Well, well, well… look who’s back… it’s the original Dirk Diggler himself, Kenny “Goat Nuts” Rogers.
After a long and desolate off-season, we’re back with Kenny’s gamblin’ picks. These picks arrived at the HTT headquarters early this morning via Kenny’s trusted carrier pigeon, Buford. They’re fresh out of Vegas, where Kenny is currently calling home. He’s sent us a few “souvenirs” over the course of the summer, but they hardly classify as such; seeing as a used condom sprinkled with cocaine and an empty bottle of El Toro are hardly mantle-worthy.
Anyways, enough with the babble about Kenny’s inner demons and onto his picks!
Howdy folks, Kenny here. Let us put my past years’ picks in the rear view mirror and start with a clean slate. Sometimes, the world of sports doesn’t agree with my picks, but what can a man do?
N.C. STATE +3.5 over TENNESSEE (Neutral site)
This Friday night matchup showcases a Wolfpack team with potential to make some noise in the ACC Atlantic division assuming that FSU and Clemson will shit the bed per usual, and a thugged out and overrated Vol squad. NC State was previously favored in this game, and I have no clue why that changed, especially with the departure of Da’Rick Rogers. NC State returns most of its 2011 team in tact, minus all three starting linebackers. They were totally different teams if you look at first half vs. second half, but if you’re a believer in momentum being carried into the next season, then NC State is your pick. Realistically, there are only three “gimme” games on the Tennessee schedule. You can bet that Baby Dooley would be out the door in a second if that came to fruition, further fueling the dumpster fire that is the Tennessee football program lately.
Furthermore, I cannot in good conscience trust in a man with a tattoo like the one below.
(24) BOISE STATE +7 over (13) @MICHIGAN STATE
I’m sticking with the upset trend on this one. Michigan State has one of the most talented and deepest linebacking corps in the nation, but like Boise State, they’re breaking in a new QB.
@PENN STATE -6 over OHIO
This one is about as risky as sending the grandkids over to Sandusky for a conjugal visit. Penn State might wanna go ahead and slip on down to DII for a while.
MIAMI -2 over @BOSTON COLLEGE
LOL @ Miami only being favored by two over BC.
AUBURN +3.5 over (14) CLEMSON (Neutral site)
SO MUCH FUCKING ORANGE OH GOD MAKE IT STOP
@ (1) LSU -43 over NORTH TEXAS
LSU has won the last three games against the Mean Green by a combined score of 149-6. I think this one is a safe bet.
(2) ALABAMA -14 over (8) MICHIGAN (Neutral site)
Intriguing game here between the SEC’s best and the Big10’s best. Both teams are hoping to be in the MNC game conversation, but one of them will likely bow out of those talks after Saturday night. And by bow out I mean that Alabama is going to forcefully, and sexually, make the Wolverines to do things that no psychiatrist will ever be able to fix. Michigan and Denard Robinson rely heavily on big offensive plays, and
Kirby Smart Nick Saban is really fucking good at not letting that happen. One of these has to give.
@ (16) VIRGINIA TECH -7.5 over GEORGIA TECH
Logan Thomas is Cam Newton without the drama and smarmyness and he will have a heyday with the Al Groh-led Yellow Jacket defense. And yes, Al Groh is still alive but he is at that stage where his diaper needs to be changed on the sidelines about 4-5 times per game.
@ (6) GEORGIA -38 over BUFFALO
I mean, seriously, it’s Buffalo. Plus the field is pretty.
It’s Wednesday and while you’re
working hard wishing it was October 29, 2011, lets be honest any work that isn’t done already won’t get done until monday. I hope this tickles your fancy for the day while we all rationalize why Grantham didn’t rip that fucktard in Nashville a new one. Wait, he already did. James Franklin reminds me of that kid in class who would never give you that one answer for your homework and then got mad when no one picked him up for their team in P.E. (Ok, so I needed all the answers for homework, but you get it) Any who, I’ll be posting tweets that just made me feel warm, like your first Christmas sweater.
THE SLOW YA ROLE TWEET UH DA WEAK
So while you recover from what was surely just an amazing experience from the above content, let me take the time to say I think we have something special in Athens. This week’s bye week comes at a perfect time for such a young team, guys are banged up and now the “Dream Team” has experienced half of a season in the SEC. I know I know, with the exception of Sakerlina we didn’t exactly play the strongest SEC teams. But it isn’t like having the strongest schedule is necessarily a good thing, ask Florida. Looking back I am glad what happened in Nashville happened, Grantham and Co. are going to coach the guys up on defense. And you know after Grantham stood up for them, the defense is going to come out hotter than two rats fucking in a tube sock. Those guys have been playing out of their minds all year and with Alec Ogletree and Cornelius Washington back it is going to be interesting to see what Florida can do with injuries that have resulted in a one dimensional offense. And Bobo…. Well I don’t know what the fuck he is doing, but I hadn’t walked a day in the guys shoes and if Richt still has confidence in him then I am in like Flint. Florida’s defense is young upfront so I will be interested to see if they do some silent counts trying to draw guys offsides that is, of course, if the O-line shows discipline. (i.e. 3 and 57, Justin Anderson) Malcolm Mitchell getting healthy on the offensive side of the ball gives a legit deep threat again and arguably the best hands on the team. Crowell getting healthy, whether they admit he is banged up or not, is priceless. Yeah just like those credit card commercials. He is do for another big game after a few productive but not Crowell-like performances and all I can think about is Moreno going off in ’07 against Florida. The emergence of Marlon Brown couldn’t have come soon enough, it feels like he has been here forever and all you here is how good he is at practice. Practice? Oh yea thats where Shaq made free throws…