Monthly Archives: November 2010

Hardly Fair’ley’…

You all saw that bullshit at the end of the game.  I did too.  Captain had a profanity laced tirade that I heard while I was showering, we promptly broke a coffee table.

That mother fucker Fairley was dirty, unconscionable, and down right heinous.  And now after all that happened, he is not even going to be suspended for his part in “Operation Injure Aaron Murray 2010”.

As you may or may not recall, our own Ben Jones was heavily scrutinized when he had an illegal chop block on a player in the MSU game.  The next week, the SEC with Richt on board (and rightly so) suspended Ben for a half.  What did Fairley get for something even more egregious? That’s right, not a recommended suspension frm Mike ‘Doo-doo Pants’ Slive and the SEC.  Nope, his discipline will be handled ‘internally’.  Now this internal handling will be by the same classless asshole who riled up his team an added fuel to the fire during the “scuffle’.  Chizick.  That’s right, the enabler.

Mike “Doo-doo Pants” Slive has shown two things in the past week: 1) He has no regard for protection quarterbacks in the SEC whose names aren’t Mallett or Newton  and 2) well Pontius Pilate* his way through damning circumstances.  If this guy thinks he is providing good, strong, and unbiased leadership, he is on par with Obama thinking Healthcare was a good idea.

But lets not forget who let all of the Fairley mess get out of control: The SEC Refs.  For being the most premier Conference in the land, they sure do have a shitty collections of refs.  From the Arkansas mis-call last and AJ Green’s celebration last year, to this Fairley debacle this year, they ought to be revamped like a hookers lady parts.  But I digress, this also speaks volumes of our ‘fearless’ leader, Doo-Doo Slive.

And to the Auburn fans out there: FUUUCCKKK You!  You can’t defend the indefensible.  You can’t go back and say, ‘well he was blocked int o Murray’, you can’t honestly sit there and tell me UGA started that.  When Caleb King gives an after game quote that said “We were tired of the 30 [personal fouls] that weren’t called” against Auburn, you CAN’T DEFEND IT.  In this guy’s eyes, you have turned this from a friendly rivalry to a fuck fest and once the FBI and NCAA comes down on your beloved University, I will be the one dancing in the end zone.

I was going to knock out a profanity laced tirade, but I just couldn’t do it.  Hopefully this provided some insight, if not, go back to Auburn.

-Inspector G

PS, I’m pissed Toomer’s Corner wasn’t burned to the fucking ground.  This is not a fmaily site, so I’m not going to pretend that it is.

*Pulling a Pontius Pilate is washing your hands clean and giving a ‘will I didn’t do it’ attitude, maybe I should now call it pulling a Slive.

The Gambler, week 10

We’d like to formally apologize for the Gambler’s absence last week. He was in the wilderness thinning out the deer population using his controversial “drop outta the tree on top of him and snap his fucking neck” technique.

Anyways, Kenny is back this week with his notable week 10 college football wager lines. He’s also been sending taunts and threatening text messages to Josh Nesbitt.

I was raised on the dairy, bitch.

#17 OKLAHOMA STATE -7.5 VS. #21 BAYLOR
The Cowboys’ offense is nearly as impressive as Oregon’s WARP SPEED™ offense. OSU is averaging 526 yards per game which amounts to #3 nationally in points per game. I think the Bears are outmanned in this one.

CLEMSON -3.5 VS. #25 N.C. STATE
Is Dabo stock up or down? Sell, hold, or buy? Expect the ACC’s parity and unpredictability to claim its next victim: NC State.

#10 LSU +6.5 @ #6 ALABAMA
I said the same thing about Alabama-Tennessee a few weeks back and ended up eating my words, but I’ve got the same gut feel about this game. Close with lots of gambles, but only by Les Miles. One of these will pay off and the Tigers may pull of the upset because everyone associated with Alabama’s football program is too busy paying attention to the Cam Newton situation. Finebaum is actually circle-jerking on air RIGHT NOW with a caller from Talladega who is likely a laid off forklift operator with methamphetamine in his system.

HI THERE MISTER FINE-BAUUUUUM  LOVE YOU AND YOUR SHOW BY THE WAY THIS IS MARTY SKINNER FROM TALLADEGA. LONG TIME LISTENER FIRST TIME CALLER, HEH. I JUST WANNA KNOW WHAT YEW THANK BOUT THEM (redacted) CHICKEN-TIGER-EAGLES FROM AUBURN AND THEIR CHEATIN’ QUARTERBACK TAKIN ALL THAT MONEY FROM POOR OL’ COWBELLERS.

#18 ARKANSAS +4 @ #19 SAKERLINA
Both of these teams are coming off of victories over the SEC’s bottom feeders (aka the great state of Tennessee) with Arkansas clearly having the better day. Carolina has played the SEC west better than anyone from the east so far this season so this could go either way.

MID-MAJOR SHITSTORM:

#5 UTAH +4.5 VS. #3 TCU
Gary Patterson’s squad heads to Mormonland to take on the Utes without their starting NT Kelly Griffin who is out with a season-ending ankle injury. As Georgia fans well know, dominant play from the NT position goes a long way so this one could go the way of the Ute.

HAWAII +21 @ #4 BOISE STATE
This is the first of two stumbling blocks left on the Broncos’ schedule. It’s unlikely that Hawaii will win straight-up, but I can pray. Last night I was torn between rooting against GT (because their fans do it to us) and rooting against VT (to squash Boise’s BCS dreams). Such a catch-22.

Off to Augusta…

Dear HTT Subscribers, Readers, and Fans:

Captain and I do apologize for the lack of posts this week. We have been very busy. I, for one, am about to embark on a work conference to Augusta.

Starting next week we”ll have some cool things lined up: I have an in depth interview with site favorite, Burrow Brackett, also there will be some this and that’s before the Auburn game. We will also keep our eyes on Cam Newton and I’m sure Captain will have a witty gif or two on that.

Have a great weekend! Go Dawgs!

– Inspector G

On a serious note…

I could go on another blowhard power diatribe about the election results today, but I will keep it short and sweet.

I am proud to be an American today. What a great day for free-thinkers, freedom lovers, and patriots alike.

The nation has finally figured out:
1) The Government doesn’t provide jobs, they provide the security for a market place where producers and entrepreneurs can creat commerce.

2) Spending ourselves into oblivion is not the best way to “improve” the economy. Maybe cutting spending is a more sensible solution.

3) Realized this President is a bumbling idiot socialist sycophant who has never had real world experience and shows it every time he opens his mouth.

4) The large gain by Republicans is a complete and deliberate message to and reflection of our fucktard President.

Sit back and relax tonight Dawgs fans, sometimes there are more important things than Football.

-Inspector G