Corch Meyers

GATA BLISS…GO GATA…

If you have never seen or heard this and always wonder why I refer to Urban Meyer as “Corch Meyers” or Percy Harvin as “Percy Harvey”, then now you will know…

Told you we were pulling out all of the stops.  I like to sit back with about 4 fingers of Knobb Creek and just listen to this rumbling yet entertaining diatribe.  For our reader’s convenience, I have placed one without subtitles and one with.  If you have never sen this, watch the non subtitle one first (the one on top…easy Burrow):

I don’t know what’s worse: her being that stupid or her being that stupid on our taxpayer dime.  Jacksonville, you should be embarrassed for yourself.  How can you elect this woman?  Her and Hank Johnson should go off to Guam and maybe it will capsize.

Enjoy

-Inspector G

The Zooker Was a Nice Guy…

Let’s look at some numbers and seech:

From Boys of Old Florida Blog:

Coaching staff 2006 Florida Gators

• Urban Meyer – Head Coach
• Steve Addazio – Tackles/Tight Ends
• Stan Drayton – Running Backs
• Billy Gonzales – Wide Receivers
• Chuck Heater – Recruiting Coordinator/Cornerbacks
• John Hevesy – Centers/Guards
• John “Doc” Holliday – Associate Head Coach/Safeties
• Greg Mattison – Co-Defensive Coordinator/Defensive Line
• Dan Mullen – Offensive Coordinator/Quarterbacks
• Charlie Strong – Assistant Head Coach/Co-Defensive Coordinator/Linebackers

Three of those men are now head coaches in their own right, with Strong at Louisville, Mullen at Mississippi State and Holliday at Marshall. Gonzales is at LSU, and Mattison with the Baltimore Ravens. Hevesy went with Mullen to MSU.

That leaves Addazio, Drayton and Heater from a staff that won the BCS title only a couple of years ago. Only 3 of the 9 assistants remain.

The coaching core of the Florida 2006 and 2008 BCS Champions weren’t constructed by Meyer when he came to Florida in 2005 – it was formed at Bowling Green in 2001. Mullen, Gonzalez and Hevesy all followed Meyer from Bowling Green to Utah, and then to Florida. Meyer and Mullen were together even before that at Notre Dame, with Meyer as the special teams coach and Mullen a graduate assistant. The two traveled the country learning the foundations of what would become the spread option from names like Scott Linehan and Joe Tiller. Then at Bowling Green, and later Utah, the two perfected what would later be so successful at Florida.

In other words, its as much Mullen’s offense as Meyer’s and perhaps, because Mullen did the play calling, even more so.

Further, don’t underestimate the loss of Charlie Strong. The Gators won the BCS titles in 2006 and 2008 as much on defense as offense.

All that coaching talent – gone. What remains is Meyer and the coaches that, for whatever reason, haven’t been seen fit to be hired away by other programs. The coaching heart (Strong) and soul (Mullen) of the championship teams are gone.

It happens everywhere, whether at FSU in the ‘90s or USC in the early part of the century. The best assistants leave, leaving the rest. Programs decline.

So what I’d like to see this weekend is some sign IT isn’t over. That doesn’t necessarily mean a win, it means the ability to fight when you are down. It means that spark, that passion that seems to be missing. It wasn’t too long ago opposing fans were taunting us when Meyer cried after a loss. Well, Urban “Crier” has a couple of little crystal trophies that your less emotional coaches don’t.

I want that guy back.

Because if it’s over, let’s get on with what’s next.”

Yeah, and D coordinators don’t make a difference?  Which brings me to our guy, Grantham.  Who week 2 of being here said this, “If you want to kick Florida’s ass, you better start working now!”.  Do you think he takes this seriously?

Back and forth I have tried to think about how far us and UF have fallen.  We have done a gradual tail off since 2007, fired a bunch of D coaches and some O realignments are almost surely to come this year.   UF has lost almost all every damn on of their top assistants to head coaching.  Not only that, look at how well they are doing.  If we win this weekend, I finally think we all can say that winning a MNC is not about having Tebow and Percy Harvey, but also about having an assload of talent in the press box, too.

-Thanks BG

Look for Meyers, unlike Richt, to cowardly blame everything except his coaching style and bolt for retirement or the NFL next year.  Good riddance.

-Inspector G

IT’S FLORIDA WEEK!!!!!!!

This is the biggest game of the year and honestly, it really wasn’t 2 weeks ago.  That’s why we here at HTT are pulling out all the stops and posting not only informative and insightful material, but material that will hopefully make you make fun of, guffaw at, and hate hate hate on all things gator.

First things first;  for yet another year, I cannot attend the game.  I have to work this weekend. Foxtrot Mike Lima.

Next, I will warn all of you ladies and/or female significant others out there to stay away from this guy:

"Jeanus Shortus Douchebagus" AKA: Avg UF Fan

Jeanus Shortus Douchebagus is found in and around trailer parks, central florida dive bars, and anywhere Pall Malls are sold.  These  idiots crazy assholes run around, all nimbly bimbly like, meth’d out and want to talk about anything UF football, which normally revolves around how good Tebow is, why screwing Tebow is not gay, and why Tebow should start every NFL game.

Also these idiots crazy assholes like UGA girls.  Normally a pick up line would start like this: “Hey baby, you ever flossed with 100% pure cotton before?  No? Would you like a shot of Patron with crusties in it and a cigarette?  No?  Aw hell, I’m just kidding.”  But they are not.  They are 11ty Billion% serious.

These folks are to be the on receiving end of relentless, tenacious, and voracious attacks on their personal, physical, and emotional health.  No holds barred. No family member stricken with cancer on her death or a slow opaquely simpleton child should be spared.  Use all you can, crush them mercilessly and when you’re done and they are crying pour salt, gasoline, Turbo AIDS, dicks, and a flame thrower in their wounds.  Basically defecate in and or around their souls, their very essence.

In the spirit of this week and Hallows Eve, here is a lovely picture captured by a true Dawg fan who gets the point.  This fine gentleman actually dressed up as a Gator fan for Halloween and lo and behold, he got a plethora of these: “What are you supposed to be?  A Florida fan?”  Ah, the irony is palpable.

"Just call me Randy"

Moving right along, I really like our chances in this one.  I think we might have finally hit rock bottom enough to not care about the ‘Jax Jinx’ bullcrap.  It’s about time we just forget about all of that mojo and quit pissing ourselves when we cross the state line.  Mark my words: Attitude will be the difference in this game, not talent.

More to come later.  Register for our feed so you automatically get the updates.  As one loyal and valued reader told me recently, “[Inspector G], I wasted like a whole Friday at work reading your site.  It was the most productive thing I’d done all week.”  Now THAT’s what I’m talking about.  Invite your UGA savvy and UF friends, too.  Tell them about us! Invite them to visit HTT, register, and subscribe.

In all seriousness Captain and I want to thank all of you: friends, readers, subscribers, our two new Post Ready Members (who have yet to post anything, so get with it…)…I know some of you might deem this a little too ‘racy’ or ‘profanity laced’, but if you do, you obviously don’t know us very well or our friends.  But again, THANK YOU!

More to come this week…wow, EPICNESS…stay tuned…

-Inspector G

Who to root for this weekend…

The goal of our beloved bulldawgs every season is to make it to the SEC championship game. Even though we have 2 SEC losses already, there is still plenty of time and plenty to hope that we can still make it to the dome come December, but we need some help.

First, obviously we need to win out. Not easily accomplished, but not impossible, especially given Florida’s pedestrian performances so far. What we really need is for the SEC to work its magic and cannibalize one another…

Today I have two games and two teams to root for:

17 Auburn vs. 12 South Carolina: Since they hold the tiebreaker over us, the Cocks need to lose 3 SEC games. They still play Florida and the Tide, so why not go ahead and get loss number three today? War Damn Eagle baby!

9 Florida vs Kentucky: Your initial thought would probably be Go Wildcats. Not so fast…Kentucky has a favorable SEC schedule and with a win over Florida, they may have the confidence to do something. Florida still has to play the Tide and us. I’ll take my chances there. Go Gator!

Hope your Saturday goes well…stay tuned for maybe some live blogging during the game tonight.

What’s that coming down the track?

-Massey

On the Docket for today…

BREAKING NEWS: Later today on HTT, we will be featuring a piece on Corch Meyers sexuality. Did he or didn’t he?

Also, Courtney Furmann drops by to give us some lingerie fashion tips and her patented method on, ‘how to steal your man in a BMW.”

Finally, Captain and I are laying out some X’s and O’s for Saturday’s game versus the Fake Bulldogs in Starkvegas. I’ll be hitting up the Offense and Captains tackling the Defense. I am also including a section in “Who to root for this weekend…”

Only one of these stories is actual, can you guess which one?

Stay tuned, if not then I hope you have lots of penicillin…just sayin’…

Have a great Friday!!! Go Dawgs

-Massey