No one knows holes like Burrow’s

Burrow Brackett’s Crystal Ball…

 

NOT WORK SAFE!!!!

Gentlemen, adolescent boys, guys, mens, bears, power bottoms, and UGA lovin’ twinks:

Here is your Burrow Brackett Crystal ball.  Yours truly will be transcribing this report, verbatim, from Mr. Brackett so remember: these are his words and not mine.  Sorry for the alternative lifestyle opening, but Burrow advised that was the only way we could keep him on as a contributor (that and Captain owes him a slush puppy).

(Imagine your inner voice as a homosexual toddler pageant coordinator from Dothan, AL and it will be much funnier.) 

“Heyy ya’ll!!!!  It’s me, Burrow!  Here for my season ending balls…I mean season ending crystal ball.  Fore-casted for you, the fans!  Because that’s what dudes do, and I’m kind of a dude and like dudes, so there.

Ok, Inspector G  gave me these questions to answer and I took them home looked into my challenge XL 3000 butt plug, I ah-hem, I mean crystal ball and came up with these answers.

1) Will Mark Richt be back at UGA next year?   A: Well I sure hope so!  He is a dream boat and looks like he is could be the Kenny to my Loggins (I just love him!).  But seriously, yes.  I do believe not only will Richt be back, but he will not be lured to any other school, Miami, Colorado, etc.  He has won nearly 100 games in 10 years, he deserves another year to try to get everything back under control.  I feel that Richt really does a good job, but waited 1 year too late to pull the trigger on replacing his defensive staff.  Next year will see if these major changes paid any dividends.

2) What about Bobo?  A: What about Smooches that male prostitute on Spring and 14th? They both are increasingly adept at what they do and they both will be back next year in their respective professions.  Bobo is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde the Salami: he hits big, but then abandons what has been working to run some sort of inside RB screen or some off-tackle fail running play, mostly just for the sake of mixing it up and running it.  I agree, you have to have some variety in play calling, but especially this year when your defense was unlikely to bail you out, you have to get your hand on the starter and your foot on the gas.  I just hope that Bobo breaks this down, realizes that about himself and commits it to memory.  But, I cannot argue that his pro-style philosophy works.  We have scored tons of points this year.

3) What is our biggest weakness that needs to be fixed in the offseason?  A: Easy, 2.  First, we need to get a rock hard, rock toting monster from Carver-Columbus: Isaiah Crowell.  And then we also need to get a baby-gobbler 6’2″ 350 pound JUCO stud nose guard to make Grantham’s scheme work.   No 2, replace or current strength and conditioning coordinator, which I heard was done today.  Scrap our program we are using, get with the times, and get the kids so far into shape that they can run wind sprints in a hurricane without getting tired.

4) Thoughts on the Chic-Fi-La Kickoff next year against Boise St?  A: MMMMMM…MMMMM….MMMMM Kellen Moore, he really has some cute teeth, huh?  I like the match-up, the atmosphere will be electric.  I heard that the Inspector is selling his first born to buy tickets to that..haha.  This could actually either be the best thing for UGA’s football team next year or the worst.  Keeping VA Tech in mind, a UGA loss here would be everything short of devastating to start the season.  However, if we win, it will put those no-talent ass-clowns in their place, get UGA national press coverage, and set a mighty strong tone for the season.

5) Give me a new breakout player on offense in 2011… A: Umm, first off, silly-goose, that is not a question, but my crystal ball says (not assuming Crowell is in the line-up) Marlon Brown.  Hyped up, hyped down, whatever.  I’m ready for him to prove it, next year he is a junior and either he has it or not.  we shall see.  I also like Wooten.  Woot is explosive and now that Green will be gone, I see him demanding touches by his play-making ability, alone.

5) Same response, but for defense…  A: I’m not a big fan of church, but I am a big fan of Christian Robinson.  That play he made against UF when he went through that blocker alone was enough.  But look for UGA to have the best, most athletic inside backers in the league next year.  Jarvis Jones and Richard Samuel.  Unleash the dragons.  (I REALLY WANNA SEE 2 DRAGONS!!!).

6) Ok some quick hitters….several….go!!!

– Do you think UGA should have a throwback day next year with white pants, red jerseys and silver helmets?  Yes, it would look good, kinda like The ohio state, but it would be cool.

-How about black out in the dome to start off ther season?  Nope, let us wear our norms.  No gimmicks needed.

-Joe T II to s and c director, good move?   Yes.  The ex-players really seem to like the move, that’s all we can judge by now until next season.

-Sexiest woman on the planet?  Keith Evra.

-Whoopi Goldberg, Hillary Clinton, and Rosie Odonnell.  You got to marry one, kill one, fuck one. Go!   A: Umm…nervous….Mary Clinton, kill rosie, fuck Whoopi.

-Biggest disappointment on the season?  being 6-6 while raping the turnover margin and increasing our offensive ppg buy over 11 per game.

-Biggest surprise? Aaron Murray…LIGHTS OUT.

-Who would you rather nail?  Chad Scott or Stephen Scott?  I exclude myself from this, since I’ve done them both.”

-Inspector G