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Faurot Field and Mizzou Review

1656 total miles driven through some of the prettiest country I’ve ever seen, but also I will never be driving there again because by the end of the trip, I was so tired of being in the car that I could scream.  I literally did a few times.

I can’t really tell you how proud I was of our team as I was leaving the stadium.  I know that we pissed the bed the first 2 quarters, but coming back like we did, how we did, and dominating all 3 aspects of the game (minus that one broken coverage breakdown) was glimpse into the world that could be the rest of the season.  I also landed several up close and personal seconds on ESPN during the broadcast.  Can’t lie, that was pretty great.

71,000 my ass…

The Review:

Traffic/Traffic Control:  A

Not much traffic to speak of.  The city is of decent size but even leaving the stadium was easy and without major delays.

Parking: A+

We were able to park on the first row of a deck less than a half mile from the stadium and a couple of blocks from downtown for 20.00.  Reasonable and close.  Loved it.

Tailgating: D

All I heard when we got there was how Gameday ready the fans would be.  How awesome and hard they tailgate, how technologically sound they all were.  Well news flash Mizzou fans, the only people that were up and tailgating the way it was supposed to be done at 8:30 AM were Dawgs fans. When you finally got up at noon and made an appearance, the Dawg nation had dominated most of your ‘prime tailgating spots’.  There is no wifi anywhere, no PA systems set up anywhere, the only TV set ups were Dawg fans and your best attempt at emulating us was some sort of parking lot that featured a spectacle of flailing arm flailing inflatable blow up tube guys.

These people are in for a culture shock when they get on a REAL SEC campus.

Talent: C+

It looks like the tree doesn’t have many branches and the apples don’t fall far from the tree.  Just like the UGA bloodline, these people are in desperate need of some new blood to round out their looks.  There were some pretty girls, but I dare say they were as hot as they looked because their overall appeal was inflated based on the status quo bridge trolls that were running around.

Maybe instead of wearing t-shirts as dresses and shitty jeans and flip flops and actually take notes of the REAL SEC coeds, they may have a chance to go to a B.

Downtown Area: B

Their fan base is proud of their town.  And I’m proud of mine, too.  But all I heard was how Columbia was just like Athens, only smaller and how ‘at-home’ I would feel.  One word for that noise: bullshit.  In no way, shape, form, smell, taste, sight, touch, feel, and atmosphere does there downtown area like Athens save narrow streets with trees surrounding them,

Distance to Stadium (from tailgate): A

We wound up at the furthest parking lot away from the stadium, but there was a shuttle.

Fans: A

The most kindhearted and genuine people (as a fan base) you’ll ever meet behind Ole Miss.  Warm, talkative, and welcoming: these people are the epitome of Southern Hospitality and Class.  I even received a gift of orange bitters from a very nice gentleman in Jefferson City.  Georgia fans take note.

However, I recommend that the younger generation of Mizzou fans step up their game.  They were all wearing stupid skinny jeans, hooped stretched ear-lobe bullshit and smoking pot out of a one hitter in public.  I’ve never seen so many college age people vomit at will and witness a very classy (and hot) coed walk up within 30 yards of me, go behind a tree (or so she thought) drop her jeans and take a steaming piss. Then stood up, bare ass for all to see, and cleaned up.  It was kinda gross yet kinda hot.  But it definitely wasn’t classy especially since a no-line pod of porta-pottys was in clear view from ground zero.

Stadium Crowd Control/Entrance: A

Easy as it gets.  Period.

Stadium Atmosphere: B++

No way that stadium holds 71,000 people.  I’m not buying it.  It was loud though, very loud.  And I was on the front row along with about 15 other Dawg fans in a sea of yellow.  Loved it.  Stadium was hyped up all game until it was decided.

Concessions: C

Eh…just so so.

Bathrooms: A

Nothing but old style urine troughs.  LOVED IT.  Easiest in and out job I’ve performed in while.

Stadium Music: C-

The same old same old.

Field Appearance/Play: A

I hate field turf, but the field played relatively fast and it had pretty colors. 😉

Traffic control on exiting: A

Super easy.  I was super happy.

OVERALL: A

This was probably the most fun that I have had on a road trip in some time.  The fans were so welcoming and so much fun to be around.  I really enjoyed the beautiful town and campus and atmosphere.  The game was nerve racking but ultimately loads of fun.  I will be going back.

Thanks for the good time Columbia and The University of Missouri.

-Inspector G

Todd Gurley: Progression In Ya Head

This is what happened:

This is what he be thinking while he were doin’ it:

Step 1: Run the hell over fat offensive lineman

Step 2: Make that cut to my left

Step 3: Straight thug nasty stif arm that bitch to the turf

Step 4: Turn tha corner

Step 5: Throwin’  em offa me

Step 6: Run them shits

Step 7: Celebrate with my boys

Step 8: Snow Bunnies! (This step was not featured in the clip, but we can assure you there are some VERY disappointed Daddy’s out there)

Why not, am I right?

 

This is how we do it.

-Inspector G

Top Ten Reasons UGA beats LSWho

Before we delve into the title content, I must address this whole disrespect issue and do not read the next sentence out loud, or do. WHAT THE FUCK DOES A TEAM NEED TO DO FOR RESPECT? 14 in the country? UGA is ranked nationally lower than Sakerlina when they rank higher than them in their own conference and who has Arkansas really beat? A non-Lattimore Sakerlina. Get the fuck out of here. The BCS is a travesty. Herbie and Corso said UGA would lose against Tech and for all you diehards like me, Herbie dismissed the idea UGA would beat LSU at the 9 o’clock hour with Erin Andrews and David Pollack, who cares? If those two make or break your Saturday brunch in whitey tighties and house loafers just remember, this is what they are capable of. Like anything else on the interwebs, if you search long enough you will find some common f^&#$g sense :

“Quibble all you want about the relative strength of Georgia’s schedule, but you can’t look beyond Louisiana State University and Houston and find another team in the nation on a 10-game winning streak. Georgia earned its place in the Southeastern Con­ference championship game against the supposedly invincible LSU. Whether it can hang with the heavily favored Tigers next Saturday in Atlanta will be the subject of much debate over the next six days.”

I am not asking for a UGA 52 LSU 24 irrational prediction, just give me something with evidence of why we DESERVE to be in this game:

” Boise State and South Carolina combined for eight offensive touchdowns in the first two games. In the 10 [games] since, Georgia has allowed only 12 offensive touchdowns. That includes one or none in seven of the 10 games. This is the second-best defense LSU will face this season. They managed only three field goals (one in overtime) against the only opponent with a better one, Alabama.”

Now to the Top Five

  1. UGA players are pissed, in 2007 we don’t go to national championship because we don’t win SEC, now if UGA does win…. We still don’t go? Thats WTF Story of the Week material right there. (BTW Jim Rome, I still hate you)
  2. QB’s- In “the game of the century” not only were there no touchdowns, but the marine-face-kicker threw 10 times. Ten times. 1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1+1= 10 times. Say whatever you want, but Tech threw more than that last weekend.
  3. QB’s- Because Aaron Murray deserves his own reason/number, he is the undisputed best QB is the SEC and I think we all know if Murray doesn’t play well UGA loses.
  4. Because everyone wants another kiss. On to 5., I am getting all hot.
  5. Few have mentioned it, but Grantham and his badass self are due for a long discussion with AD Greg McGarity about the future, and a SECC works well in both their favor. But mostly Grantham, refer back to UGA beating offers last season.
  6. As cheesy as it may sound, how appropriate is it that UGA win the SECC 2 weeks before Mr. Munson’s Memorial.
  7. I hate to go back to that year, but this sounds so much like what “the experts” were saying about Hawaii in 2007 just on the other side of the ball. Yes, I believe Bobo can play-call better than Mr. Dirty Sanchez can blitz honey badgers.
  8. My bromantic sensations Jarvis Jones and Alec Ogletree, the most underrated LBs I know of. Maybe Jarvis should dye his hair blonde…. NOT.
  9. Balance. With all the offenses: Spread, Option, Spread Option, Power Running, blah blah blah. Try a Balanced Pro-Style Offense, we are two dimensional, throw and pass. TE’s and WR’s. RB’s and a 272 FB. Deal with it. Go down the list of all LSU’s victories, not one balanced offense.
  10. You can pay for school, but you can’t buy class. No, I am not talking about the “class” personality trait that GT fans always bring up after you make them aware of the ass whooping they just received. I am talking about Coach Richt. If you watch anything on the news you see all the trash. Starting with Oregon recruiting, THE Ohio State ….tattoos and auctioned memorabilia, Mike Leach, Lane Kiffin, Syracuse situation and of course Penn State. How thankful should we be of Coach Richt? Forget wins and losses, I can’t sleep at night if I am suspicious of my teams coach being a douche of the day on the regular guys. (Which I confess, Inspector exposed me to) I know UGA’s old AD got a DUI and was caught with a lady “friend whore” but did UGA not handle that swiftly? Coach Richt is as classy as it gets and he has coached an 0-2 hot seat to a 10-2 contract extention. Coach up the guys and get that ring coach. (And watch out Kathryn).

Twitterverse Talk, Slow Ya Rolle

I hope you have had ample time to recover from the WTF Story Of The Week, cause that shit was flawless. It has been a an interesting week after the defense showed up and threw an old fashioned ass whooping last weekend in Florida. Speaking of which, Florida had one first down in the second half. One. And Kwame didn’t even play, could you tell? Me neither. Here are the tweets that put lead in my pencil.

Those two could make Cali an island if they pushed it, your Nemo if they choose.

Inspector G, didn't he play with "Scoop-in-scow?"

This kids hate for Fl is so deep he is ok breaking his leg for the "W"? I love it.

 

 

Your joking right? Knew this kid was special since Sakerlina game.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Now given the latest debacles we have had with our fashion friendly team, you would think that those ideas are cleared in the minds of Bulldawg Nation, that the streak of six wins, and the recent victory over in Jortsville would be enough to calm the sole. But oh hell no, of course not, shit like this shows up on my twitter time line and my head explodes for the

 

Slow ya rolle tweet uh da weak

Your fucking black Starter Walmart jersey will never match the player’s jeryseys on the field again, deal with it. Richt don’t be confused, just put your bullshit filters on. 

 

 

In closing I would like thank the the players who have spiked my interest in the game this weekend, a blow out and playing time for the second and third stringers would have just been too easy- totally not the UGA way. And what is even more sad is that I am nieve enough to think that the rushing game will be fine. If everything goes accordingly, I plan to see freshman (except LeMay and Rome) get some nice playing time, Mason do his thang thang, and I will even provide you with two players to watch: Connor Norman (the other 11) and Arthur Lynch (88). Lynch gets decent playing time as it is, but I see a nice play-action pass to him and at least a pick from Connor Norman. New Mexico State had like 9 interceptions against their last opponent, so that shouldn’t be a stretch right? (Ten minutes later I find their “clubhouse” on ESPN) It was three picks, against Nevada. Is that a city or state? Is Vegas near there? Wait, that can only mean on thing, Wayne Newton? Heck yes, honey where is my fanny pack and sunscreen? We’re heading west!

A Note From The Inspector

As I write this note, I am departing not for Jacksonville for the Cocktail Party, but for New Orleans for one of my good friend’s bachelor party.  I know, I know, I know…I even received a call from another friend of mine who offered up a free ticket to the game.  To make matters even worse, I may be the only real UGA fan that is going on this trip.  One or two may be a supporter of UGA Athletics, but none match yours truly.

As a result, I’m sure I’ll get some sort of blowback when I advise them I will be MIA while watching the game from 3:30 to 6:30 tomorrow afternoon.  Truth be told, I’ve become so accustomed to (much to my chagrin) losing this one, that although I may have hope, I can’t be confident or too excited about this game.

I was at home writing my “Keyes to the game” and I just deleted it.  Not because it wasn’t funny or good, but because I’m just so tired of losing to Florida that I can’t bring myself to post something funny about the keys to the game.

Here are the keys to the game as simple and as honest as I can put it:  Execute, hit them in the mouth, repeat.  That’s a recipe for success in this game, period.  Be man enough to win Georgia!

This sums up my feelings if we are man enough to win tomorrow: “I don’t know where I’ll be then, Rock”, he said – “but I’ll know about it – and I’ll be happy.” (from ‘Win One for the Gipper’)

NOTE:   I’m not predicting a win for us until we actually do win, regardless of what we ‘should’ do.

-Inspector G

THE GAMBLER, WEEK 8

The Gambler rears his beautifully sculpted face again after another impressive 6-3 showing in last week’s picks. There are just three games on this week’s docket pitting ranked teams against each other so Kenny will tackle all of those, in addition to a few other notables. It’s a barren SEC schedule with UGA, USC, UF, and MSU all resting up on the couch this week. HERE WE GO.

NOTRE DAME -8.5 OVER USC
Lane Kiffin called this game Notre Dame’s Super Bowl. Not real sure what Kiffykins means there so we’ll just assume that he was time travelling from eating a gooball and still thinks he’s coaching the Raiders. As far as the game itself, a very rare night game in South Bend combined with USC’s horrific ground game equals bad news for the Trojans, who run a ton of bootlegs to mask the weakness on their OL.

#16 MICHIGAN STATE +8 OVER #6 WISCONSIN
MSU exploited Denard Robinson last week and took away the running aspect of his game. Expect much of the same with Russell Wilson vs. the Spartan D, although Wilson is a better game manager than Robinson and can make big plays with his arm. This game is in East Lansing which is the site of Wisconsin’s last regular season road loss so Sparty gets the nod to at least cover in this one.

#9 ARKANSAS -15 OVER OLE MISS
Houston Nutt has done a BANG UP JOB over in Oxford, MS hasn’t he?

GIGGITY

NORTHWESTERN +4 OVER #21 PENN STATE
The Nittany Lions have looked like shit on the road with close wins over Temple and Indiana. Also, JoePa, you are old as fuck. Seriously bro.

#2 ALABAMA -29 OVER TENNESSEE
This game reminds me of a song I once wrote called “A Poem For My Little Lady” in that Nick Saban will be courting and wooing Derek Dooley just before he prolapses that anus.

MIAMI -2.5 OVER #22 GEORGIA TECH
Paul Johnson is mad as fuck about losing to Virginia (lol) last week but it isn’t going to do any good because he’s mad as fuck all of the time. Have you ever looked at that man’s hideous, dumpy mug and thought otherwise? THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT

#20 AUBURN +22.5 OVER #1 LSU
No clue why the spread is this OUT OF CONTROL HIGH but I don’t see LSU manhandling Auburn tomorrow night with those suspensions in play.

#25 WASHINGTON +20.5 OVER #8 STANFORD
This could be a trap game for that fucking tree team. Seriously, the cardinal is a bird. Get your shit together bros I thought you were a smart school. Anyways, Keith Price has been a welcome surprise for Washington, putting up even better numbers than his now-in-the-NFL predecessor, Jake Locker. Stanford hasn’t played a team with a better than .500 record yet this season so this should be a test for them.

GAMBLER’S “EASY AS A GIRL WITH THE COVINGTON CUT” PICK OF THE WEEK

#10 OREGON -30.5 OVER COLORADO
Colorado is FUCKING AWFUL and by that I mean FUCKING AWFUL. In literally every aspect of being on the field. The Buffs are 114th in scoring offense and 95th in scoring defense. That will certainly not get the job done. The Pac-12 picking up Colorado is akin to the SEC inviting Memphis to the club.

Before we go, we’re hoping you got a chance to watch the Arizona-UCLA game last night. IT WAS AWESOME.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NDhM_-GwwLI

 

What the Dawgs are saying, Slow ya role

It’s Wednesday and while you’re working hard wishing it was October 29, 2011, lets be honest any work that isn’t done already won’t get done until monday. I hope this tickles your fancy for the day while we all rationalize why Grantham didn’t rip that fucktard in Nashville a new one. Wait, he already did. James Franklin reminds me of that kid in class who would never give you that one answer for your homework and then got mad when no one picked him up for their team in P.E. (Ok, so I needed all the answers for homework, but you get it) Any who, I’ll be posting tweets that just made me feel warm, like your first Christmas sweater.

Race jokes? Ha, classic.

Translation, hell I don't know but i like it

Guarantee you he has Jorts .

So Vandy is a... Rival now?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And I just loved this nugget “RT @Bigjohn481: Smh the ref said to me he was gonna flag me cause I body slammed the rb lol that’s what I like to do thou…” thats via Marc Weiszer twitter.

THE SLOW YA ROLE TWEET UH DA WEAK

Black folks make cotton jokes?

So while you recover from what was surely just an amazing experience from the above content, let me take the time to say I think we have something special in Athens. This week’s bye week comes at a perfect time for such a young team, guys are banged up and now the “Dream Team” has experienced half of a season in the SEC. I know I know, with the exception of Sakerlina we didn’t exactly play the strongest SEC teams. But it isn’t like having the strongest schedule is necessarily a good thing, ask Florida. Looking back I am glad what happened in Nashville happened, Grantham and Co. are going to coach the guys up on defense. And you know after Grantham stood up for them, the defense is going to come out hotter than two rats fucking in a tube sock. Those guys have been playing out of their minds all year and with Alec Ogletree and Cornelius Washington back it is going to be interesting to see what Florida can do with injuries that have resulted in a one dimensional offense. And Bobo…. Well I don’t know what the fuck he is doing, but I hadn’t walked a day in the guys shoes and if Richt still has confidence in him then I am in like Flint. Florida’s defense is young upfront so I will be interested to see if they do some silent counts trying to draw guys offsides that is, of course, if the O-line shows discipline. (i.e. 3 and 57, Justin Anderson) Malcolm Mitchell getting healthy on the offensive side of the ball gives a legit deep threat again and arguably the best hands on the team. Crowell getting healthy, whether they admit he is banged up or not, is priceless. Yeah just like those credit card commercials. He is do for another big game after a few productive but not Crowell-like performances and all I can think about is Moreno going off in ’07 against Florida. The emergence of Marlon Brown couldn’t have come soon enough, it feels like he has been here forever and all you here is how good he is at practice. Practice? Oh yea thats where Shaq made free throws…

Jedi Drew

 

Someone Has Got Some ‘Splainin To Do…Part I

There was a time, not too long ago, when going to a UGA game was more than a game.  It was more than a crowd, or an event, or a win.  It was an EXPERIENCE.  An experience that was uniquely Georgia.  An experience that was not only entertaining, but (In my opinion) was an experience that rivaled every other SEC Stadium’s experience bar none.

Sitting in Sanford Stadium on last Saturday night, looking at our field and listening to whale-squeeze for music, longing for 2005 didn’t just extend to our record.  That poor pitiful field (grass and hedges not included).  It has been stripped down to a vanilla, pathetic, former version of what we all want it to be.  In 2008, they removed the red outline.  In 2009, they removed the red outline from the numbers on the field.  In 2010, they made the field numbers and hash marks thinner.  In 2011, THEY REMOVED THE ‘G’ SYMBOL on the goal line!  I know I wasn’t the only one to notice this because I heard the bitching from every corner of the stadium.

The red outlines, the larger lines, and for God’s sake the ‘G’ goal line symbol were all pieces of a sacred and ultimate game experience.  Now they are gone.  Chipping away at all of these things have left me and my game going buddies I sit with not only yearning for the past, but also lamenting the present and dreading the future.

This is what it SHOULD look like on Saturdays...

Where does it stop? Does it even stop.  This all may sound trivial to some of you, but it really strikes a chord with me.  If you take away all of the things that make that Stadium and our football team uniquely Georgia, then what do we become?  Answer: Another mediocre team, with mediocre fans, playing and sobbing together in a mediocre stadium.

Please write, as I have Greg McGarity on this issue.  Maybe some traction can be gained, who knows.  Mark my words, if McGarity ever comes to speak at any of the East Metro Bulldog Club meetings, I will ask him this question.  In the meantime, please email or write the athletic office if you are as concerned as I am.

*I will be posting a Part II on the horid bullshit Zombie Nation trash, music played before kickoffs.

Please feel free to opine in the comments section…

-Inspector G

 

The Nothing Spreads…

Sometimes I hate it when I’m right about my hunches.  I felt that we COULD win.  I felt that we WOULD play well.  I felt that we SHOULD’VE had almost every advantage playing at home.  But I THOUGHT we would still find a way to lose.  And truth be told, I hate that it happened.  Especially late in the fourth quarter, when I started to feel that rush of winning come over me.  Then came the worst. And I sat there, in Section 115 staring out into the nothing-ness that was previously one of the best games I’ve ever seen in Sanford that UGA did not win. Kind of like this:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nBebPeoUbJA&feature=player_detailpage

Except in our case, our native American, purple buffalo hunting, man children lost. G’mork and the Visor got lucky enough breaks to sink their teeth into us one last time.

As funny as it sounds, G’mork’s little speech here has direct parralels with our fan base’s feeling right now.

The way I see it, maybe Mark Richt can find a shard of rock Crowell and Murray and kill that son-of-a-bitch.  But, I’ve been wrong before.

I do want it to be clear, I was really impressed the way the guys stayed in the game, even with their backs against the wall.  That brings some hope.  I was very proud of that.

– Inspector G

 

‘Keyes’ to the game…

Run that I, You'll Be FINE!

…brought to you today by none other than Alan Keyes.  The failed Republican Senate candidate that ran against Premier Obama in the 2004 Illinois Senate election. He was also featured in the smash vom-in-your-mouth hit, “Borat” (but I couldn’t find the clip…shit).  Here are his keyes (if you will) to the game Saturday against the Cocks.

Inspector G: “Alan, thanks for being here.”

Keyes: “Glad to be here…uh…Inspector G is it?”

Inspector G: “Yes it is.  These are prepared questions, so I hope you answered them.”

Keyes: “Oh yeah, I answered them, better than Obama answered his birthing issue.  Or better than he answers teapartiers at townhall meetings.  Or better than he can answer the question about reducing our debt. Or better than…”

Inspector G: “Please, get on with the questions…ok, great, thanks.”

Keyes: “Well, I will give you three keys to the Dawgs winning the game for offense and defense.  Let’s start first with the defense.  First off, we need a strong fiscal front.  I would imagine that the ‘Cocks…hehe I said Cocks…would come out and try to exploit some underneath screens and crossing patterns over the middle much like the Boise St offense did last week.  Although with a running back like Lattimore, I imagine the Visor will think about doing that, but won’t go to that look until UGA has proven they can stop first, Lattimore, and second get pressure on Ashton Kutcher Garcia.  Once the dawgs do so (and I think they will and probably cause at least one turnover) I see the Visor going to that underneath stuff.  The question will be then is whether Grantham will put the D in a Nickel or Dime to stop it.  Since we will not be out of our base 3-4 as much this week I think he will.  I don’t know if Rambo’s return will mean a much better secondary, but who knows.  I’ve been wrong before (see my Senate Campaign circa 2004)”

Inspector G: “That’s a pretty solid report on the D, Alan.  I’m impressed.”

Keyes: “(in a STERN almost offended voice, yet quickly delivered) Why of course it was! This isn’t amateur hour! Now for the offense.  I’m not sure what our destination was, but I look at part of this offense like Obama’s campaign slogan “Change You Can Believe In”.  Keep that change.  Although, Inspector G, I know we differ on part of the offense. You liked the no huddle idea.  I don’t I would like to see them huddle, get their bearings, and then fire away.  They took 78% of the snaps out of the shotgun and the run game was worse than an all-night coke-fest jam binger with Pelosi and Barbara Boxer with no rubbers. Hehe. Seriously, the I is a lost art and that is why the Dawgs have been so successful in this formation.  Also, I want to tell Bobo to attack what the defense gives you.  If they blitz their ass off, run a screen and make them pay.  If their corners bail on every pass play, run something in the middle underneath, or a seamer.  Look, if you breakdown the Boise game, each time UGA said, “Look her meow, I’m gonna match up one and one and tell you to beat me.” they scored a TD.  Simple as that.  Also, those receivers have to catch the ball.  No excuses for dropped passes.  Speaking of recievers, Orson Charles really shouldn’t leave the field. What did he have over 100 yards and a touchdown or two?”

Inspector G: “Actually it was 109 yards and one touchdown”

Keyes: “Whatever.  Also, I would like to see Boykin and Smith take some snaps, just to see what happens.  Fastest players, most explosive players, touching the football=good idea.  Raising taxes, not cutting spending, masking additional “stimulus” to the tune of 450,000,000,000 (yep, that’s BILLION) by stating it is ‘job creation money’ = bad idea.  You know, back when I was running for…”

Inspector G: “Ok, that’s all the time we have.  Thanks Alan. We’ll see you next week…maybe.”

He’s taller in person.

-Inspector G

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