comming soon

Off to Augusta…

Dear HTT Subscribers, Readers, and Fans:

Captain and I do apologize for the lack of posts this week. We have been very busy. I, for one, am about to embark on a work conference to Augusta.

Starting next week we”ll have some cool things lined up: I have an in depth interview with site favorite, Burrow Brackett, also there will be some this and that’s before the Auburn game. We will also keep our eyes on Cam Newton and I’m sure Captain will have a witty gif or two on that.

Have a great weekend! Go Dawgs!

– Inspector G

IT’S FLORIDA WEEK!!!!!!!

This is the biggest game of the year and honestly, it really wasn’t 2 weeks ago.  That’s why we here at HTT are pulling out all the stops and posting not only informative and insightful material, but material that will hopefully make you make fun of, guffaw at, and hate hate hate on all things gator.

First things first;  for yet another year, I cannot attend the game.  I have to work this weekend. Foxtrot Mike Lima.

Next, I will warn all of you ladies and/or female significant others out there to stay away from this guy:

"Jeanus Shortus Douchebagus" AKA: Avg UF Fan

Jeanus Shortus Douchebagus is found in and around trailer parks, central florida dive bars, and anywhere Pall Malls are sold.  These  idiots crazy assholes run around, all nimbly bimbly like, meth’d out and want to talk about anything UF football, which normally revolves around how good Tebow is, why screwing Tebow is not gay, and why Tebow should start every NFL game.

Also these idiots crazy assholes like UGA girls.  Normally a pick up line would start like this: “Hey baby, you ever flossed with 100% pure cotton before?  No? Would you like a shot of Patron with crusties in it and a cigarette?  No?  Aw hell, I’m just kidding.”  But they are not.  They are 11ty Billion% serious.

These folks are to be the on receiving end of relentless, tenacious, and voracious attacks on their personal, physical, and emotional health.  No holds barred. No family member stricken with cancer on her death or a slow opaquely simpleton child should be spared.  Use all you can, crush them mercilessly and when you’re done and they are crying pour salt, gasoline, Turbo AIDS, dicks, and a flame thrower in their wounds.  Basically defecate in and or around their souls, their very essence.

In the spirit of this week and Hallows Eve, here is a lovely picture captured by a true Dawg fan who gets the point.  This fine gentleman actually dressed up as a Gator fan for Halloween and lo and behold, he got a plethora of these: “What are you supposed to be?  A Florida fan?”  Ah, the irony is palpable.

"Just call me Randy"

Moving right along, I really like our chances in this one.  I think we might have finally hit rock bottom enough to not care about the ‘Jax Jinx’ bullcrap.  It’s about time we just forget about all of that mojo and quit pissing ourselves when we cross the state line.  Mark my words: Attitude will be the difference in this game, not talent.

More to come later.  Register for our feed so you automatically get the updates.  As one loyal and valued reader told me recently, “[Inspector G], I wasted like a whole Friday at work reading your site.  It was the most productive thing I’d done all week.”  Now THAT’s what I’m talking about.  Invite your UGA savvy and UF friends, too.  Tell them about us! Invite them to visit HTT, register, and subscribe.

In all seriousness Captain and I want to thank all of you: friends, readers, subscribers, our two new Post Ready Members (who have yet to post anything, so get with it…)…I know some of you might deem this a little too ‘racy’ or ‘profanity laced’, but if you do, you obviously don’t know us very well or our friends.  But again, THANK YOU!

More to come this week…wow, EPICNESS…stay tuned…

-Inspector G

Alright you bastards, now you know how I feel…Part 1 of 2

  “It’s easy to have faith in yourself and have discipline when you’re a winner, when you’re number one. What you got to have is faith and discipline when you’re not a winner.” – Vince Lombardi

What better way to begin a post about the direction of our program?  Richt hasn’t been here before and in my adult years (which is pretty much Richt’s tenure), neither have I. 

 I have a couple of points to present here, but before I get on with that, I want to make a statement about our fan base pitchfork wielding, retarded  asinine portion or our fan base.  To all of those calling for “heads to roll” and “fire everyone, including Aaron Murray!” you can go to hell.  I don’t have the power to send you there, but I have encountered your kind many times in my travels.  You all have a certain smell about you, wear backwards hats, have earrings, post rambling senseless diatribes on the AJC (ya’ll are the only ones who read that garbage anyway), and more than once have been at the receiving end of my fists (to great success I might add).  You are the bane of the my existence and honestly, I hope you are all sterile.  Bringing another meth smoking, trailer park wonder into the world should be outlawed. 

 So, now on to the real fan’s perspective:

 I see it out there.  The long faces, the nervous feeling in your gut, the thought of quicksand.  I feel it, too.  This part one of two will focus on what I believe our shortcomings are.  Post two will be about how to fix them.

 If football were a simplified equation, it might look like this: Coaches + Players x execution= Success.  So my post will follow this format…

 Coaches: Wow, the hottest topic of them all.  Are we to believe that this bunch of former Collegiate players really are so inept, that our team is 0-3 in our Conference because of their inability to call short passes over deep outs? Or cover 2 over man?  Or a flex blocking scheme over big on big?  I think not, but they sure haven’t been helping their case. 

 Being a former collegiate player myself, coaching means much more than most fans think.  Most coaching staffs have a synergy about them.  Having coaches filling different roles (beyond X’s and O’s).  Some are fiery some are calm.  Some are player’s coaches and some are reserved.  From what I can tell (or what I see on the field) the coaches do not have this cohesion yet.  I don’t know why, but I’ll bet it has to do with all of the changes, the media absolutely crucifying them, and us, the fans.  

Either way, at least on the surface, it is safe to say they aren’t all hitting on the cylinders.  I’m sure you can see it and an in depth look in to player and fellow coach’s quotes, you can read between the lines.

 Also, there is a confidence problem.  The players are not buying in, or so it seems, into the offense or the defense.  However, losing as many offensive leaders last year (including the Ginger Ninja) and not having Green in the lineup makes a huge difference, especially to the younger players.  Who has been outstanding on offense: Chris Durham. Confidence.  Tavarres King.  Confidence.   Not that I’m excusing the performance, but as a former player, I have experienced this happen, a year later, we were in the playoffs.

Players:  We, for the second year in a row, do not have a plethora of leaders, especially on defense.  We are young there, but still…no Curran’s, Pollack’s, or Allen’s.  We definitely do not have players who lead by example.  Besides Daryl Gamble, I have not seen a single player on Defense have a complete game yet (yes, that includes Justin Houston).  Inconsistency has lead to our early and late brain farts mental breakdowns, thus costing us chances to climb back into the game.

On offense, we are getting one of the best leaders back in the line-up.  I know, Green may not be a vocal leader, but I’ve seen him, by his play alone save 2 games for us single handedly (SEE: Arkansas, Arizona State 2009). His play inspires people, inspires players, inspires coaches.

One additional offensive note: Aaron Murray may be the most impressive Frosh I’ve ever seen in a UGA uniform.  I know David Greene was good, but his supporting cast was much better (especially his O line).  Murray is getting it done and on a personal note, is slowly but surely becoming Man-Crush material.

Perception:  Confidence is down, winning is down, big plays are down (unless you are our opponent), coaching synergy is down, fan enthusiasm is down, media love (except ESPN, they hate us and I am serious), we are seriously in the NCAA football BCS basement.  Don’t think for a second our players don’t read these things, here these pundits busting their chops, and here these “fringe fans” talk about how terrible they are.  Now compound that with the 1-3 record…wow.

Execution: I went through this week and reviewed every game we have played (every play, minus La-La).  Ladies and Gentlemen, we are about 4 plays away from being 4-0.  “Inspector, have you lost your freaking mind?” Well, no.  Execution has been our worst enemy.  On almost every pivotal play of significance, we have either had a) a fumble, b) a penalty, or c) a coverage breakdown.  That’s not a sign of the coaches not coaching, but of the players not playing…just a FYI

In summation: Our major problems are: Coaching Synergy, Confidence, Perception issues, execution, some bad luck.

Yes, overly simplified, I know.  Yes, I am capable of going further in depth and writing a breakdown worthy of a “Doctorate Dissertation” but Football needs to be simplified, not more complex.

Tune in for my Part 2 on what I think will fix or ‘could’ fix these…

 -Inspector  G