Monthly Archives: September 2010
“You know one time I was in PCB, you know the land where teenage virginity goes to die, and I was at this little breakfast nook. Lo and behold, in walks Matthew Stafford brandishing a clutch purse, a face full of smeared make-up, and two she males. He signed about 10 autographs, ate 3 ginormous denver style omlettes. As he was leaving, he slapped one of the she males on the butt. It was the straightest thing I’ve ever seen.”
Branden Smith is cleared to play. That’s great news. According to Seth Emerson he would be able to return punts, work in the secondary, etc. Lawd knows we need him.
Chapas is still not 100%, nor will he be for another couple of weeks. But he is improving. We need him as badly as Rosie O’Donnell and Jimmy Carter need a hot steaming bath of STFU. It’s that serious.
In some not-so-positive news, nose tackle Justin “Bean” Anderson will have season-ending toe surgery in time to recover for next year. Anderson has sat out the past two games with turf toe.
This leaves Georgia with just DeAngelo Tyson and Kwame Geathers as the only listed players at the already thin position. However, Todd Grantham’s scheme versatility has allowed guys such as Abry Jones and Brandon Wood to shift inside to give Tyson and Geathers breathers.
We have a suspicion that those elusive red panties can be pointed to for the blame.
What’s up with the recent string of college football players stealing laptops? Michigan State TE Dion Sims is the latest guy caught up in this hip, new craze taking college campuses by storm. Sims has been implicated in a theft ring that has allegedly stolen over 100 laptops from the Detroit public school system then selling them online. Sims joins the portable PC snatching club with other notables Jeremiah Masoli and Cam Newton.
Detroit? Seriously? Below is a photo of what we believe is commonly being used in 2010 in Detroit’s public school system.
In the grand scheme of things, Sims’ accomplishments pale in comparison to Masoli’s. The way Sims went about acquiring said laptops amounted to robbing 7-year-olds of their ability to play Oregon Trail or sneak a picture of a boob with Google image search. Not exactly a tough heist. Masoli, however, waltzed into a frat house dressed as a hooker looking for some lacrosse players while him and a pal took turns distracting bros until it was deemed safe to make off with the loot.
We would like to see an in-season Fulmer Cup challenge started up to keep track of these capers.
Fleeting thought… Jayson Werth looks like a serial killer in hiding.
This is for all of you fans out there, contemplating whether or not you should be teetering on trying trying to root for the Dawgs, or switch to the Colorado University of Mines…never gonna give you up baby…I took the liberty of stirring your insides with this tasty lick.
Seriously, even if you don’t like Richt, Bobo, or (gasp) Murray, you should still be completely any utterly sold out for your team. Because as I’ve said a thousand times: You’re either a fan or You’re Florida, and if you are for Florida you have my permission to take a bath with a toaster.
As most of you know, we are dinged up a little this week. Branden Smith, Shaun Chapas, Chris Davis are either doubtful or will not play. And of course, there is AJ….wtf? I’m still not over that yet.
Impact: Let me try to put this into words where everyone will understand: Chapas gets my nod for the best all around fullback UGA has had in the Richt era. Does that effect your offensive production, protection, and the bottom line? Hell yes it does.
Branden is one of the most explosive players in the SEC, let alone the nation. Just with him on the field as a decoy gives defenses fits. Not to mention, he’s one of our better players in the secondary. If he can’t go, no bueno.
Chris Davis being out hurts, but I think Tanner Strickland is coming along nicely (judging by my game brekadown on Sunday) and hopefully will not be as injury prone. I think this actually might be a positive if he starts.
Well, Captain and I finally decided to create a blog. So now all our friend (and outsiders, too) can use this as your one stop shop for your UGA/SEC rants, raves, and your sensible information download.
Addendum by Captain Brock:
Please bear with us as we tweak the design and layout of the site to make it look as presentable as possible.