THE GAMBLER, WEEK 8
The Gambler rears his beautifully sculpted face again after another impressive 6-3 showing in last week’s picks. There are just three games on this week’s docket pitting ranked teams against each other so Kenny will tackle all of those, in addition to a few other notables. It’s a barren SEC schedule with UGA, USC, UF, and MSU all resting up on the couch this week. HERE WE GO.
NOTRE DAME -8.5 OVER USC
Lane Kiffin called this game Notre Dame’s Super Bowl. Not real sure what Kiffykins means there so we’ll just assume that he was time travelling from eating a gooball and still thinks he’s coaching the Raiders. As far as the game itself, a very rare night game in South Bend combined with USC’s horrific ground game equals bad news for the Trojans, who run a ton of bootlegs to mask the weakness on their OL.
#16 MICHIGAN STATE +8 OVER #6 WISCONSIN
MSU exploited Denard Robinson last week and took away the running aspect of his game. Expect much of the same with Russell Wilson vs. the Spartan D, although Wilson is a better game manager than Robinson and can make big plays with his arm. This game is in East Lansing which is the site of Wisconsin’s last regular season road loss so Sparty gets the nod to at least cover in this one.
#9 ARKANSAS -15 OVER OLE MISS
Houston Nutt has done a BANG UP JOB over in Oxford, MS hasn’t he?
NORTHWESTERN +4 OVER #21 PENN STATE
The Nittany Lions have looked like shit on the road with close wins over Temple and Indiana. Also, JoePa, you are old as fuck. Seriously bro.
#2 ALABAMA -29 OVER TENNESSEE
This game reminds me of a song I once wrote called “A Poem For My Little Lady” in that Nick Saban will be courting and wooing Derek Dooley just before he prolapses that anus.
MIAMI -2.5 OVER #22 GEORGIA TECH
Paul Johnson is mad as fuck about losing to Virginia (lol) last week but it isn’t going to do any good because he’s mad as fuck all of the time. Have you ever looked at that man’s hideous, dumpy mug and thought otherwise? THAT’S WHAT I THOUGHT
#20 AUBURN +22.5 OVER #1 LSU
No clue why the spread is this OUT OF CONTROL HIGH but I don’t see LSU manhandling Auburn tomorrow night with those suspensions in play.
#25 WASHINGTON +20.5 OVER #8 STANFORD
This could be a trap game for that fucking tree team. Seriously, the cardinal is a bird. Get your shit together bros I thought you were a smart school. Anyways, Keith Price has been a welcome surprise for Washington, putting up even better numbers than his now-in-the-NFL predecessor, Jake Locker. Stanford hasn’t played a team with a better than .500 record yet this season so this should be a test for them.
GAMBLER’S “EASY AS A GIRL WITH THE COVINGTON CUT” PICK OF THE WEEK
#10 OREGON -30.5 OVER COLORADO
Colorado is FUCKING AWFUL and by that I mean FUCKING AWFUL. In literally every aspect of being on the field. The Buffs are 114th in scoring offense and 95th in scoring defense. That will certainly not get the job done. The Pac-12 picking up Colorado is akin to the SEC inviting Memphis to the club.
Before we go, we’re hoping you got a chance to watch the Arizona-UCLA game last night. IT WAS AWESOME.