Monthly Archives: December 2010

Damn Good Dawg…

Sometimes we all get carried away with this sport, with its players, and with the results.  A serious post on HTT?  Surely you jest.  But, I felt compelled to share this with everyone.  Aron White is a pretty good tight end.  He’s an even better person, leader, and ambassador of UGA.  After reading his commencement speech, I figured the latter out.  So should you:

I would like to start by saying good morning and welcome to our friends and family that have joined us to commemorate this occasion. But more importantly I would like to say congratulations to all of my fellow graduates.

Some of you might have recognized my name or face and thought to yourself, ‘What is a football player doing giving our commencement speech? Haven’t we given them enough attention? Surely we could have found a more intelligent or eloquent speaker.’ To which I would reply I am sure both of those things could have been accomplished. I certainly never dreamed when I called coach Mark Richt and told him I wanted to be a Bulldawg that I would be speaking to my graduating class three and a half years after arriving on campus. But I have always valued my education. When I chose to come to the University of Georgia, I did so not only because of the athletic opportunities that I was offered, but also for the strong academic tradition that I would be blessed to be a part of. That is why I consider every day a blessing that I have spent here at this university.

I’m sure we would all agree that college days were the best of our lives thus far. We have met life long friends and formed invaluable connections, spent countless hours at the MLC cramming for tests or writing last minute papers. We have even cursed the parking services when we’ve found a pink envelope tucked neatly underneath our windshield wiper. We have been both shocked and intrigued as we read the headlines of the Red and Black. We have joined fraternities, sororities and other student organizations. And though my game day experience was a little different from all of yours, we’ve all spent our Saturdays at Sanford Stadium bleeding red and black. Georgia truly is everything that one could ask for in a university. From athletics to academics to Greek life to night life, we have done it all.

During our college days we have witnessed disasters such as the Haiti earthquake and the BP spill.We have seen innovations and technologies such as Facebook and the iPhone sweep over the nation and captivate our imaginations. We have seen multiple national championships in various sports. We have been the first class to have four different mascots while in attendance at Georgia. We witnessed three UGA students in just three years be named as Rhodes Scholars, two of which came in a single year. We have witnessed the election of the first African American president of the United States. We are working through one of the worst economic downturns in our country’s history and we are graduating into the most competitive job market since we have been alive. But I say to my graduating class do not fear or be dismayed.

Our college careers have been no different than our predecessors. We are still a top twenty public university. We have sat and listened to global leaders in our respective fields of study. We have read from the classics. We have even been named the number one party school in America. Given our record this year, at least we are number one in something. Time and time again we have stood up to the expectation placed upon us by those that have come before us.

I personally have stood next to some of the greatest athletes to wear the silver britches. I have played against first round draft picks. I have heard the crowds cheer from the hallowed sod between the hedges. I have received numerous academic and athletic awards. But I would not tell you that I am worthy to speak at an occasion such as this….. Not until today. It is not until today that I feel worthy to speak to all of you because today is the day that I will have the honor to cross under the famed Georgia arch. I know that my mother and father have not felt the pride they feel at this very moment. I know this because all other achievements and accolades in my life have fallen short of everything that a degree from this great university stands for. A degree from Georgia represents our entire college experience. It represents the knowledge we have aquired through our classroms. It represents the maturity we now possess. It represents the character that we have demonstrated through on and off campus activities. And for a lucky few of us, the honor of representing UGA through intercollegiate athletics. Sir Thomas Carlyle once said, “what an enormous magnifier is tradition!.” I could not be more honored to be a part of the tradition of commencement and have the chance to share with all of you just how big of an accomplishment you have achieved.

In closing, to all those sitting before me who will receive their degrees today I applaud you. The world is full of limitless possibilities. And though I cannot predict the future as we make our transitions from undergraduates to graduates I have no doubt that we are prepared for the world. In my opinion the question should be………. Is the world prepared for us? Congratulation graduates.

You funny guys…

ok, just wanted to share this as a point of reference…here are the top searches that ping our site, here (no particular order, but I think you get the picture): “greg mcelroy sister, greg mcelroy’s sister, mcelroy sister, greg mcelroy + sister, nick saban pissed after auburn”

Ha! That’s Classic.

Here, just for old times sake:

-Inspector G

Burrow Brackett’s Crystal Ball…

 

NOT WORK SAFE!!!!

Gentlemen, adolescent boys, guys, mens, bears, power bottoms, and UGA lovin’ twinks:

Here is your Burrow Brackett Crystal ball.  Yours truly will be transcribing this report, verbatim, from Mr. Brackett so remember: these are his words and not mine.  Sorry for the alternative lifestyle opening, but Burrow advised that was the only way we could keep him on as a contributor (that and Captain owes him a slush puppy).

(Imagine your inner voice as a homosexual toddler pageant coordinator from Dothan, AL and it will be much funnier.) 

“Heyy ya’ll!!!!  It’s me, Burrow!  Here for my season ending balls…I mean season ending crystal ball.  Fore-casted for you, the fans!  Because that’s what dudes do, and I’m kind of a dude and like dudes, so there.

Ok, Inspector G  gave me these questions to answer and I took them home looked into my challenge XL 3000 butt plug, I ah-hem, I mean crystal ball and came up with these answers.

1) Will Mark Richt be back at UGA next year?   A: Well I sure hope so!  He is a dream boat and looks like he is could be the Kenny to my Loggins (I just love him!).  But seriously, yes.  I do believe not only will Richt be back, but he will not be lured to any other school, Miami, Colorado, etc.  He has won nearly 100 games in 10 years, he deserves another year to try to get everything back under control.  I feel that Richt really does a good job, but waited 1 year too late to pull the trigger on replacing his defensive staff.  Next year will see if these major changes paid any dividends.

2) What about Bobo?  A: What about Smooches that male prostitute on Spring and 14th? They both are increasingly adept at what they do and they both will be back next year in their respective professions.  Bobo is like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde the Salami: he hits big, but then abandons what has been working to run some sort of inside RB screen or some off-tackle fail running play, mostly just for the sake of mixing it up and running it.  I agree, you have to have some variety in play calling, but especially this year when your defense was unlikely to bail you out, you have to get your hand on the starter and your foot on the gas.  I just hope that Bobo breaks this down, realizes that about himself and commits it to memory.  But, I cannot argue that his pro-style philosophy works.  We have scored tons of points this year.

3) What is our biggest weakness that needs to be fixed in the offseason?  A: Easy, 2.  First, we need to get a rock hard, rock toting monster from Carver-Columbus: Isaiah Crowell.  And then we also need to get a baby-gobbler 6’2″ 350 pound JUCO stud nose guard to make Grantham’s scheme work.   No 2, replace or current strength and conditioning coordinator, which I heard was done today.  Scrap our program we are using, get with the times, and get the kids so far into shape that they can run wind sprints in a hurricane without getting tired.

4) Thoughts on the Chic-Fi-La Kickoff next year against Boise St?  A: MMMMMM…MMMMM….MMMMM Kellen Moore, he really has some cute teeth, huh?  I like the match-up, the atmosphere will be electric.  I heard that the Inspector is selling his first born to buy tickets to that..haha.  This could actually either be the best thing for UGA’s football team next year or the worst.  Keeping VA Tech in mind, a UGA loss here would be everything short of devastating to start the season.  However, if we win, it will put those no-talent ass-clowns in their place, get UGA national press coverage, and set a mighty strong tone for the season.

5) Give me a new breakout player on offense in 2011… A: Umm, first off, silly-goose, that is not a question, but my crystal ball says (not assuming Crowell is in the line-up) Marlon Brown.  Hyped up, hyped down, whatever.  I’m ready for him to prove it, next year he is a junior and either he has it or not.  we shall see.  I also like Wooten.  Woot is explosive and now that Green will be gone, I see him demanding touches by his play-making ability, alone.

5) Same response, but for defense…  A: I’m not a big fan of church, but I am a big fan of Christian Robinson.  That play he made against UF when he went through that blocker alone was enough.  But look for UGA to have the best, most athletic inside backers in the league next year.  Jarvis Jones and Richard Samuel.  Unleash the dragons.  (I REALLY WANNA SEE 2 DRAGONS!!!).

6) Ok some quick hitters….several….go!!!

– Do you think UGA should have a throwback day next year with white pants, red jerseys and silver helmets?  Yes, it would look good, kinda like The ohio state, but it would be cool.

-How about black out in the dome to start off ther season?  Nope, let us wear our norms.  No gimmicks needed.

-Joe T II to s and c director, good move?   Yes.  The ex-players really seem to like the move, that’s all we can judge by now until next season.

-Sexiest woman on the planet?  Keith Evra.

-Whoopi Goldberg, Hillary Clinton, and Rosie Odonnell.  You got to marry one, kill one, fuck one. Go!   A: Umm…nervous….Mary Clinton, kill rosie, fuck Whoopi.

-Biggest disappointment on the season?  being 6-6 while raping the turnover margin and increasing our offensive ppg buy over 11 per game.

-Biggest surprise? Aaron Murray…LIGHTS OUT.

-Who would you rather nail?  Chad Scott or Stephen Scott?  I exclude myself from this, since I’ve done them both.”

-Inspector G

Pleadin’ Da Fif, Cam Newton Style…

NCAA BY-LAW: 14.01.3.2
Financial Aid.
“If at any time before or after matriculation in a member institution a student-athlete or any member of his/her family receives or agrees to receive, directly or indirectly, any aid or assistance beyond or in addition to that permitted by the Bylaws of this Conference (except such aid or assistance as such student-athlete may receive from those persons on whom the student is naturally or legally dependent for support), such student-athlete shall be ineligible for competition in any intercollegiate sport within the Conference for the remainder of his/her college career.”

This is so ridiculous.  This is so out of control, so unfair, so f-ing glaring that Stevie Wonder could tell you that it is wrong.  If you have been living under the ‘College Football News’ rock, Auburn declared Cam Newton ineligible on Monday, just for the NCAA to conveniently conclude their investigation of Cam-Gate and declare him eligible without any strings attached.  ‘Why is that a big deal, Inspector G?  That means he didn’t do anything, right?’ Um…no.  Let’s review what the NCAA League of Nation Keystone Cops Investigators did find:

FACT: Cecil Newton (Cam’s shameful, pathetic, excuse for a minister father) DID IN FACT TAKE PART IN A ‘PAY-TO-PLAY’ AGREEMENT FOR CAM!!!

FACT:  The NCAA knows the aforementioned about Cam Newton’s faja

FACT: Cam’s services were solicited, marketed, and probably sold to Auburn by his father.

FACT: The NCAA had this to say (paraphrased, of course):

Auburn University football student-athlete Cam Newton is immediately eligible to compete, according to a decision today by the NCAA student-athlete reinstatement staff. The NCAA concluded on Monday that a violation of amateurism rules occurred, therefore Auburn University declared the student-athlete ineligible yesterday for violations of NCAA amateurism rules.When a school discovers an NCAA rules violation has occurred, it must declare the student-athlete ineligible and may request the student-athlete’s eligibility be reinstated. Reinstatement decisions are made by the NCAA national office staff and can include conditions such as withholding from competition and repayment of extra benefits. Newton was reinstated without any conditions.”

So let me get this straight…any family member, legal guardian, representative, teacher, High School Football Coach, prostitute, homeless person, or a minister can solicit, market, and demand payment for an amateur collegiate athlete, but as long as they send said athlete out of the room when they do it, his eligibility will not be questioned?  Alright then, in that case, look for the aforementioned group of people to start “gettin’ mines” type attitudes when their athletes start being recruited.

I cannot believe this has happened.  The NCAA has lost complete control.  They have lost every shred of integrity they have left.  The leadership should be ripped out of their over-priced chairs, flogged, and given my stomach virus I had over Thanksgiving.

SOMEBODY PLEASE COMMENT ON THIS…I CANNOT BE THE ONLY ONE UPSET AND IN DISBELIEF…

And to you stupid ass Auburn fan out there: thinking this is over and that it is a fair ruling, I implore you to use your shitty education to think about everything that has happened.  Think how negligent and obtuse this decision is….now, imagine Cam Newton was playing for Alabama.

“Inspector G! Inspector G!  What should we do?”  I’ll tell you: call and write the NCAA.  I have already left them 2 very cordial and professional voice messages and am also sending them a heart-felt letter.  I suggest you do the same. And since I love y’all so much, here is their contact information:

The National Collegiate Athletic Association
700 W. Washington Street
P.O. Box 6222
Indianapolis, Indiana 46206-6222

Phone: 317/917-6222
Fax: 317/917-6888

Whiskey Tango Foxtrot. And yes, I know I mentioned ‘aforementioned’ twice in this post.

-Inspector G