests.  And it’s not all paperwork and boys will be boys stuff.

It’s already hurting us with recruiting as Bama is using our arrest problem to help sway Crowell.  And that’s why I care the most.

I also care because I think it speaks to the leadership of the program at the player level.  The team needs a gigantic kick in the ass, and it has needed one for a long time.  At some point, that kick in the ass has to come from a guy like Shockley, Pollack, Greene, Gilbert, etc.  There’s a black hole in terms of leadership within the team that’s existed since the 2007 season ended.

Don’t think so?  We were in a four game losing streak without a players only meeting being called. That’s incomprehensible to me. As a point of comparison, LSU was 5-0 and had a players only meeting after almost losing a game.

Teams with great leaders have fewer off the field problems, and they win more on the field.

Until our Mark Richt and our Strength and Conditioning program get back into the business of producing real leaders, I don’t expect that our on the field discipline or our arrest record will improve.  And yes…that’s what the S&C program used to brag about the most. Not the size of our players or fictitious 40 times, but the program’s ability to develop true leadership.”

I, for one, do not think this is a big deal and have the team not had 11 prior arrests, this would be a non-issue.  Keep your head up Caleb, and see ya in two weeks.

Welcome to the show Boo Malcome!!!  I am excitied to see what this guy can do.  He is running (pun INTENDED) about 6′-2″, 220 lbs, around a 4.5-4.6 40 time.  Not a speed demon, but his size and power were renown on the field and that is why he is on scholarship.

I know a lot  pundits want to classify ‘change of pace’ backs as little, scat back, open field types.  Well if the NFL with John Kuhn and more so Peyton Hillis have shown larger, pounding, athletic backs can get it done and ‘change the pace’, too.  Except this ‘change of pace’ normally occurs between the tackles and results in knocking the hell and bowling over some folks.  That’s running with purpose, and since we haven’t been able to run between the tackles well all season, who knows?  Maybe Malcome is ready to unleash a little.

Some Pics and videos of Malcome:

– Inspector G

Well, at least someone on the team is pissed off…

From Seth Emerson’s Georgia Beat Blog:

“We’re pissed off,” Charles said Wednesday. “That’s our thing right now. We’re pissed off right now. We’re 1-4. We’ve got a lot of fans saying this, a lot of fans saying that. And I mean, we just want to make everybody happy. We want to be happy.

“We’re tired of walking around the locker room, quiet, coaches yelling at us all the time for no reason, because we’re losing. So we’re just going out there and to get our respect back. We’re pissed off right now.”

And just to be clear:

“I’m speaking for everyone at Georgia,” Charles said.

There hasn’t been a singular fiery speech by one player, the tight end added, because everyone feels the same way.

“We can’t change the past,” Charles said. “We’ve gotta move forward. The main thing is we’ve gotta stick together.”

Charles said he has also detected a difference in head coach Mark Richt, who on Wednesday night had to answer a question of whether he was fighting for his job. Publicly, Richt has remained rather even-keel, but in practice it’s apparently been a different story.

“I noticed he was kind of hyped when it came down on Monday, and everybody started hitting,” Charles said. “He was a little jumpy. We started getting hyped. And coach was in it. That was what we really needed.”

Richt called a full-pads practice on Monday, the first time he had done so two days after a game in his 10 years at Georgia. Charles said the players approved.

“I felt like we needed it,” Charles said. “Like coach Richt said, camp was a little lighter than usual. To tell the truth, it put a lot of energy around the locker room. Everybody was ready to go. Everybody when in the training room and got taped. So you knew everyone was really excited.”

So people felt like it was about time, and that it was needed?

“Oh yeah,” Charles said. “Oh yeah.”

I don’t know if this is a clear sign that the players are feeling pressure, too.  But I hope so.  Like the old saying: ‘If life hands you a crap filled sandwich…”  Hopefully they are all fed up with this nonsense and will come out cranked up and hopefully find some leadership…

On a personal note, I really think this is gutsy as hell for Orson to say.  And he should be pissed, as few times as he has been targeted this year.  This is the kinda stuff that will help the team.  Sorry Richt, praying won’t help right the ship, God could give 3 lesser craps about if we win/lose/draw.  Maybe a few cuss words in the locker room would help, too.

-Inspector G

…How I Feel…Part 2 of 2

So here we are, on the verge of another potential debacle of epic proportions.  Here we are in the face of adversity, thousands of miles from anything that looks “Georgia”.  I’m scared.  No, seriously.  This game scares me because if we win then it’s, “Well, we should’ve won, that doesn’t mean anything.” and if we lose the sky, literally,  has fallen.

Here we go:

Coaches: I don’t know if personalities are clashing, some reports say they are, especially on the offensive side.  But anytime you lose like this, things are not “hunky dory” down on the farm.  But ultimately the buck stops with Richt.  If you get paid multi-millions per year, you are responsible for every part of the program win, lose, or draw.  It IS his responsibility to make sure that he hires, manages, and supports his coaches.  Leadership needs to come from him.  If he hasn’t already, he needs to get in some folk’s faces.  I would say something else, but alas, I am updating this before I start work.  This cohesion problem will not fix itself.  He has to fix it. 

Play calling:  It’s easy to second guess Bobo when we lose.  It’s as equally as easy to cheer him when we win.  But I think the SEC’s returning  “most efficient” play caller deserves at least a couple games with AJ Green to see what he can do.  Look folks, I’m not agreeing with his play calling all of the time, especially when it is 2nd and long and we are running Carlton Thomas up the middle, but look at it this way: If I would’ve have told you UGA would have been 11 of 12 in the Conference in rushing before the season started, what would you have said?  I would have said 1-3.  Our o line’s ineptness and running backs have been so pedestrian, I swear I’m watching a bad Miramax film.

When you plan all offseason, all camp for a run dominated, play-action passing attack WITH Aj Green and what you get is a pass dominated offense with protection problems where the team’s leading rusher fumbles twice on the goal line, things are VASTLY INSANELY different.  Not that that is an excuse as to why we continue to run that scheme, but an explanation as to what is going on.

Fix this by letting Murray do what he does.  I featured this approach during my “Keys to the Game” last week against MSU.  Did it happen?  No.  Was I right, ALWAYS! *Wink*  And I hate to say it, but it is time to go to a spread-style passing attack, utilizing our receiving weapons, slip screens, slants, deep outs, draws, quick options, option gives, etc.  We are apparently are not going to be a power running team like we have been for several years, so it is time to adapt.  If Bobo continues to ignore this and does not adapt, we will continue to lose and he will have probably cost himself his job, but let me be clear.  As of now I AM NOT ON THE ‘FIRE BOB’ WAGON.

Execution:  Bottom line, players need to step up, execute, buy in to what the coaches are doing, and have some one LEAD.  Like Richt told them earlier int he week, “This will not stay the same.  Either you it will get better, or it will get worse.”  A large part of what route we go on today comes from the players. 

Perception: The only way our perception improves is if we come out, smack the Buffs right in the mouth, hold them without a touchdown and hang 35 in the first half. And if that happens, Richt doesn’t need to let off of the gas until we have hung 50+.  That will at least boost morale and give the coaches and players some much needed relief from this slump.

There is no panacea for a 1-3 start.  This is no ‘miracle’ season on the horizon, but this is Georgia.  If I hear one more time, “you know, I really don’t see what these kids have to play for”  who knows what I’ll do. I don’t know what my evil side can manifest, but the world might get a pretty good glimpse.

At this point, we have nothing left to lose.  It is time to let it all hang out and see how we respond.  It couldn’t get much worse at this point, unless that is we send Carlton Thomas up the middle on second and long with the game on the line… 

In summation, let it all “air” out.  Go nuts.  Hit somebody.  Coaches, adapt to what you’ve been dealt. 

Go Dawgs!

Fleeting Thought: If Bobo’s playcalling is so bad, why hasn’t Shockley, Stafford, or Cox ever opened up and said as much?  They could’ve.  Maybe it was to help the program and not throw them under the bus…but if I’m worth 72 million (and I’m talking about Stafford here), I wouldn’t care all that much if he wasn’t good.  Also, why did Detroit Lions’ head coach Jim Schwartz say that Stafford was one of the most prepared QB rookies he has ever seen???  I’m not defending, criticising, etc, just some food for thought.

Go Dawgs!

-Inspector G

Keys to the Game: Georgia Offense vs. Miss St Defense

As I’m sure you have heard by now: we are getting tired of Aaron Murray.  According to many of you, this kid is the second coming of Corey Phillips, but with slightly worse decision making abilities.  In fact, if I had to choose a QB to start for UGA he would have these stats:

605 total passing yards, a 62.2 completion percentage, 4 TD’s to 2 INT, a passer rating of 143.27, with 2 additional TDs on the ground.  In short, fourth best in passing in the SEC….

Oh wait….THAT IS AARON MURRAY.  This kid is a stud, our present, our past, and certainly our future.  This is the “big play guy” we’ve waited for at QB.  And if you don’t think he should start at QB, well we think you should go play in traffic. Which brings to my first bullet point:

Let him loose! Aaron Murray has grown up before our eyes and has become our biggest weapon and poses the biggest threat to MSU’s defense.  His intangibles matched with his arm strength (as long as he is protected…see bullet point no 2) should wreak havoc on MSU’s secondary, which for lack of a better word, is less than stellar.   Murray is ready to hold the reigns and if Bobo allows him to, this might be the coming out party for Murray.  I hope he sent me an invitation…

Protect the kid! The OL has been a sore subject for many fans, pundits, and even our own coaches.  Why can’t they become one unit, one dominating baby eating, soul splitting unit?  Answer: I don’t know.  Obviously talent is there.  Maybe it is an attitude laden ‘better than you’ party that has manifested itself into a bunch of question marks and excuses…maybe.  Or maybe they just don’t have their shit together yet.  Well news flash: time to get your shit together.  Hopefully the sting of defeat, vocal doubt, and fan angst will light the “proverbial” fire under there asses to perform at the highest level.  Or, literally Searels needs to gather some kindling, some lighter fluid and actually light a fire under their asses.  I look for a much improved performance on Saturday.  If not, we are in for a long day and so is Murray.  On another note, if I see Ealey employ his half-ass, patented “drop to the knees, maybe he’ll trip” blocking scheme this week, BMac should bench him indefinitely.  King being back in the line up should help as well.  He is one of the better blocking TB’s we have had in a while.

Involve the tight ends! If you told me that three games in that our tight ends would have had such a non-impact on our offense, I would have told you that you were crazier than Monte Kiffin’s birth control methods.  In fact, we have such pathetic total receptions from our tight ends, I don’t even want to mention it BUT IT RHYMES WITH 5 (and f-ing pathetic).  A. White and Charles are two of the better tight ends in the nation, period.  Find a way to use them, especially if Manny Diaz (MSU D Coordinator, and a good one at that) decides to cover them with a steady dose of LBs.   Look to Charles spreading out in the slot, he’s plenty athletic enough to make an impact there.

Get Branden Smith his touches!  Who loves listening to TI, is arguably the fastest player in the SEC, and just came back from injury?  Yep, Branden Smith.  Split end, TB, Wild Dawg, doesn’t matter.  All it takes is one mistake, one over pursuing end or linebacker, and it’s all over but watching No 1’s backside trek into the endzone.  10-12 touches minimum.   All it takes is one play.

Of course, there are many other ‘musts’ I could list here, but the post would become a blabbering  tirade (if it’s not already…haha).

I will leave you with MSU’s stud on defense: Defensive end, Pernell McPhee.  He has been very quiet the first three games.  Don’t let him make noise now.  He is all SEC  and hopefully will look more like all ACC  today.  MSU Defense has 4 total sacks on the year, but don’t let that fool you.  Against Auburn and LSU, they saw two very mobile QB’s who rolled out of the pocket almost every play.  MSU’s defensive line is good.  Not great (but neither were Arky’s).  If we can keep them at bay, we should be golden.


With a few razzle-dazzle, ‘I can’t believe it’  plays out of left field, I have pretty good feeling that we will become more cohesive and efficient as an offense.  We score early and often, taking the crowd out of the game, using the latter part of the second half to let Carlton Thomas to carry the load.

UGA 31 – Fake Bulldogs 10       We Suck…


Go Dawgs!!!!


Injury Report…

As most of you know, we are dinged up a little this week. Branden Smith, Shaun Chapas, Chris Davis are either doubtful or will not play. And of course, there is AJ….wtf? I’m still not over that yet.

Impact: Let me try to put this into words where everyone will understand: Chapas gets my nod for the best all around fullback UGA has had in the Richt era. Does that effect your offensive production, protection, and the bottom line? Hell yes it does.

Branden is one of the most explosive players in the SEC, let alone the nation. Just with him on the field as a decoy gives defenses fits. Not to mention, he’s one of our better players in the secondary. If he can’t go, no bueno.

Chris Davis being out hurts, but I think Tanner Strickland is coming along nicely (judging by my game brekadown on Sunday) and hopefully will not be as injury prone. I think this actually might be a positive if he starts.