Phil Fulmer

WTF?! Story of the Week

A new feature on this site will be the “WTF?! Story of the Week” where we will feature a random WTF?! story found here on the interwebz.  It wont be sports related (well I guess it can be) but will feature content that just makes you literally go, “What the fuck?”.

This weeks feature: Byron Christopher Jordan.  Who is he?  Well this little guy was charged with Bestiality in the fine city of Covington, GA.

I Have a Strong Odor About My Person...

Enjoy this.

A 37-year-old man was arrested Tuesday morning and charged with bestiality after several witnesses allegedly saw him having sexual intercourse with several horses.


Officers from the Covington Police Department were called to a home on Lunsford Circle at 8:58 a.m. When they arrived they met with the homeowner who was walking Byron Christopher Jordan toward the patrol car. When they spoke with the homeowner they learned he had witnessed Jordan having sex with one of his horses.


According to CPD Public Information Officer Lt. Wendell Wagstaff, Jordan was wearing only pajama bottoms which were extremely dirty and had the front fly opened. He also reportedly had a strong odor about his person.


Officers spoke with neighbors who had witnessed Jordan allegedly have sex with one horse, walk away from that one and go to a second horse and have sex with it before moving on to the third horse, which was in the corral, and begin having sex with that horse as well. They notified the owner, who had to physically pull him off the third horse.


“Witnesses said they figured if they called 911, dispatch operators would just think it was a prank,” said Wagstaff.


Jordan was charged with giving false name to an officer and bestiality and transferred to the Newton County Detention Center. He received a $3,500 bond and was bonded out on June 23, according to officials at the Newton County Detention Center. If convicted of bestiality Jordan could be sentenced to between one and five years of confinement.


I hear he was a Vols fan.

-Inspector G 

Free laptops?

What’s up with the recent string of college football players stealing laptops? Michigan State TE Dion Sims is the latest guy caught up in this hip, new craze taking college campuses by storm. Sims has been implicated in a theft ring that has allegedly stolen over 100 laptops from the Detroit public school system then selling them online. Sims joins the portable PC snatching club with other notables Jeremiah Masoli and Cam Newton.

Detroit? Seriously? Below is a photo of what we believe is commonly being used in 2010 in Detroit’s public school system.
commonly found in Detroit's public schools in 2010

In the grand scheme of things, Sims’ accomplishments pale in comparison to Masoli’s. The way Sims went about acquiring said laptops amounted to robbing 7-year-olds of their ability to play Oregon Trail or sneak a picture of a boob with Google image search. Not exactly a tough heist. Masoli, however, waltzed into a frat house dressed as a hooker looking for some lacrosse players while him and a pal took turns distracting bros until it was deemed safe to make off with the loot.

We would like to see an in-season Fulmer Cup challenge started up to keep track of these capers.

Fleeting thought… Jayson Werth looks like a serial killer in hiding.