IT’S FLORIDA WEEK!!!!!!!
This is the biggest game of the year and honestly, it really wasn’t 2 weeks ago. That’s why we here at HTT are pulling out all the stops and posting not only informative and insightful material, but material that will hopefully make you make fun of, guffaw at, and hate hate hate on all things gator.
First things first; for yet another year, I cannot attend the game. I have to work this weekend. Foxtrot Mike Lima.
Next, I will warn all of you ladies and/or female significant others out there to stay away from this guy:
Jeanus Shortus Douchebagus is found in and around trailer parks, central florida dive bars, and anywhere Pall Malls are sold. These idiots crazy assholes run around, all nimbly bimbly like, meth’d out and want to talk about anything UF football, which normally revolves around how good Tebow is, why screwing Tebow is not gay, and why Tebow should start every NFL game.
Also these idiots crazy assholes like UGA girls. Normally a pick up line would start like this: “Hey baby, you ever flossed with 100% pure cotton before? No? Would you like a shot of Patron with crusties in it and a cigarette? No? Aw hell, I’m just kidding.” But they are not. They are 11ty Billion% serious.
These folks are to be the on receiving end of relentless, tenacious, and voracious attacks on their personal, physical, and emotional health. No holds barred. No family member stricken with cancer on her death or a slow opaquely simpleton child should be spared. Use all you can, crush them mercilessly and when you’re done and they are crying pour salt, gasoline, Turbo AIDS, dicks, and a flame thrower in their wounds. Basically defecate in and or around their souls, their very essence.
In the spirit of this week and Hallows Eve, here is a lovely picture captured by a true Dawg fan who gets the point. This fine gentleman actually dressed up as a Gator fan for Halloween and lo and behold, he got a plethora of these: “What are you supposed to be? A Florida fan?” Ah, the irony is palpable.
Moving right along, I really like our chances in this one. I think we might have finally hit rock bottom enough to not care about the ‘Jax Jinx’ bullcrap. It’s about time we just forget about all of that mojo and quit pissing ourselves when we cross the state line. Mark my words: Attitude will be the difference in this game, not talent.
More to come later. Register for our feed so you automatically get the updates. As one loyal and valued reader told me recently, “[Inspector G], I wasted like a whole Friday at work reading your site. It was the most productive thing I’d done all week.” Now THAT’s what I’m talking about. Invite your UGA savvy and UF friends, too. Tell them about us! Invite them to visit HTT, register, and subscribe.
In all seriousness Captain and I want to thank all of you: friends, readers, subscribers, our two new Post Ready Members (who have yet to post anything, so get with it…)…I know some of you might deem this a little too ‘racy’ or ‘profanity laced’, but if you do, you obviously don’t know us very well or our friends. But again, THANK YOU!
More to come this week…wow, EPICNESS…stay tuned…