Who’s the man with the master plan? Alan…..Keyes! Who’s the man who will say you can (even if you can’t)? Alan…..Keyes! Who’s the man that takes too much time on Hardball with Chris Matthews to fully answer a question leading Chris to swap it back over to Harry Bellafonte? Alan…..Keyes! Here he is ladies and gentlemen! The legend, the myth, the greatest non Senator that ever lived! The 1998 Junior Leader’s Of America Sponsor Winner of the Annual Meeting Hotdog Eating Contest and Tire Roll, our friend, Mr. Alan ‘Don’t Call Me Babydoll’ Keyes!!!
Inspector G: You’re late
Keyes: It’s a relative term.
Inspector G: I’ve been waiting in front of this Build-a-Bear for 2 hours. I’ve seen more spoiled kids and MILFs than Tom Brady in his child’s car pool. You need to start requesting more normal meeting places.
Keyes: You don’t talk to the talent that way. You know, Obama talked to me like that and you know what happened to him…
Inspector G: Yeah, he beat you. He also became President, a pretty crappy one, but nevertheless.
Keyes: Well, we need a new contract with America. More jobs, less taxes, you know….progress. I’ve laid out this 43 step plan to reduce the deficit…
Inspector G: For God’s sake, on with it!
Keyes: I tell you. Was I right about everything but the score last week, or was I right? I WAS RIGHT. Almost spot on. This week is a little more puzzling. A little more complex, if you will. On one hand, UGA has better talent. One the other, that hasn’t always worked out for the Dawgs. I have 3 keys for the dawgs: Short Passing game to lure in a big play, keep Relf in the pocket and let him throw (no cheap first downs), and improve on special teams.
La Tech shredded…I mean absolutely shredded Miss St with the short passing game by a quarterback who can’t even vote for me (he really was 17). You know the Miss St Fake Bulldogs D wont allow that for long here and will be forced to ‘cheat up’ and abandon the zone with a variation of a zone/man/robber allowing a one-on-one matchup with King or Mitchell and if Murray can land the pass….oh baby! The running game should do well and I expect Crowell to finally have that brutal cut to send him on a 40 plus yard TD run. I also like the backs getting some passes thrown out of the backfield. This has been money all year, keep using it. And if UGA doesn’t involve the TEs, it will be a tough one tomorrow.
Relf has not been
a world beater better than subpar in the passing game all year. As a result, if we can contain him in the pocket, make correct reads in the option, I see a couple of picks, a sack or two, and a lot of 3rd and longs. If not, this could be a long day. Mullen has been kinda pissed with his O’s performance and has probably cooked up what he belives is a fine crawfish dinner, but so has Grantham. I’m actually really excited about that mind match-up.
Special teams: Let’s just hope Walsh got laid this week.
Inspector G: That’s it?
Keyes: Yep, I wanna go make a Build-a-bear.
Inspector G: OK, well GO Dawgs!
Tons to talk about, mostly negative. I’ve had to give myself a couple of days to think about what I wanted to say and analyze without burnin’ this mother down getting upset. So please excuse my lack of posting.
No words can take the sting away, but maybe some common sense punditry will reduce the duration…
Check back soon…like tomorrow.
-Inspector G (ok, so I went overboard with the tags, but read them, they’re funny….)