‘Keyes’ to the Game…Ole Miss Rebel Bear/Hottie Totti Edition

Again brought to you by none other than the man himself, no 62 In the East Illinois State Fighting June Bugs circa 1968 program and no 1 in your hearts, the savior of brothers in conservative altruism…without further adieu: Mr. Alan Keyes!

"The Hot-Seat Bowl? What, is Obama gonna be there?"

 

Inspector G: So welcome back, Alan…

Keyes: Good to be here, Inspector….good to be here…I tell ya what.  This crank Obama.  He is seriously using bridges for props now?  Shovel Ready?  What does that even mean?  I know that…

Inspector G:  Sir, you do realize this is a Sports site, right?

Keyes:  Of course I do.  Who do you think I am?  Anthony Weiner?  Some pale faced fool without the chops?

Inspector G:  No sir.  Just give me your ‘keyes’ to the game so I can get the hell out of this Chinese Buffet.  I find it rather appauling you insisted on meeting here.

Keyes: Look, this Moo Goo Gai Pan is the shiat.  Hold on a sec…waiter!  (Snaps fingers)   Waiter?! (shakes empty glass with ice and a young man of oriental descent approaches).  Look here, (while doing some weird hand motions and speaking to the waiter in a typical American assholish manner) Youuu make meee crab rangooonsss?  (The waiter simply answers, with no accent, ‘Sure.  I’ll be right back.)  Hmm..that guy apparently spoke engrish….hahaha.

Anyways Inspector, I’ll get to the point.  This Georgia team has been a confusing one to say the least.  We have that debacle in the Dome.  Then turn around and have a good showing against a very legit South Carolina team.  It could’ve been great but we couldn’t take care of the ball.  I honestly see a lot of promise in this team.  I wont go on record to say they will be world beaters by the end of the season, but they might.  This game really shouldn’t tell us too much overall (unless they lose).  I’m kinda expecting a blowout, actually.

Here’s how they’ll do it: A very balanced attack on offense.  I know that is kind of cliche when speaking of the offense lately, but I really feel that this will be one of those game where we will have 240 passing yards 200 rushing yards and score 42-48 points.  I see Crowell getting the call for the corner several times early and if we can just slow down their OLB’s he should be off to the races.  I can also see Murray letting it rip.  He’s been above average this year, but not stellar.  I think this game is primed for him to become that QB we all wanted to see.

Look, Ole Miss Rebel Hottie Bear Admiral Ackbars took one in the mouth last week against Vandy.  They may be playing for the Nuttsters job, but whose to say the underclassmen even want him there anymore.  He’s like Les Miles Lite: All the calories, half the flavor.  I think this team is fragile and on the brink.  This is quite an advantage for the dawgs in my opinion and I think they are just the team to push them off the ledge.

For the defense I anticipate another above average game.  Maybe a turnover mid-way through, but I don’t see the defense pick 6-ing like Vandy did.  Why you ask?  Because poor QB play for the opposing team doesn’t seem to ever be the norm for UGA since Reggie Ball left Tech.  I see very strong showings on third downs, as has been the case all year.  But where I’m prediciting something new is in the sack department.  This Quarterback Ole Miss has is screwed up mind fucked after last weeks debacle.  After throwing so many picks last week, he will be uber prone to hold hold hold onto the ball versus throwing it into the grasp of our safeties.  I predict 6 sacks for the game a la a corner blitz, jones blitz, and John Jenkins bone crusher bullrush.

So there ya go.

Inspector G:  Well, thanks Alan.  That was great.  Appreciate you taking the…

Keyes: Now for something super special: my talking points for meet the press tonight…

Inspector G: OK, cut.

-Inspector G

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