Inspector G’s advice of a Lifetime

Taking Care of Business…

Two Simple Words: Go Dawgs!

 

Maybe you wanted a ‘Keyes to the Game’?  Maybe you wanted a post that linked the best breakdowns in the Dawg Nation Blog Roll.  Well today, you just get me, Inspector G.  Alone with my thoughts….delivering to you the most honest blue-print for success for UGA on Saturday.  You may not agree and that’s ok.

I sit here at Midnight on the Eve of this game wondering about our chances.  Hell, who hasn’t had a post this week about this game?  Blutarsky (as usual) has pinned exactly all of my thoughts before I could even write them.  The Georgia Sports Blog has even seen some Paul Westerdawg gems.  Facebook has been riddled with so many posts about this game, it’s about to shut down and here is this little ‘ole blog quietly relishing getting picked up by the dawgbone.net that has led to the most hits we’ve ever had in a month.  For that we thank you.  Yay!  (not so quiet anymore, huh?) But, back to business…

How many times have you heard this all week, “Well, LSU is the most dominant team in the country.  They’re in the BCS Championship win or lose.  However, who is UGA to summon up the nuts enough to play?  How does UGA even prepare for LSU?  They’re too fast.  Too strong.  Too good.  UGA is just another walk in the park for them.”  Huh?  You’ve heard that?  So have I.  Surprisingly, there are a few little pockets of the contrary out there (outside of the UGA blog rolls) that have actually given UGA a punchers chance.

To be honest, I still don’t know exactly what to think about this game yet.  On one hand, we are playing a team that I have watched no less than 6 times this year and I can say that this team would wipe the floor with ’06 Florida and ’10 Auburn.  They are vicious, ruthless, unrelenting, poised, talented, and are well coached.  What are we?

What are we, seriously?  Are we a team that has improved constantly to a point where we are actually playing our best ball right now?  Or are we, as most pundits pointed out, the recipients of the Miss Congeniality Award bestowed upon the SEC Team with the weakest schedule?  I can answer that second question for sure: HELL NO.  UGA has played 4 ranked teams.  Lost to 2 top 10 teams and beat two top 20 teams.  The team hasn’t backed in to shit…

What do we have to do to win?  The question of the week.  Maybe the question of the year.  Here is my list of what we have to do and why…

Offense:

1) Be patient, but take risks.  Conflicting views?  Maybe, but what I mean by this is that the last time we played a team of this caliber, we tried to force so many things we didn’t have to…talkin about Boise.  We know what we do well and there is no reason why we should come out and immediately do a double reverse pass back toss flea-flicker throwdown.  Although a couple of well-timed trick-plays would be nice.

2) Make them have an answer for Orson.  No team has really had an answer for him all year.  Let’s see just how good Orson (or the LSU linebackers/DB’s) can be.  He may be the best TE in the country, try him a couple of times and see what happens.

3) Receivers play smarter.  Look, our freshmen “Triumvirate of Awesomeness” (Bennett, Mithcell, Conley) are good.  But, they are not going to out-athlete LSU’s DB’s.  They have to play smart and key on what they are giving us (just like those cut off routes against Auburn).  Don’t over do it.  Run clean routes and anticipate Murray having to scramble and hit you on an impromptu.

4) OL has to have their best game. Ever. In the History of Best Games.  You know why.  Everyone knows why.

5) Key on their aggressiveness.  The 6 times I’ve watched LSU they have played so aggressive in the secondary.  They feed on that aggressiveness.  Burn them with it.  If 3 and 4 are coming true and they start jumping routes, punish them with a pump and go.  Punish them with a screen.

6) Crowell/Malcome/Thomas do not have to carry the team on their shoulders.  Just be somewhat efficient.  If Crowell especially can get a few nice gains early, the play action will be much more effective.

7) Murray has to have his best game.  There has been much talk about Murray’s Nostradamus-esque prediction that UGA would be back to the dome. He’s a winner and leads those around him with poise, drive, and tenacity.  Now, he just has to be accurate.  You and I both know what happens when he gets pressured early: the footwork begins to weaken and the throws are all over the place. If he can trust Ben Jones and Co, it may get dangerous out there.

 

DEFENSE

1) Stop the run with pure athleticism.  And you’re all going “well no shit, Sherlock”…but wait.  WITH PURE ATHLETICISM?  Big John Jenkins, Geathers, Abry Jones, and Garrison Smith showed last week (and all year) they can take over a game and do some work.  LSU’s offense is not this juggernaut of excellence that everyone continues to say (and yes, I know there is a point to be made about their toughness, but I’m not buying it).  Get the penetration, make them stretch to the perimeter, and pass.

2) If no 1 comes true, then continue to force them to pass.  Let Jefferson put the entire game on his shoulders and he WILL crumble.  He will make a mistake or 3.

3) Stop that bullshit option thing they do and that inside give handoff.  They run this a ton, with lots of success.  Ask Alabama.  I don’t know how you could every time except play disciplined and man the f up.

4) Watch for the Mad Hatterness.  Don’t doubt for a second, at any point in the game, he wont run a double reverse pass back toss flea-flicker throwdown 3 plays in a row…with the Honey Badger….ridin’ a Zebra.

5) Force at least 2 turnovers.  I don’t know how or when, but if we can force 2 turnovers….mmmm…it would be beyond huge.

6) Jarvis Jones, introduce yourself to Jordan “Semper Fidelis” Jefferson early and often.

6) Don’t let up.  If they get up on us early, hunker it down and keep us in it.  If any unit on our side can, it is the Defense.  Save our asses if you have to.  If you don’t, it’s over and over quickly.

 

SPECIAL TEAMS

1) No mistakes. This includes a) missing field goals under 51 yards b) muffing a punt c) shanking a punt d) out kickin our coverage e) missing coverage assignments f) getting our punts blocked g) fumbling on a kickoff.

2) Basically our special teams have to be perfect.  Time and time again LSU has absolutely taken over a game with their special teams.  Fake punts, punt returns, etc…they GOOD.  If we can’t be perfect, we will probably lose.  Look, its honest, right?  I mean we’re not gonna just walk out there and win against the no 1 team in the land.

 

OVERALL TEAM

1) I know the guys aren’t scared, so come out loose.  Have some fun.  And feed off of each other.  We’ve seen it in the Auburn and Tech games.  We really took those over and everyone got involved: from Jarvis Jones to Zander Ogletree.

2) When they hit us (and they will) hit them right back.  Straight in the mouth.  This team hasn’t backed in to shit.  We are on the 10 game winning streak.  That is no fluke, especially in this league.  Play like you belong, because regardless of what Mark ‘I hate UGA’ May says, YOU DO.

 

I know this was long, but it is how I would plan around this team.  We have to pretty much do all of these to be successful tomorrow.  It is a tall order, but achievable.  Lady Luck’s tender caress won’t hurt either.  We will not be able to beat LSU unless we play our best game of the year, on all sides of the ball.  Period.

Larry, if you’re up there, see if you can send a couple of hobnail boots and see if we can’t just pull one more miracle out.  Just for you, old pal.  Just for you.

See you at the game.  Yellow lot.

Go Dawgs!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=twD4vTjZ1tQ

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=KBgh366drDs

-Inspector G

 

 

Beat Florida…Pep Talk

As most of you who know my true identity, know that I have played this great game.  I still do, in my head.  That’s why I, of all authors here at HTT, have the chops to write this pep talk.

If I were on the UGA Football team, getting ready in Jax right before the game, this is what I would say:

“Get in here!   Get your asses over here!  Now listen you sons a bitches, I am sick and tired of all these people talking about ‘we’ve lost it’ and ‘we’re not good enough’  I’m tired of that shit.  I’m tired of coming down here every year and getting our asses handed to us!  I am tired of the bullshit ‘they’re better than we are’ mantra that goes around for this game.  That shit is over!  Do you hear me?!?  That shit is over.

Today men, we’re gonna go out there, in our white jerseys, and we’re gonna kick the shit out of those piece of shit gators from whistle to whistle.  We don’t need any gimmicks, new jerseys, or celebration penalties.  Just go out there, stick your helmet on some poor son of a bitch and let him know, as he’s having trouble getting up, that you’ll be right back on the next play.  Hit them in the mouth, again, and again, and again to where they want to quit.  Make them tired!  Make them lose contain!  Make them throw a pick! Make them know that this is not the Georgia they’re used to.  We’re not pussies tip toe’ing around any more.  This is a new era!  A new attitude!  WE DO NOT TAKE SHIT FROM ANYBODY ANY MORE!  All that talk of ‘calculated risk’ and ‘just enough to get it done’: FUCK THAT SHIT.  From snap one to snap 168 pound the guy in front of you and make him lament the fact that he even stepped on to the field today!!!

You have a chance to make all of our preseason goals come true.  No wishing, no if’s.  Let Sakerlina worry about themselves.  Because today it is ass whooping time and each of you have sold all of your tickets.  Cash them in on every single sorry piece of shit criminal they have in a blue uniform.  All the talk is now over.  All of these panty-waste pundits who couldn’t tackle out of wet paper bag can’t “analyze” the ‘what-ifs’ any more.  This is gonna happen.  Both teams are gonna step onto that field and play each other.  It’s up to you now men, to decide if these nay-sayers and fairweather fans are correct.  If they are, that means you just didn’t do what you were supposed to do and quit on yourselves and this team.  But I know that’s not gonna happen.

I want to pity these poor bastards on the opposite sidelines.  That can happen when we cram the ball down their throat drive after drive and then make them turn the ball over or punish them to get 3 and outs over and over again.  It’s time men.  It’s time for you to dominate this team, this field, both sides of the ball.  I want 60 minutes of smash-mouth football, no holds barred!  Can you do that?!  Let’s Go!”

So sue me if it sounds cheesy.  If I heard Coach Richt or Grantham say that, I would cream my pants.

-Inspector G

Yes, I am THAT Inspector G…

“Hello,  I clicked on your website and thought it was pretty cool.  You need to update more.  But I take it you are the same Inspector G that trolls the AJC blogs about Matthew Stafford and Amicis in Athens?  I ask because I think they are pretty f$%&ing stupid yet pretty funny.  Is Amici’s good?  I’ve always wanted to try it.  -Nick the Accountant”

That is a real message that I got in my private message box in twitter (@REALInspectorG).  I messaged him back and told him I would post on this site for the answer.  So I guess if you read this Nick, between your W2’s and green visors, now you know.

How about the rest of you?  Surprised?  Shocked?  Have no idea what the hell I’m talking about?  Do me a favor: go to google type in ‘inspector G ajc’ and read the blog thread trolling that I’ve been doing.  I think you’ll like them.  For example (27th comment from the top, sometimes you’ve gotta search a little) the title of the Op-Ed is “Weiner to quit; Dems seek new excuse to ignore debt crisis”:

Matthew Stafford once met Rep. Weiner. That’s right, Matt had just been drafted by Detroit and went to New York with a lady friend of his to celebrate. Rep. Weiner recognized him on the street, came over and struck up a conversation. Matt, being the gentleman and international man of leisure he is, spoke with Rep. Weiner in a most accommodating manner. They discussed everything from football to politics. As the conversation went on, Matt noticed that Rep. Weiner kept looking at his lady friend with ‘meat-gazer’ style eyes and then asked her if she was on Twitter. Matt knew then that this Twittgergate would all go down, warned the congressman, but the warning fell on deaf ears. Matt is reported to have said, ‘If you keep staring at my lady friend, I’m gonna sock you one in the mouth.” It is also rumored that before he decided to resign, the good congressman called Matt (who was in Athens) for advice. Matt flew him down to Athens, where their conversation took place at Amici, in which the congressman was so overwhelmed by how delicious the buffalo chicken garcheemar was and by how many new lady friends Matt lined up for him, he wasn’t so much worried about this scandal as he was wiping that scrumptious garcheemar off of his face. He subsequently follows Matt on twitter at MattStafford9…he now addresses him as Mr. Stafford.
-Inspector G

So go view my offseason work and enjoy yourself.

PS- I’m watching the UK v WKU game and Kentucky looks like shit. 4th quarter and it’s a punter’s wet dream. Uk leading 7-3.

Oh and Nick, Amici’s is f-ing delicious.  Order either the buffalo chicken garcheemar (fried chicken, dipped in buffalo sauce, on top of a Italian bread with melted cheese, and Italian herbs)…get the honey hot with blue cheese.  Also, their wings are the best wings this side of Louisiana.  Try the honey 2X extra crispy.  Awesome place owned by awesome folks.

-Inspector G

 

 

Charlie Sheen: American Hero (and other UGA notables)

Charlie Sheen truly is an American hero.  I’ve grown up watching him and feel like he has participated in the American Experience to the best of his ability and I am glad that he is getting the amount of exposure he is lately, because I fear the coke and the excessive binges will end his life here pretty soon.

 

On the UGA notes:

3 topics I will tear through like a rabid tiger (if you can’t tell this will be a Charlie Sheen flavored post, then you obviously don” t know your ass from Chuck Lorre) will be: The Crowell Infraction, Aaron Murray’s rockin’ bod, and the Dawgs in the Big Dance.

Crowell Situation:

I have lost all shreds of respect for the NCAA since the Cam Gate, Ohio State Tats for Cash, and Tressell’s Messell events.  All  were high profile programs running a muck  whose punishment (if any were EVEN HANDED OUT) was the equivalent of being sent to ‘time out’.  The point that I am trying to make is that the NCAA picks and chooses what they consider ‘rules’, how they ‘enforce’ these ‘rules’ and how they ‘punish’ those that break these ‘rules’.  The Crowell situation is no different.  Here UGA goes and self-reports a minor infraction that may be a violation of the rules, loosely interpreted, and we get hit with an ineligible Crowell (which has now been reinstated) and an April-less Richt on recruiting phone calls.  What a joke.

I want to go on a serious profanity laced tirade to tell you how shitty and obtuse the NCAA is, but I’ve already done that several times, sent them several emails and letters about how I and the rest of the Nation feels about their lunacy (to which I have received no response whatsoever), and publicly scrutinize their every move.  They kind of remind me of our illustrious Government who are so disconnected and removed from the ideas and feelings of those they govern, they forget what they are there for in the first place.

Moreover, I cannot believe the punditry surrounding ‘Crowell Gate’, especially Bill King from the AJC.  This wanna be piece of shit with coke bottom glasses and equally unattractive beard feels that he is the end-all-say-all of UGA football analysis, morality, history, and mythos.  This guy couldn’t get out of a shower of shit.  Read this refuse here. Slippery Slope? How come every time we have a relatively quiet off season with nothing more than praise for good deeds (Blake Sailors is a badass). this fuck, Bill King has nothing better to do than to opine about how ‘Richt is becoming careless” and wondering “where should Richt draw the line?”.  I’ll tell you what, Bill King, you can take your UGA hat you found on the Wal-mart rack, set it on fire and let the flames take your crappy beard, too.  You couldn’t find anything else to write about?  You sir, are pathetic and I hope you read this, get upset, and quit blogging all together.  You know, I’m sure the short-lived career you have at AJC (PRINT NEWS, DUHN DUHN DUHN) will provide such a financial windfall that you can buy a new hat and some fucking contacts.

 

Aaron Murray’s Rockin’ Bod:

Looks like Joe T means business.  I know hype is hype, but when we have every member of the team running faster, lifting more, and gaining good weight, you really can’t argue much.  I’ll just let this pic speak for itself.

Yes, that is OUR QB!

 

Hoop Dawgs; The Never Ending Story that Ended

The tale of the season was summed up in a colorful yet unsatisfying manner on Friday night.  I thought we were definitiely the more talented team, but not the smartest one on the court.  It goes to show again and again how playing smart sometimes over-rules superior talent.

It would be a shocker to see Leslie or Thompkins stay, but if they do we are well poised for another tourney repeat appearance next year.  Especially with Rockdale’s finest Kevin Ware could be on his way here.

Spring Practice update later in the week.  Stay classy.

– Inspector G

 

 

 

New Commenting set up…PLEASE READ

So we take a month off and come back and notice that our site has a TON of traffic. While that is good in one sense, it was burdensome in another. When we left we had 200+ comments on our site. Within 20 days, we had over 56,000!!! All spam ranging from growing my penis size (insert joke here_______) to finding local singles, to Christian Bookstores, and one person came forward to tell us Obama is a leftist.

So, Captain put on his Technological Thinking Cap (which is a dildo mounted to an oversized cowboy hat) and got it straightened out.

From now on, you must register a username and log in password and then actually log in to post. Take the extra step and tell us what you think. We appreciate it!

-Inspector G

Recruiting News, Playa Haters, and Mom’s Sweet Tea

As I promised:

On the recruiting trail is our fearless leader, Mark Richt.  And for a 6-7 team, he is killing it.  I’m not sure what we’re telling these kids or what the ‘Friends of the Program’ are giving them*, but it’s working.

Unless you were on Mars this past week, you should have heard the news the UGA picked up Jay Rome, Malcom Mitchell, and now just picked up Xavier Ward.

Quick Hitter Stats:

  • Jay Rome / 4 Star  /  Most sites have him rated no 1-3 TE in the Nation
  • Malcom Mitchell  / 4 Star  / Top Athlete in the state, but is projected as a 6-1 corner, great speed and will play some offense/specialist
  • Xavier Ward  / 3 Star  / One of the, if not THE, top tackle prospect in the State.  a 6-7 monster

Why are these important, besides their actual contributions to the team?  Well in the Inspector’s humble opinion, it gives me more of a bearing as to where the non-biased UGA fan stands and how the true moniker on Richt right now is not actually “what a failure, get his ass outta here” but closer to ” well, no one is happy, but he is making the correct decisions off the field to not only win, but win Championships”.  As an unapologetic UGA homer, I am in the second group of thinking and I like where he and Mcgarity have their mind sets.

Going forward, our biggest keys to recruiting this season lie with 3 players: Isaiah Crowell, Ray Drew, and ‘Big’ John Jenkins.  While Isaiah Crowell tends to be what most recruiting ‘beatniks’ who put way too much into 17 years old’s statements consider our biggest need, but I digress.  Although he will certainly change our running game for the better, it is in fact John Jenkins who will make the most immediate impact and to whom our hopes should rest.  If you live under a rock: John Jenkins is a MONSTER JUCO nose tackle who de-committed to Okie State and now we’re in the lead for his services.  I can hear it now, “Wow, he’s just a JUCO player, Ima hate him, he won’t be here long.” Oh ok…SEE: Nick ‘Dirty VD Bastard’ Fairley.  It was he, and not sCam ‘Now I can LEGALLY buy a laptop’ Newton who really won that MNC.  Jenkins impact would be immediate, substantial, and hopefully pay the ‘Fairley-ish’ dividends.

Ray Drew is a DE/OLB that is like Justin Houstin, but a little bigger.  Some rate 4 star, some 5, but he is a big deal, too.

Now while Isaiah Crowell (5 star RB) would be awesome and I would love to have him, he would be my close no 2 if I were the coaches.

Although, I may be wrong:

What do you think?

-Inspector G

Afterburner, Kentucky Edition

First things first, let me start by saying that the game was not even close and the score doesn’t reflect the complete and utter demolition of Kentucky on both sides of the ball. Now, those two late TD’s that UK got were absolute garbage and still shows me that our defense is still not there yet…but, they are still BETTER.

From the opening kickoff, to the 3 Justin Houston sacks, to Ealey’s 5 (COUNT THEM 5!) TD’s the Dawgs showed why the Ol’ Ball Coach says we’re playing the best ball in the conference right now. I hate that man, but I listen when he speaks.

Here we go, Helmet Bones and Grades:

Offense: Kept it out of reach from the start, we ran the ball well, DOMINATED the line of scrimmage (finally) and Murray plays another solid game with no INTs. On those goal line plays, we literally were blocking their DL’s out of the endzone. I would like to see the tight ends get involved more, but I can’t complain to much with any victory we get, but to continue to get them, the tight ends are too good to just let them block.

Grade A

Helmet Bone goes to Washaun Ealey. Again, 5 TD’s no fumbles, no further explanation necessary.

Defense: Had we not let up and allowed the Cats to score those last two garbage TD’s I would have given a higher grade, but then on the other hand Justin Houston was raping errrbody named Hartline, so it was a tough call. We are almost there now and I can at least say that we are much improved than a year ago and Alec Ogletree will be an absolute man-child in the near future.

Grade B+

Helmet Bone goes to Justin “Raping Errbody named Hartline” Houston. 3 sacks, 3 tackles for loss, absolutely a game changer.

Special Teams: Blair Walsh must have had a stomach flu, or found out he got hepatitis because nothing else explains him missing that field goal and PAT…hopefully whatever it is he can meditate enough to cure it. He lost the Groza last night.

But that was the only thing not ‘special’ about our special teams. As they kicked off to Boykin, I looked over at my father and said “Yeah, kick it to Boykin, he’s due” 8 seconds later he was in the endzone and I looked like Edgar Casey (famed psychic). Drew Butler punished the football like it was his bitch and kickoff coverage continues to be stellar.

Grade A

Helmet Bone goes to Brandon Boykin, and he is arguably the greatest kickoff returner in SEC history.

Coaching: As much as I’m sure some of you hate for me to say this, I’m still going to do it: We have a great coaching staff. Sure, Bobo looks hapless sometimes, but he didn’t have to do much last night because we were running the ball so well. Grantham finally has his defense clicking and it shows. Richt looks more fired up, more passionate, and under control.

Grade B+ because we still took one half of a year to get our shit together.

Helmet Bone goes to Warren Belin. He has his LB’s on a great track for success, is a smart coach, and is the reason why are special teams have improved so much on kick coverage.

So there you go. Sorry about the lack of posts this week, Captain and I are very busy this time of year and when you’re in the male escort business, you got to take it when and how you can.

Later in the week I will bombard you with info, quips, a funny video, and some more thoughts to ponder….IT’S FLORIDA WEEK!!!

– Inspector G

Inspector’s Go-Go Fantasy Football C-C-C-Combo Breaker…Week 6

By now you know: Brett “Fantastic Phallice” Farve texts his dick to women….hell, who doesn’t?

Welcome to Week 6:

You know who to start, so I’m not going to go over anything you wouldn’t do…just more in depth.

QB’s With Weak Knees:     “Halt, who goes there?, Why, it doth be Aaron Rodgers.” Take caution, I say.  I have to make this decision myself, so (believe it or not) I picked up Joe Flacco.  I know, I know.  I have threw him under the bus so much, but he is projected high, plays a weak secondary and he is due.  If not Flacco, then choose Matt Cassel.  He is also due and plays a weak secondary.

Drew Brees, he’ll be fine, start him.

Big Ben…welcome back from “raping wet slits” from mine and Captain’s Alma Mater.  Did she taste like Vegas but sweeter?…Start him.

Ride the Pine: D. Mcnabb, Kevin Kolb, Shaun Hill.  If you have to ask, you don’t wanna know.

RB’s To Please: Jamal Charles, oh man, I am so glad I picked him up.  He is the Chiefs best weapon and against a run susceptible defense, he might have a field day.

Michael Bush, I picked him up, destroyed my opponent.  Even if Mcfadden plays, it will not be much.  Look for Bush BIG.

Ryan Torain: If you were a Pierre Thomas or Thomas Jones or Clinton Protis Owner and did not pick him up, you dumb.  He may not be great, but he will be better in RB 2 then someone named above or Ryan Matthews or Shonn Greene.  Start him.

Ride the Pine: J. Best (no Calvin, or presumably no Calvin, monitor this one), Anyone as a Saints RB not named Bush or Thomas, Ronnie Brown…really?

WR’s to Card:  Brandon Lloyd, I am starting him.  I have regretted it for 2 weeks in a row and now let’s see if I regret it this week.  At least it will definitively show if he is for real or not. Jacoby Jones, let’s see if the waiver wires were correct. Mark Thomas (Jax)…who?  The Jax best and most targeted receiver.

Maybe’s: Deion Branch…its a gut feeling, but you have to feel it, i don’t.

TE Streaks:   Only this: PICK UP A HERNANDEZ…Moss grows fast on a rolling stone, but he is not in NE no more.  Especially if you lost J. Finley.

Week 6 is tough, it is gut check time.  Start your starters, research the rest, take a gamble.

-Inspector G

Inspector’s Go-Go Fantasy Football C-C-C-Combo Breaker…WEEK 5

Ladies and gents, kids and adolescents: Welcome to the Inspector’s Week 5 fantasy Combo Breaker.

Was I right last week?  On everything except John Kuhn (except the Pack just really didn’t run the ball, but he still had a good YPC) R. Mendenhall (but did you think I was serious?), and Matt Ryan, but the birds still one so I was happy.

QB Bonanza:

Must starts: P. Manning, D. Brees, A. Rodgers, P. Rivers, M. Schaub

Bye-Week-Busters: Caution: These are risky, but could help you with potential big games on your QB’s bye week… E. Manning, M. Ryan, K. Orton.

Ride the Pine: J. Flacco…I’m still not buying it. Kevin Kolb…really?  Why don’t you like DeSean Jackson?  So until you throw it to him, I will keep you here.

RB’s:

Must Starts: F. Gore, P. Hillis (surprising, but he is getting it done on that crappy team, what makes you think he would stop?), A. Foster, M. Jones-Drew, A. Peterson.

Borderline: C. johnson…well, he won’t do what he did last year, but still could have a monster game. M. Forte…with Cutler out, look for more rushing, but no promises here. S. Jackson…is his groin hurt or not? who knows.  P. Thomas…another injury doubting Thomas, but if he can play I project at least 11.

Pick Him Up: R. Torain (WSH)…with Portis out, look for Torain to take the bulk of the load and honestly he is explosive, elusive, and if given any space, he may surprise you. And for what it’s worth, I’m starting him on this bye-week.  L. Blount…no sucker punches here, unless you mean the goaline…with the Head Coach in Tampa wanting him to get more carries (especially on the goalline) he might eak out 10 or so.  But success here will result in more carries.  Muy Bueno.

Ride the Pine: Brandon Jackson…the most disappointing no 2 besides….Shonn Greene…awful.  Chris Ivory…he bad.

W/R:

Must Starts: D. Jackson, R. Wayne, R. White, C. Johnson (welcome back, kid), H. Nicks, A. Boldin, G. Jennings

Borderline: J Maclin, M. Colston, L. Moore (look, don’t put much stock into him now that he has been targeted so much for 2 straight weeks), S. Moss…wow, way to go D. Mcnabb. D. Driver…in the flex, good for 9-10 a game.

Pick Him Up: Brandon LLoyd, if you haven’t already. M. Thomas (JAX)…since Mike Sims-Walker is such a no count bum, this is Jax’s no 1 WR right now and if Gar-tard can get it to him, look for decent numbers.

Ride the Pine: Mike Sims-Walker (what is it wiht Jax and hyphenated names?).  L. Evans…really Buffalo, really? P. Garcon…Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

TE STREAKS:

Must starts: Antonio Gates, Tony Gonzalez, Jermichael Finley, Dallas Clark, Dustin Keller.

Borderline: Z. Miller, G. Olsen, B. Celek.  Are their teams good enough to get them the ball enough to make an impact?  Maybe, Maybe not….

Ride the Pine: J. Shockey, V. Shiancoe, T. Heap.

Good luck and God’s Spead,

Inspector’s Record’s:

Big Pay league: 2-2 (but lost both by a combined 6 opts)

Small Pay League: 2-2 (I’m receiver heavy and Shonn Greene is killing me)

-Inspector G

Inspector’s Go-Go Fantasy Football C-C-C-Combo Brrrreakerrr

Welcome to week 4 of the Fantasy Football…week 3 showed us a couple of things: Cutler is lucky, Eli Manning is either hit big or miss even bigger…

Without further adieu:

QB’s:
Start ’em: P. Manning, A. Rodgers, M. Schaub, D. Brees, P. Rivers, T. Brady

Borderline: M. Vick (I know, but he’s played 2 cupcakes…), D. Mcnabb, M. Ryan

Ride the Pine: J. Flacco….and keep him there. If you have this guy as your starting QB 1 option, you are as convoluted as Obama’s reasoning skills. This goes for Shaun Hill too, who refuses to throw it to Calvin Johnson, which makes me very angry.

RB’s:
Start ’em: C. Benson, C. Johnson, M. Jones-Drew, M. Turner

Borderline: M. Forte…for whatever reason, they don’t want to run the ball there, but he is still lethal out of the backfield as a passing option so there is upside.
R. Mendenhall…maybe it’s just me or maybe it’s his play making abilities but I see a sub-par performance this week to which I have nothing more than a gut feeling and 3 trips to the men’s room as my “hunch”.

Ride the Pine: S. Greene…what a bust. Yes, he is on my roster…no, no one wants to trade, not even for Lee evans.

Pick him up: J Forsett…he looks to become the Seahawks emerging RB and since they play St Louis, maybe there is a monster day for him.
J. Kuhn…Yep, the Packers have a white, full-back type who just might get every goal line carry on Saturday. Enough said.

WR/TE:
Start ’em: B. Marshall, D. Jackson, A. Johnson, R. White, R. Wayne, R. Moss, L. Fitzgerald / A. Gates, D. Clark, T. Gonzalez.

Borderline: H. Nicks…probably the best deep threat the Giants have continues to be wasted by Eli ‘I Couldn’t throw a Prom’ Manning. Who knows, but I am starting him because at some point, Eli has to hit him in stride…right?
Calvin Johnson…start at your own risk. Watch me say this and not start him and Shaun Hill finally gets the point: that this kid is a beast. You can Bet Matthew Stafford knows this…Matt’s so dreamy…

Ride The Pine: Steve Smith (Car)…they bad. Real Bad. Really bad. Really really bad. Lovin’ me some Jimmy Jimmy Clausen right now…

Pick Him Up: Some folks call me crazy, some folks call me Inspector G, either way Brandon Lloyd of Denver continues to impress. He had a monster game last week (and unlike Lance Moore of the Saints) and the Broncs aren’t exactly loaded at WR. Rumor has it that him and Orton share more than just fishing rods and footballs…but, it is just a rumor.

Good luck.

Inspector G’s Results for His Own Fantasy Leagues

1) BIG PAY League 2-1 (tied for first)

2) El Pequeno Dinero League 1-2 (Thanks Matt Forte) but on an 11ty billion way tie for 2nd.

3) No pay, no pay attention to league, although I have good players 0-3…time for some work…

Good luck, God’s Speed, Go Meat!

-Inspector G