What are they gonna do? Put you in football JAIL?

THIS JUST IN: Nick Marshall Runs Wild on the Aggies!!!

Reporting to you from the future, at exactly 3:43 PM on Saturday November 5, 2011 on site at Sanford Stadium where the scene here was nothing but straight domination.  Nick Marshall rushed for 219 yards and 4 scores today as the Dawgs butt-rape the New Mexico St Aggies 64-7.

Marshall’s performance was quite unexpected, yet much appreciated as UGA’s regular tailbacks were suspended for violating team rules smoking the sticky.  While the entire UGA back field has more than 40 yards a piece (Harton 42, Murray 41, and Ogletree 43) it was Marshall with his 6 carry scoring-machine performance that sent the crowd into a very hyped-up impregnating fiesta frenzy.

Fueled by Marshall’s performance, the Dawgs Defense allowed 0 points, 4 interceptions, 10 tackles for a loss, and all of that was from Jarvis Jones alone.

Going forward, Mike Bobo has a tough choice to make in the coming weeks as to who to start.  While Crowell has been quite the amazing freshman, Marshall has shown not only his ability to tote the rock, but also an ability not to give stupid as shit interviews, breaking team rules, and bitching about play calling.


Truth be told, much to my chagrin, I doubt Marshall will even get the ball or if he even can be a RB.  But, something interesting and quite scary that you all should be thinking about is that Crowell is walking a razor thin line.  Don’t mistake what I’m saying to be throwing this kid under the bus, but here are some glaring issues that could be tale-tale signs of a Washaun Ealey on steroids:

1) Has had discipline issues since pretty much day 1

2) Has been overheard chirping about Bobo’s play calling

3) Has made mention several times about how “difficult” school is

4) Can’t interview worth a damn.

5) This latest suspension

I know he’s young and he’s not probably been exposed to the finer things in etiquette, manners, and proper ways of doing things, but he has to realize that if this keeps up and he continues to put himself above the team he will become an Ealey and will be forgotten.  Especially if Keith Marshall comes here.  Who is Keith Marshall?  The Nation’s no1 RB coming out of highschool right now who is heavily considering UGA.

I just hope that Crowell understands what being a student athlete means and what it is to be a Bulldawg.  I just hope he learns his lesson sooner rather than later when he has to transfer to UT-Martin.

NOTE: When I say ‘Nick Marshall’, I mean Nick Marshall currently on the Dawgs squad.  When I say ‘Keith Marhsall’,  I mean Keith Marshall HS RB from Northkerlina.

Just for shits, Keith Marshall highlights:

-Inspector G


Learn How To Celebrate…

I’m sure you’ve heard it by now, but Crowell, Thomas, and Malcome are suspended for violating team rules.  I’m not saying yet that they got caught partying, drinking, sexting, whatever but who knows.

Also, Samuel IV is out for the rest of the season due to an ankle injury.  Great timing fellas….great fucking timing.

At least we’re playing New Mexico State.  And since I am always looking at the bright-side of things, at least we don’t have to worry about them breaking an ankle or destroying a knee in a cupcake fiesta.

You heard it here first, look Saturday for a little Brandon Harton but some 2 back set with Zander Ogletree and Big Figgs.

-Inspector G

You Wanted Emotion, You Got It So Stop Bitching…

I have to agree with Tyler Dawgden over at the Georgia Sports Blog, but I’ll add a couple of more caveats.

1) All I ever hear from armchair Quarterbacks and other ‘UGA Fans’ is this exact statement, ‘With Richt all we get is plain Jane shit.  No emotion.  No fire.  Just Christianity and mediocrity.”  I don’t know what this whole ’emotion’ thing comes from, but Grantham provides that.  We all want something from this team: WINS.   What have we been getting, albeit not pretty: WINS.

I want it to be clear that we need to clean up some things on the team (but I really feel that most of it is just the youth of this team) for us to be lumped in the same category as Alabama and LSU, but I do see us moving in the right direction.  But UGA fans who put blame and shame on Grantham from this incident need to go jump on any other team’s band wagon and go tell the world that life has made them a dripping wet pathetic vagina.  If anything, you should start holding Grantham in a little warm place in your heart and start defending him just like he did for his own players.  I may be a homer, but I’m also honest.  This team and program needs Coaches like Grantham.  Someone who is edgy, loud, excited, and extreme.

2)  If you think, just because of a trap game performance, that our defense has suddenly ‘dropped-the-ball’ and ‘almost cost us the game’ think again.  They might have not played lights out every play, but for the amount of injuries they’ve had lately, plus the amount of Freshman playing, and Washington being out they have done pretty well.  Don’t forget that one of those scores was a kickoff return.

3) Wait until we play Florida and then make a call on how this team has performed.  I think sometimes we as fans forget that all this will be played out on the field.  We have to play them, so let’s make that assessment once it happens.

P.S.  If you’re looking for someone to put some blame on or call out, go tell James Franklin to shut the fuck up.

-Inspector G

Just to Clarify…

I’m not saying the Tennessee Volunteers are world-beaters.  But Captain and I kept hearing and seeing how “awesome” UT was and how “Bray was going to shred” our defense.  It almost made me wanna say: Well hell, why do we even have to play?  Just take the loss and save our strength.

Good thing pundits are wrong.  Good thing even my fellow UGA bloggers are sometimes fair-weather pessimistic fans.  It’s ok fellas.  Maybe I’m just that big of a homer where (within reason) I look at the numbers, the match-up, and the intangibles for each game and feel that we should win, especially against UT and especially given our defense’s new rhythm.

I’m not completely drunk on the Kool-Aid yet, but this is definitely an improvement.

NOTE: If you didn’t already know this, Captain and I hate Tennessee more than any other rivalry we have.  There is a million reasons why, but it has a lot to do with getting a bag of Lays K.C. Masterpiece (TM) dumped on me by their fans on my way out of Neyland 4 years ago.  I know a lot of UT fans who are awesome, salt of the earth.  But, as a whole, their fan-base represents the most diabolical collection of dirty-red, classless, clueless, and rude people I have ever bore witness to.  East Tennessee is aesthetically beautiful, but a large portion of the people there should be sterilized, period. Trust me, I’ve lived there.

-Inspector G

Grantham > Mullen

For all of you band-wagoneers out there who were so set on batting your eye-lashes at Dan Mullen like a two-bit HPV laden urbanite female of ill repute…NEWS FLASH.  He aint the guy.  The guy you should be looking at and batting your eyes at (while lusting incessantly for his proverbial defensive sack-man cover 3 baby eating man juice) is Todd Grantham.  Look, Richt has done his job.  He hired Grantham.  I’m not sure if any of you remember but these type wins we’ve had the past two weeks are so Richt circa 2002 it’s not even funny.  And before you say (in your best redneck-ass voice), “Well hell, we aint killing nobody like Saban.” Remember that you would certainly take those wins over a 3 point loss against Sakerlina.

Read ’em and weep, assholes…THIS is what I’m talking about.   And don’t forget, this is with playing ONE cupcake….JUST ONE.

Also, he can never be acused of never showing emotion…


-Inspector G


Someone Has Got Some ‘Splainin To Do Part II…

What the hell is going on with the music in Sanford Stadium???    What is this Zombie Nation OOOoooOOOoooOOO bullshit?  Are we GA Tech now?  What is this “Jump Around” nonsense from House of Pain?   I am perplexed.  Our stadium music was fine.  Or at least adequate. Now, just like our recent records, look of the field, and a part of our fan base it too is abysmal.

If you looked around the stadium when this garbage was being played (and sponsored by Academy which I will now be boycotting) fans were looking around with their hands up and I heard countless, “What is this shit?” exclamations.  It makes me sick.  Well I’m gonna list a couple of songs that I think we could utilize to not only ‘hype up’ the crowd, but also send a message that this Stadium is uniquely Georgia and that it is in the music capital of the state: ATHENS.  Home of the B-52s, REM, Drive By Truckers, Widespread Panic, etc.  We should act like it.  So besides The Who’s Baba O’Reiley, here is the list that I have compiled.  Some old, some new, some surprises.

Those can be used for kickoffs…



These can be used for warm ups…

I mean hell, anything other than that Zombie Nation horseshit.

I know this my seem trivial to some of you, but I feel like we’ve changed things just to change them…

*UPDATE:  I thought of some other traditions that are changed as well.  The spell GEORGIA cheer is now done at the beginning of the game and NOT at halftime.  And the band location has also moved and is right beside the other team’s band and they muddle together in this cluster of sounds.

Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

-Inspector G





Someone Has Got Some ‘Splainin To Do…Part I

There was a time, not too long ago, when going to a UGA game was more than a game.  It was more than a crowd, or an event, or a win.  It was an EXPERIENCE.  An experience that was uniquely Georgia.  An experience that was not only entertaining, but (In my opinion) was an experience that rivaled every other SEC Stadium’s experience bar none.

Sitting in Sanford Stadium on last Saturday night, looking at our field and listening to whale-squeeze for music, longing for 2005 didn’t just extend to our record.  That poor pitiful field (grass and hedges not included).  It has been stripped down to a vanilla, pathetic, former version of what we all want it to be.  In 2008, they removed the red outline.  In 2009, they removed the red outline from the numbers on the field.  In 2010, they made the field numbers and hash marks thinner.  In 2011, THEY REMOVED THE ‘G’ SYMBOL on the goal line!  I know I wasn’t the only one to notice this because I heard the bitching from every corner of the stadium.

The red outlines, the larger lines, and for God’s sake the ‘G’ goal line symbol were all pieces of a sacred and ultimate game experience.  Now they are gone.  Chipping away at all of these things have left me and my game going buddies I sit with not only yearning for the past, but also lamenting the present and dreading the future.

This is what it SHOULD look like on Saturdays...

Where does it stop? Does it even stop.  This all may sound trivial to some of you, but it really strikes a chord with me.  If you take away all of the things that make that Stadium and our football team uniquely Georgia, then what do we become?  Answer: Another mediocre team, with mediocre fans, playing and sobbing together in a mediocre stadium.

Please write, as I have Greg McGarity on this issue.  Maybe some traction can be gained, who knows.  Mark my words, if McGarity ever comes to speak at any of the East Metro Bulldog Club meetings, I will ask him this question.  In the meantime, please email or write the athletic office if you are as concerned as I am.

*I will be posting a Part II on the horid bullshit Zombie Nation trash, music played before kickoffs.

Please feel free to opine in the comments section…

-Inspector G


Things I Don’t Wanna See Today

Well, for the life of me, I can’t convince myself that we’re gonna win.  I know we can.  I know we have the tools, talent, coaching, conditioning, and will enough to win.  However, until we show that pre 2006 nastiness and finishing ability, I don’t think I can (even with my blatant homerism) automatically put a ‘W’ in the column.  Everyone here knows what we all WANT to see, but specifically I don’t wanna see this:

Any South Carolina colors wearing faggot and his methed out muffin-top date, who paid way-too-much on stubhub, cheering in my face if the worst happens.  I want all red and black around me.  I’ll talk shit going out the door and get satisfaction by saying, “Stephen Garcia’s mother can go fuck herself” win lose or draw.

Maybe I should’ve changed the title to ‘Thing’ I don’t wanna see today…

We are tailgating on East Campus, come by and partake in the fiesta.

Please, comment away…

-Inspector G