The Gambler, week 8

THIS HERE'S THE BAT FETCHER TRICK WITH MAH TEEEETH

After a 5-4-1 run last week (EXCUSE ME THAT’S BETTER THAN 50% SIR), Kenny serves up his notable week 8 college football spreads. Kenny would also like to remind everyone that he was raised on the dairy, bitch.

TENNESSEE +16.5 VS. #8 ALABAMA
The Fightin’ Doolies had an extra week to prepare for this one and they sure as shit kept it close on the road last year so I’m not buying into a spread that high with how tough these two teams generally play each other. Then again, relying on the past to make future predictions really bit me in the ass last week.

NORTH CAROLINA +6.5 @ MIAMI
Butch Davis is 3-0 against Miami since taking the reins at UNC and I expect him to remain perfect after visiting Joe Robbie Pro Player Sun Life JimmyBuffetLand what the fuck is this place called? FSU and THE OHIO STATE, SON won with explosive running offenses against the Hurricanes earlier this season and UNC does not have a consistent ground game to rely on, but expect several Hail Jacory’s to end up in the hands of the UNC secondary to make up for that. Straight-up may be a stretch, but definitely take UNC and the points.

GEORGIA -4.5 @ KENTUCKY
I actually feel very comfortable making this pick given the past two Georgia performances, especially on defense. Derrick Locke being out doesn’t hurt either because it removes that dimension from the Wildcat offense. This is combined with a statistical defensive and special teams advantage in Georgia’s favor. Kentucky may have “swagger” for the win last season but revenge and rage is on the minds of Georgia players not named Joe Cox. Expect the Dawgs to turn around their road woes tomorrow night. Phil Steele is big on Aaron Murray putting up a strong performance to boot.

Aaron Murray, Georgia-I used redshirt frosh Murray a couple of weeks ago against Tennessee and called for him to have a career day and he had 266 yds (68%) with a 2-0 ratio and added 41 rush yds (5.9) and 2 TD’s. The Bulldogs and Murray had 4 straight losses w/out WR AJ Green at full health but have outscored their last two opp’s by a combined 84-14 with him 100%. This week Murray faces a Kentucky pass defense that is drained from the come-from-behind win against South Carolina and I look for Murray to keep putting up solid numbers and he gets the Bulldogs back to .500. Murray is a surprise pick with the fact that he is only a frosh and Kentucky is off a huge upset over South Carolina last week.

NAVY +6.5 VS. NOTRE DAME
This is more of a spite pick because I hate leprechauns and Charlie Weis is fat. No shit he’s gone but the Doritos crumbs are still smeared into the carpet around what is now Brian Kelly’s desk and he’s pissed.

SAY 'YEAHHHHHHHHH'

#14 OKLAHOMA STATE +5.5 VS. #16 NEBRASKA
“HAHAHA good luck reading my hieroglyphics, Bo. Where’s my fucking hair product guys??” – Mike Gundy

WAT

#1 OKLAHOMA -3 @ #11 MISSOURI
I kind of expected this to be a higher spread but apparently someone in Vegas knows something the rest of us don’t. This should be clue #1 to take Mizzou and the points but I’m not that kinda guy. Scouts have said Blaine Gabbert gets antsy in the pocket when his target is blanketed and can morph into a Joe Coxian madman (without the purple chameleon skin), but this fact is null and void when confronted with a Willie Martinez coached secondary. I expect OU’s ground game to be the key to this game.

#6 LSU +6 @ #4 AUBURN
GAME OF THE YEAR OF WEEK 8. God loves Les Miles and his derpty-derp charisma so LSU will end up -4 in turnover margin yet will still manage to pull this one out.

CLEMSON -5.5 VS. GEORGIA TECH
This really could go either way because both teams either have it together or don’t. Pretty hard to figure them out due to horrible inconsistency, especially GT. In the past I’ve generally liked to see GT do well then get crushed in that last game in November because that’s what smart fans should want. However, my gut has recently been telling me to hope for GT to fail miserably. This all came to fruition when I saw a manatee of a bitch wearing a 6-XL GT hoodie adamantly cheering against Georgia during the Arkansas game this season. After getting a translation from a marine biologist, she was overheard saying, “I don’t even like Arkansas, but I hate Georgia.” Why were you even in Athens you disgusting mammoth whore? I apologize for the digression. Pick the ACC Tigers in this one.

WEAK GUYS. REAL FUCKING FUNNY GIVING ME THE MEXICAN BRICK WEED LACED WITH PCP. AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“Go Doggies!” – Burrow Bracket

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