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I Love the Interwebs…

About 4 Years ago, Captain introduced me to the Georgia Sports Blog.  At the time, Paul Westerdawg and Company provided the wittiest and honest UGA sports blogging around.  I mean these guys were on point.  But, just like us here at Hailtothee, they have real lives (and apparently REAL wives, too) and their frequency of posts and content slipped.  But, it lookes like they’re back in action with this latest one.

Sit back and relax: THIS is pure gold!

-Inspector G

The most honest UGA Preview In the World: Defense Edition

I am short on time getting ready…quick breakdown:

Strenths:

I look at our defense and I see probably top to bottom the most talented defense we’ve had since 2002.  I’m serious.  I see the fastest linebacking core in the SEC.

I think the game comes down to our front 3 taking up 2 holes a piece and letting the linebackers roam free looking for dinner.

I gotta go…GO DAWGS!

-Inspector G

Yes, I am THAT Inspector G…

“Hello,  I clicked on your website and thought it was pretty cool.  You need to update more.  But I take it you are the same Inspector G that trolls the AJC blogs about Matthew Stafford and Amicis in Athens?  I ask because I think they are pretty f$%&ing stupid yet pretty funny.  Is Amici’s good?  I’ve always wanted to try it.  -Nick the Accountant”

That is a real message that I got in my private message box in twitter (@REALInspectorG).  I messaged him back and told him I would post on this site for the answer.  So I guess if you read this Nick, between your W2’s and green visors, now you know.

How about the rest of you?  Surprised?  Shocked?  Have no idea what the hell I’m talking about?  Do me a favor: go to google type in ‘inspector G ajc’ and read the blog thread trolling that I’ve been doing.  I think you’ll like them.  For example (27th comment from the top, sometimes you’ve gotta search a little) the title of the Op-Ed is “Weiner to quit; Dems seek new excuse to ignore debt crisis”:

Matthew Stafford once met Rep. Weiner. That’s right, Matt had just been drafted by Detroit and went to New York with a lady friend of his to celebrate. Rep. Weiner recognized him on the street, came over and struck up a conversation. Matt, being the gentleman and international man of leisure he is, spoke with Rep. Weiner in a most accommodating manner. They discussed everything from football to politics. As the conversation went on, Matt noticed that Rep. Weiner kept looking at his lady friend with ‘meat-gazer’ style eyes and then asked her if she was on Twitter. Matt knew then that this Twittgergate would all go down, warned the congressman, but the warning fell on deaf ears. Matt is reported to have said, ‘If you keep staring at my lady friend, I’m gonna sock you one in the mouth.” It is also rumored that before he decided to resign, the good congressman called Matt (who was in Athens) for advice. Matt flew him down to Athens, where their conversation took place at Amici, in which the congressman was so overwhelmed by how delicious the buffalo chicken garcheemar was and by how many new lady friends Matt lined up for him, he wasn’t so much worried about this scandal as he was wiping that scrumptious garcheemar off of his face. He subsequently follows Matt on twitter at MattStafford9…he now addresses him as Mr. Stafford.
-Inspector G

So go view my offseason work and enjoy yourself.

PS- I’m watching the UK v WKU game and Kentucky looks like shit. 4th quarter and it’s a punter’s wet dream. Uk leading 7-3.

Oh and Nick, Amici’s is f-ing delicious.  Order either the buffalo chicken garcheemar (fried chicken, dipped in buffalo sauce, on top of a Italian bread with melted cheese, and Italian herbs)…get the honey hot with blue cheese.  Also, their wings are the best wings this side of Louisiana.  Try the honey 2X extra crispy.  Awesome place owned by awesome folks.

-Inspector G

 

 

The Most Honest UGA Preview in The World: Offense Edition

Received several requests on Twitter (@REALInspectorG) and abroad to do a season preview about what I thought about the season and the first game.  Get ready for some honest homerism.

OFFENSE:
I look around this unit and I see two things: Loads of Talent and Very Little Depth.  On the plus side, Crowell seems to be as advertised. Murray may be the next Heisman to wear the red and black.  Ben Jones eats grass and 1 techniques for brunch.  From all of the reports I have read and heard (and trust me, I’ve looked at more than my fair share) that our core looks good.  I’m hearing Samuel can still tote the rock.  I’ve been told that the receivers have been stepping up, especially Marlon Brown.  This scares me.  Why?  Because this is the same type of happy talk we hear every year and the average Chinese Buffet frequenting Georgia fan is main-lining it like fresh cut heroin.  I’ll be skeptical on this unit as a whole until we put up 40+ on Boise and the ‘Cocks.  I mean c’mon, I’ve been hearing about how awesome Marlon Brown is for the past two seasons and the only thing he’s been good for is giving humorous facebook status updates about slaying white girls.  Don’t believe me? Go ‘friend’ him.  I look at Murray, Charles, King, and the O-line and I feel like we can be efficient enough to keep us in every game, but unless all this ‘happy talk’ translates on the field, we won’t be world beaters this year.  However, if these guys do step up and start producing on a high level (damn, I sound like a coach) the big O could be scary.  I think Aaron Murray is the best QB in the SEC and if he can have some things fall his way, he may be considered one of the top 3 in the nation by the time this season ends.

QUICK HITTERS:

Best Players/Impacts (in order of importance)
Aaron Murray- Absolute film rat, prepares better than probably every QB in the nation save Kellen Moore, will throw 27 TD’s run for 6 more, will still make more plays with his feet than our fan base will admit and Richt wants.

Ben Jones – ranked 1 or 2 best center (depending on what publication you read), was named the all out leader of the team by Murray and others (as reported by Radi Nabulsi), anchors the 2nd best o-line in the SEC should they all stay healthy.

Orson Charles: I would put him at no 2 but my lineman background wont let me, best TE in the nation, best TE in the nation, best TE in the nation, look for him to be flexed out in space 30-40% of the time as a full-time receiver.

MOST INTERESTED IN SEEING:
Richard Samuel: Why not Crowell?, because I honestly think he will do fine, but so much depends on Samuel from leadership, to blocking assignments, to actually toting the rock.  UGA’s best running game in the past decade was a 2-headed monster featuring Thomas Brown and Knowshon Moreno.  Moreno carried it more, but Brown laid the hammer down.  I think these two need each other to be more than just ‘good’.

PLAYER THAT WILL BE A HOUSEHOLD NAME BY THE END OF THE YEAR
Malcome Mitchell.  Just wait.

-Inspector G

Charlie Sheen: American Hero (and other UGA notables)

Charlie Sheen truly is an American hero.  I’ve grown up watching him and feel like he has participated in the American Experience to the best of his ability and I am glad that he is getting the amount of exposure he is lately, because I fear the coke and the excessive binges will end his life here pretty soon.

 

On the UGA notes:

3 topics I will tear through like a rabid tiger (if you can’t tell this will be a Charlie Sheen flavored post, then you obviously don” t know your ass from Chuck Lorre) will be: The Crowell Infraction, Aaron Murray’s rockin’ bod, and the Dawgs in the Big Dance.

Crowell Situation:

I have lost all shreds of respect for the NCAA since the Cam Gate, Ohio State Tats for Cash, and Tressell’s Messell events.  All  were high profile programs running a muck  whose punishment (if any were EVEN HANDED OUT) was the equivalent of being sent to ‘time out’.  The point that I am trying to make is that the NCAA picks and chooses what they consider ‘rules’, how they ‘enforce’ these ‘rules’ and how they ‘punish’ those that break these ‘rules’.  The Crowell situation is no different.  Here UGA goes and self-reports a minor infraction that may be a violation of the rules, loosely interpreted, and we get hit with an ineligible Crowell (which has now been reinstated) and an April-less Richt on recruiting phone calls.  What a joke.

I want to go on a serious profanity laced tirade to tell you how shitty and obtuse the NCAA is, but I’ve already done that several times, sent them several emails and letters about how I and the rest of the Nation feels about their lunacy (to which I have received no response whatsoever), and publicly scrutinize their every move.  They kind of remind me of our illustrious Government who are so disconnected and removed from the ideas and feelings of those they govern, they forget what they are there for in the first place.

Moreover, I cannot believe the punditry surrounding ‘Crowell Gate’, especially Bill King from the AJC.  This wanna be piece of shit with coke bottom glasses and equally unattractive beard feels that he is the end-all-say-all of UGA football analysis, morality, history, and mythos.  This guy couldn’t get out of a shower of shit.  Read this refuse here. Slippery Slope? How come every time we have a relatively quiet off season with nothing more than praise for good deeds (Blake Sailors is a badass). this fuck, Bill King has nothing better to do than to opine about how ‘Richt is becoming careless” and wondering “where should Richt draw the line?”.  I’ll tell you what, Bill King, you can take your UGA hat you found on the Wal-mart rack, set it on fire and let the flames take your crappy beard, too.  You couldn’t find anything else to write about?  You sir, are pathetic and I hope you read this, get upset, and quit blogging all together.  You know, I’m sure the short-lived career you have at AJC (PRINT NEWS, DUHN DUHN DUHN) will provide such a financial windfall that you can buy a new hat and some fucking contacts.

 

Aaron Murray’s Rockin’ Bod:

Looks like Joe T means business.  I know hype is hype, but when we have every member of the team running faster, lifting more, and gaining good weight, you really can’t argue much.  I’ll just let this pic speak for itself.

Yes, that is OUR QB!

 

Hoop Dawgs; The Never Ending Story that Ended

The tale of the season was summed up in a colorful yet unsatisfying manner on Friday night.  I thought we were definitiely the more talented team, but not the smartest one on the court.  It goes to show again and again how playing smart sometimes over-rules superior talent.

It would be a shocker to see Leslie or Thompkins stay, but if they do we are well poised for another tourney repeat appearance next year.  Especially with Rockdale’s finest Kevin Ware could be on his way here.

Spring Practice update later in the week.  Stay classy.

– Inspector G