Monthly Archives: October 2010

Inspector’s Go-Go Fantasy Football C-C-C-Combo Breaker…Week 6

By now you know: Brett “Fantastic Phallice” Farve texts his dick to women….hell, who doesn’t?

Welcome to Week 6:

You know who to start, so I’m not going to go over anything you wouldn’t do…just more in depth.

QB’s With Weak Knees:     “Halt, who goes there?, Why, it doth be Aaron Rodgers.” Take caution, I say.  I have to make this decision myself, so (believe it or not) I picked up Joe Flacco.  I know, I know.  I have threw him under the bus so much, but he is projected high, plays a weak secondary and he is due.  If not Flacco, then choose Matt Cassel.  He is also due and plays a weak secondary.

Drew Brees, he’ll be fine, start him.

Big Ben…welcome back from “raping wet slits” from mine and Captain’s Alma Mater.  Did she taste like Vegas but sweeter?…Start him.

Ride the Pine: D. Mcnabb, Kevin Kolb, Shaun Hill.  If you have to ask, you don’t wanna know.

RB’s To Please: Jamal Charles, oh man, I am so glad I picked him up.  He is the Chiefs best weapon and against a run susceptible defense, he might have a field day.

Michael Bush, I picked him up, destroyed my opponent.  Even if Mcfadden plays, it will not be much.  Look for Bush BIG.

Ryan Torain: If you were a Pierre Thomas or Thomas Jones or Clinton Protis Owner and did not pick him up, you dumb.  He may not be great, but he will be better in RB 2 then someone named above or Ryan Matthews or Shonn Greene.  Start him.

Ride the Pine: J. Best (no Calvin, or presumably no Calvin, monitor this one), Anyone as a Saints RB not named Bush or Thomas, Ronnie Brown…really?

WR’s to Card:  Brandon Lloyd, I am starting him.  I have regretted it for 2 weeks in a row and now let’s see if I regret it this week.  At least it will definitively show if he is for real or not. Jacoby Jones, let’s see if the waiver wires were correct. Mark Thomas (Jax)…who?  The Jax best and most targeted receiver.

Maybe’s: Deion Branch…its a gut feeling, but you have to feel it, i don’t.

TE Streaks:   Only this: PICK UP A HERNANDEZ…Moss grows fast on a rolling stone, but he is not in NE no more.  Especially if you lost J. Finley.

Week 6 is tough, it is gut check time.  Start your starters, research the rest, take a gamble.

-Inspector G

Caleb King gets the Death Penalty…Sort of…

So it’s no front page news now that Caleb King has been giving a 2 game suspension for some bullshit lapse of judgement.

I agree with the penalty albeit, it is pretty harsh for failing to appear for a traffic ticket.  What I don’t understand is how easy it has seemed for the Bulldawg Nation to get so down on this kid.  Wow, speeding ticket.  He forgot to pay.  He is a kid, kids forget. An estimated 235,000 Americans get arrested over the same lapse in judgement anually.

Paul Westerdawg, over at The Georgia Sports Blog said it best, I think (and I’m jealous he wrote this before I did):

“Eleven arrest this season is complete and total non-sense.  I recognize that there’s a MASSIVE disconnect (as Blutarsky called it) between the UGA Administration and the surrounding police force for this to be an issue with Caleb.  I also recognize that at many other schools this never results in an arrest. But it doesn’t matter.  Eleven arrests is eleven arrests.  And it’s not all paperwork and boys will be boys stuff.

It’s already hurting us with recruiting as Bama is using our arrest problem to help sway Crowell.  And that’s why I care the most.

I also care because I think it speaks to the leadership of the program at the player level.  The team needs a gigantic kick in the ass, and it has needed one for a long time.  At some point, that kick in the ass has to come from a guy like Shockley, Pollack, Greene, Gilbert, etc.  There’s a black hole in terms of leadership within the team that’s existed since the 2007 season ended.

Don’t think so?  We were in a four game losing streak without a players only meeting being called. That’s incomprehensible to me. As a point of comparison, LSU was 5-0 and had a players only meeting after almost losing a game.

Teams with great leaders have fewer off the field problems, and they win more on the field.

Until our Mark Richt and our Strength and Conditioning program get back into the business of producing real leaders, I don’t expect that our on the field discipline or our arrest record will improve.  And yes…that’s what the S&C program used to brag about the most. Not the size of our players or fictitious 40 times, but the program’s ability to develop true leadership.”

I, for one, do not think this is a big deal and have the team not had 11 prior arrests, this would be a non-issue.  Keep your head up Caleb, and see ya in two weeks.

Welcome to the show Boo Malcome!!!  I am excitied to see what this guy can do.  He is running (pun INTENDED) about 6′-2″, 220 lbs, around a 4.5-4.6 40 time.  Not a speed demon, but his size and power were renown on the field and that is why he is on scholarship.

I know a lot  pundits want to classify ‘change of pace’ backs as little, scat back, open field types.  Well if the NFL with John Kuhn and more so Peyton Hillis have shown larger, pounding, athletic backs can get it done and ‘change the pace’, too.  Except this ‘change of pace’ normally occurs between the tackles and results in knocking the hell and bowling over some folks.  That’s running with purpose, and since we haven’t been able to run between the tackles well all season, who knows?  Maybe Malcome is ready to unleash a little.

Some Pics and videos of Malcome:

– Inspector G

The Gambler, week 6

This week’s Original Silverback ™ notable lines are brought to you by Pemmican’s fine assortment of beef jerky. Not because Pemmican actually sponsors anything, but because Kenny loves him some beef jerky (it was a staple of his youth) and he actually grinds it into a fine powder and smokes it in his favorite pipe, which is named “Steve”.

WTF ARE YOU THINKING?!?

(19) SOUTH CAROLINA +6.5 VS. (1) ALABAMA
Nick Saban just called me a bitch for making this pick but the Cocks have been marinating in rage for the past two weeks in anticipation of this game. After losing by 8 at Auburn at the expense of four post-halftime turnovers has to at least give SC some confidence. As per usual with most of our picks though, this will likely end in embarrassment and humiliation, much like Paul Johnson’s sex life.

(14) FLORIDA -6.5 VS. (12) LSU
Honestly this pick is about as risky as jamming your dick into an inhabited muskrat hole but we think ole Les used up his last ounce of pixie dust last week with the foreskin-thin escape against the Fightin’ Dooleys. Les Miles’ dumbassery can be overcome by talent advantages over teams like Tennessee, but dicking around on the sideline instead of actually coaching against Florida will result in a big red L.

KENNY’S SAFE BETS

(17) MICHIGAN STATE +4.5 @ (18) MICHIGAN
We’re not sold on ESPN’s latest sack riding victim’s (Denard Robinson) durability so this one should be a common sense easy pick. Michigan’s patsie fest comes to an end against the team that just dispatched Wisconsin and we don’t expect the Wolverine defense to progress out of shitty mode which it appears to be stuck in.

TENNESSEE -11 @ GEORGIA
We think Vegas was collectively high when favoring Georgia by 11. We’ve personally picked Georgia to win every game thus far this season but the fucking opponents just don’t want to cooperate. These picks all made while wearing Homer glasses and red pants, of course. We think Georgia wins (duh), but not this big. Tennessee comes out flat after experiencing PMS-like emotional swings last week.

“JUMP ON IT” Line of the Week

(8) AUBURN -6.5 @ KENTUCKY
After seeing Kentucky’s defense get shat upon two weeks in a row by Florida and Ole Miss, Cam Newton’s gotta be feeling like Chris Rainey in a room full of scantily clad snowbunnies. This pick is a no-brainer.

"Haters gonna hate." - Gus Malzahn

The “NO ONE CARES EXCEPT SWEET LOU AND MARCY MAY” Line of the Week

NOTRE DAME -7 VS. PITT
Rumor has it that winner of this bet will get to sleep with the other guy’s spouse. We expect Lou Holtz to be not-so-pleasantly surprised when he finds out that Mark May’s wife is his left hand. Lou’s left hand that is. Mark took an instant liking to it when he found that it had fallen off of Lou several years ago and was lying under the podium on the set of Thursday Night College Football. Lou’s left hand joins a growing list of missing objects which have yet to be turned in to ESPN’s lost & found. This includes but is not limited to Chris Berman’s wig, Stuart Scott’s eye, and Pam Ward’s dick.

There you have it. Take it to the bank. But don’t dare blame us when a couple blacked out Escalades show up at your house one night after not paying up.

Inspector’s Go-Go Fantasy Football C-C-C-Combo Breaker…WEEK 5

Ladies and gents, kids and adolescents: Welcome to the Inspector’s Week 5 fantasy Combo Breaker.

Was I right last week?  On everything except John Kuhn (except the Pack just really didn’t run the ball, but he still had a good YPC) R. Mendenhall (but did you think I was serious?), and Matt Ryan, but the birds still one so I was happy.

QB Bonanza:

Must starts: P. Manning, D. Brees, A. Rodgers, P. Rivers, M. Schaub

Bye-Week-Busters: Caution: These are risky, but could help you with potential big games on your QB’s bye week… E. Manning, M. Ryan, K. Orton.

Ride the Pine: J. Flacco…I’m still not buying it. Kevin Kolb…really?  Why don’t you like DeSean Jackson?  So until you throw it to him, I will keep you here.

RB’s:

Must Starts: F. Gore, P. Hillis (surprising, but he is getting it done on that crappy team, what makes you think he would stop?), A. Foster, M. Jones-Drew, A. Peterson.

Borderline: C. johnson…well, he won’t do what he did last year, but still could have a monster game. M. Forte…with Cutler out, look for more rushing, but no promises here. S. Jackson…is his groin hurt or not? who knows.  P. Thomas…another injury doubting Thomas, but if he can play I project at least 11.

Pick Him Up: R. Torain (WSH)…with Portis out, look for Torain to take the bulk of the load and honestly he is explosive, elusive, and if given any space, he may surprise you. And for what it’s worth, I’m starting him on this bye-week.  L. Blount…no sucker punches here, unless you mean the goaline…with the Head Coach in Tampa wanting him to get more carries (especially on the goalline) he might eak out 10 or so.  But success here will result in more carries.  Muy Bueno.

Ride the Pine: Brandon Jackson…the most disappointing no 2 besides….Shonn Greene…awful.  Chris Ivory…he bad.

W/R:

Must Starts: D. Jackson, R. Wayne, R. White, C. Johnson (welcome back, kid), H. Nicks, A. Boldin, G. Jennings

Borderline: J Maclin, M. Colston, L. Moore (look, don’t put much stock into him now that he has been targeted so much for 2 straight weeks), S. Moss…wow, way to go D. Mcnabb. D. Driver…in the flex, good for 9-10 a game.

Pick Him Up: Brandon LLoyd, if you haven’t already. M. Thomas (JAX)…since Mike Sims-Walker is such a no count bum, this is Jax’s no 1 WR right now and if Gar-tard can get it to him, look for decent numbers.

Ride the Pine: Mike Sims-Walker (what is it wiht Jax and hyphenated names?).  L. Evans…really Buffalo, really? P. Garcon…Whiskey Tango Foxtrot.

TE STREAKS:

Must starts: Antonio Gates, Tony Gonzalez, Jermichael Finley, Dallas Clark, Dustin Keller.

Borderline: Z. Miller, G. Olsen, B. Celek.  Are their teams good enough to get them the ball enough to make an impact?  Maybe, Maybe not….

Ride the Pine: J. Shockey, V. Shiancoe, T. Heap.

Good luck and God’s Spead,

Inspector’s Record’s:

Big Pay league: 2-2 (but lost both by a combined 6 opts)

Small Pay League: 2-2 (I’m receiver heavy and Shonn Greene is killing me)

-Inspector G

Well, at least someone on the team is pissed off…

From Seth Emerson’s Georgia Beat Blog:

“We’re pissed off,” Charles said Wednesday. “That’s our thing right now. We’re pissed off right now. We’re 1-4. We’ve got a lot of fans saying this, a lot of fans saying that. And I mean, we just want to make everybody happy. We want to be happy.

“We’re tired of walking around the locker room, quiet, coaches yelling at us all the time for no reason, because we’re losing. So we’re just going out there and to get our respect back. We’re pissed off right now.”

And just to be clear:

“I’m speaking for everyone at Georgia,” Charles said.

There hasn’t been a singular fiery speech by one player, the tight end added, because everyone feels the same way.

“We can’t change the past,” Charles said. “We’ve gotta move forward. The main thing is we’ve gotta stick together.”

Charles said he has also detected a difference in head coach Mark Richt, who on Wednesday night had to answer a question of whether he was fighting for his job. Publicly, Richt has remained rather even-keel, but in practice it’s apparently been a different story.

“I noticed he was kind of hyped when it came down on Monday, and everybody started hitting,” Charles said. “He was a little jumpy. We started getting hyped. And coach was in it. That was what we really needed.”

Richt called a full-pads practice on Monday, the first time he had done so two days after a game in his 10 years at Georgia. Charles said the players approved.

“I felt like we needed it,” Charles said. “Like coach Richt said, camp was a little lighter than usual. To tell the truth, it put a lot of energy around the locker room. Everybody was ready to go. Everybody when in the training room and got taped. So you knew everyone was really excited.”

So people felt like it was about time, and that it was needed?

“Oh yeah,” Charles said. “Oh yeah.”

I don’t know if this is a clear sign that the players are feeling pressure, too.  But I hope so.  Like the old saying: ‘If life hands you a crap filled sandwich…”  Hopefully they are all fed up with this nonsense and will come out cranked up and hopefully find some leadership…

On a personal note, I really think this is gutsy as hell for Orson to say.  And he should be pissed, as few times as he has been targeted this year.  This is the kinda stuff that will help the team.  Sorry Richt, praying won’t help right the ship, God could give 3 lesser craps about if we win/lose/draw.  Maybe a few cuss words in the locker room would help, too.

-Inspector G

Holy Moly…

Ok, so I lied.  I’m still a UGA homer, but I can still see the writing on the wall.  This post is an attempt to highlight one of the greatest plays I have ever seen (albeit after the fact because I was working while it happened, but knew it was special by how Scott Howard called it).

Props to you, AJ…

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p9o45rHnNRA

-Inspector G